Friday, June 4, 2010

ezer kenegdo: existing in the tension

I always knew I wanted to marry Ryan when he challenged me. I still remember reading the engagement card Bethany gave me and how she noted the way we challenged one another. It always made me feel loved to know that someone cared enough to tell me the truth and Allison told me that is how she knew Ryan was the one for me.

That tension exists still today in our marriage and something we learned in Israel has really stuck with me. We talked about how deep and healthy relationships have ezer kenegdo. Imagine 2 people walking face to face with their palms pressed up against one another and leaning into one another with their full weight. It's like walking a tight rope as a pair, there has to be tension moving you forward. Ezer (the deep love and commitment part) and kenegdo (pushing one another forward)--otherwise translated as "helper", explains this tension.

Our marriage will always have this hard pull in it. We are so different from one another in almost every possible way but it is the commitment we have to one another and the tension that it creates which forces us to discuss, debate, and ultimately move forward. So bless God for ezer kenegdo because it is forcing me to love and to change.


  1. So well put Bekah, you have a wonderful way of taking your thoughts and using words to create a beautiful picture. Thank you for sharing this. It leaves me thinking.