Getting lost in alot of emotion lately. understatement. I am surprised as a 25 year old, 3 year marriage veteran at the struggles I am going through in finding my place in social spheres, the professional world and my own family dynamics. I guessed I would have it together by now. Ha. Even as I type that I can see how far from the truth that is. We never "have it together" and that is why we need God. So I proceed into a season of asking myself hard questions, learning how to let go of the grip on my life that I try to hold.
Tonight I was reminded by a friend how important thankfulness is. The whole reason I started this blog in the first place, thankfully thinking. So here are a few of my favorite things as of late, if for no other reason but to remind me of how joys can be big or small.
-Let's start with Pandora., I mean, how do they know that just because I love Norah that I will love Sara Bareilles and Jason Mraz and all of my other mellow music friends?!
-Let me not fail to mention these new little spiky guys who have made getting my mail and walking my dog a little less life threatening in the Midwest.
-Ryan's new found passion for writing, spilling out here
-Thinking about my vacation this summer at the Lake Geneva, WI Resort with my Dad, Evon & all 5 kids plus significant others.. our Christmas present this year. 12 people, 2 condos. sunshine.
-Meijer's sparkling water.. Peach, Raspberry, Lime. the more fizz the better
pure and simple joys.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Finding My Pace
Because of my love/hate relationship with training and running, it makes sense for me to think of how I am living in speed or pace terms. The past 3 years were for the most part a pretty strong pace, pursuing so many things professionally, personally and relationally. Let's say a 9:30 mile if we can. Feeling strong and pushing ahead.
But here is the thing I am learning. Without cross-training myself, ie. being in the Word, inviting truth & accountability, and serving others, I become pretty weak. I don't have the endurance it takes to walk through change and struggle without injury. Injury to myself in how I view myself at times, strain in relationships and an inability to persevere. Feeling like an 11 minute mile might be a stretch in these times. Here is the beautiful part; God came in and kicked my butt back into gear for me and I didn't even know someone was praying for me that He would.
3 weeks ago, today actually, I was working from home when my boss called me into work to let me know that he was going to need to let me go due to financial strain in the company. He asked that I type a list of all open projects and turn it in to him by 5 pm. So I decided that rather sit home and feel sorry for myself, it would be good for my mental health to visit my favorite coffee shop in Grandville...Bigby. Ah, the corner chairs, the steamy latte...I knew it would be therapy in some form or another.Here is where the story turns from a downer to unexpected blessing larger than my dreams can stir up. As I pulled into the parking lot, this is what I saw:
Of course I was curious and actually remembered the one and only other time I had heard of the organization represented on the hummer. It was this past Spring when I was visiting Allison at her work at the Bigby on the E. Beltline. Hmm. I found myself asking the guy that got out of it if he worked for Mentor 1 or if he was driving it as a sponsored vehicle for the radio station also on there. He said the organization, I said "cool" and got my tall vanilla latte skinny and headed to my chair. As I began to work toward my 5:00 deadline, I thought I might just check out the Mentor 1 website. Before I knew it I was out of my chair to go talk to this guy, who come to find out is the founder & executive director. Realized he was on his phone and was a bit relieved to sit back down. Without even thinking, knew I had to talk to him, still not sure what about at this point seeing as I had been crying earlier and probably wasn't at my best. I suppose God doesn't require me to have my Sunday best on though so I went for it.
What followed was half an hour of great conversation; about where I had been and what I had been doing, about how 2 hours earlier I had been let go from an organization doing precisely what Mentor 1 would be looking for. It has been a pretty exciting 21 days since then, with it all coming together. When I got home that night, Ryan let me know he has been praying that God would do something to shake me out of my fog. My words, not his, but just that I would wake up and see all that is in front of me. I'm fighting uphill to do so; to make harder choices. To submit and search out true Joy and not my own happiness or comfort. That part has been pretty in my face with this transition. I am not in this for the money. Understatement.
