Webster defined it best; I am in transition...
1: passage from one state, stage, subject, or place to another : change b: a movement, development, or evolution from one form, stage, or style to another
I find myself in state of analysis and self-awareness on a pretty moment by moment basis right now. Life is a changing in alot of ways that are subtle steps in a new direction with my career, my ministry and my friendships. I think the thing to note as that as you take small steps (or baby steps as "What about Bob" would token them as), over the course of time, those become longer strides. Webster's second part of the definition is how I feel pretty regularly:
2: an abrupt change in energy state or level (as of an atomic nucleus or a molecule) usually accompanied by loss or gain of a single quantum of energy
With transition comes alot of overwhelming moments of ups and downs, of confidence and questions. And I like it, life is exciting right now because things are evolving if that can be used in a Non-Darwin sense; maybe as we grow into our best selves or really who God has made us to be, there is strengthening process that takes place. A survival of the fittest me.
Some pieces of this process are taking me back to figuring out where my identity lies. It isn't in what I do or don't know in my job, it isn't in my commitments to ministry. It is in the way I love people and what I do with my brainspace and my personal time. I am really excited about some of the things taking place in me even though it feels awkward and painful alot of the time to try to explain myself in ways I don't understand.
But what I do know is, if I take life on a day-to-day basis, I'm alright. And this weekend kicked off a week I am pretty stinkin excited for. Which began last night at dinner with my very best friend at Reza's to savor some Persian goods. mmm hm... good food and even better conversation. And now I find myself on this rain day sitting with an oversized mug in hand at my home away from home, my Dad's house in Naperville. Tomorrow is Chicago Half-Marathon number 2 so Saturday is filled with hydrating, eating carbs and relaxin. And then off to Indy for the IUPUI Fundraising School course...more to come on that.