And if that wasn't enought excitement, my VERY best friend got married on Saturday night to a man whom which I could not have handpicked any better. And it was the sweetest of affairs, a culmination of their relationship with vows from their heart and not a dry eye in the place. I loved every second of being part of their celebration; from Mexican food 2 nights before with Em (just like we did 2 nights before my wedding)to sharing the day getting ready and getting closer with Emily's sisters and the other girls to breakin it down on the dance floor. This is a picture of our delighted bride right before I BAWLED at the sight of her beauty!
But here is the thing I am learning. Without cross-training myself, ie. being in the Word, inviting truth & accountability, and serving others, I become pretty weak. I don't have the endurance it takes to walk through change and struggle without injury. Injury to myself in how I view myself at times, strain in relationships and an inability to persevere. Feeling like an 11 minute mile might be a stretch in these times. Here is the beautiful part; God came in and kicked my butt back into gear for me and I didn't even know someone was praying for me that He would.
3 weeks ago, today actually, I was working from home when my boss called me into work to let me know that he was going to need to let me go due to financial strain in the company. He asked that I type a list of all open projects and turn it in to him by 5 pm. So I decided that rather sit home and feel sorry for myself, it would be good for my mental health to visit my favorite coffee shop in Grandville...Bigby. Ah, the corner chairs, the steamy latte...I knew it would be therapy in some form or another.Here is where the story turns from a downer to unexpected blessing larger than my dreams can stir up. As I pulled into the parking lot, this is what I saw:
Of course I was curious and actually remembered the one and only other time I had heard of the organization represented on the hummer. It was this past Spring when I was visiting Allison at her work at the Bigby on the E. Beltline. Hmm. I found myself asking the guy that got out of it if he worked for Mentor 1 or if he was driving it as a sponsored vehicle for the radio station also on there. He said the organization, I said "cool" and got my tall vanilla latte skinny and headed to my chair. As I began to work toward my 5:00 deadline, I thought I might just check out the Mentor 1 website. Before I knew it I was out of my chair to go talk to this guy, who come to find out is the founder & executive director. Realized he was on his phone and was a bit relieved to sit back down. Without even thinking, knew I had to talk to him, still not sure what about at this point seeing as I had been crying earlier and probably wasn't at my best. I suppose God doesn't require me to have my Sunday best on though so I went for it. What followed was half an hour of great conversation; about where I had been and what I had been doing, about how 2 hours earlier I had been let go from an organization doing precisely what Mentor 1 would be looking for. It has been a pretty exciting 21 days since then, with it all coming together. When I got home that night, Ryan let me know he has been praying that God would do something to shake me out of my fog. My words, not his, but just that I would wake up and see all that is in front of me. I'm fighting uphill to do so; to make harder choices. To submit and search out true Joy and not my own happiness or comfort. That part has been pretty in my face with this transition. I am not in this for the money. Understatement.
And if that wasn't enought excitement, my VERY best friend got married on Saturday night to a man whom which I could not have handpicked any better. And it was the sweetest of affairs, a culmination of their relationship with vows from their heart and not a dry eye in the place. I loved every second of being part of their celebration; from Mexican food 2 nights before with Em (just like we did 2 nights before my wedding)to sharing the day getting ready and getting closer with Emily's sisters and the other girls to breakin it down on the dance floor. This is a picture of our delighted bride right before I BAWLED at the sight of her beauty!
Monday, January 5, 2009
Beginning to Blog again
A year ago today...I was here.
If you weren't a reader last year, check out more of my India story here:
http://rebekahwallace.blogspot.com
More to come VERY soon! I miss writing and have lots of stories to tell including the crazy way I lost my job and got a new one on the same day at:
Happy 2009!
If you weren't a reader last year, check out more of my India story here:
http://rebekahwallace.blogspot.com
More to come VERY soon! I miss writing and have lots of stories to tell including the crazy way I lost my job and got a new one on the same day at:
Happy 2009!
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