speaking of creating...

God has been doing some pretty amazing creating of his own in our lives, knitting together this little one I am carrying. I am so thrilled to share that Ryan and I will be parents in May and we feel so blessed already.

It has been incredibly fun to share with friends & family and to FINALLY get to hear the heartbeat this week made it even more real to me. It seems like every day I wake up thankful, for a healthy pregnancy and for the chance to experience this part of life.

I am already learning so much about how little control we really have in our lives and feeling challenged to just surrender this journey to Him. It is amazing to think about how much will change in the next 6 months as we go from two to three and I'm really glad we have had this time with just the two of us, to learn together and to have had so many great adventures before we embark on this one.

I mean, just look at us, we look like responsible adults, right? Hehe, I like to think that the best adventures are yet to come.

the need to create

I've been itching in my skin to do some major creating lately which means I haven't done any in way too long. My need has been playing itself out by my picking back up where I left off in my writing and starting to dream about creating Christmas presents for those I love. I know, it is a bit early but a girl needs a good reason to dream once in awhile.

The book event on Monday further affirmed that within me and before I go any further, I must say that the word that comes to mind with the whole evening was simply "lovely". Everything from the chapters that Shauna read to the conversation that followed, it was a blessing to be part of it and having Molly by my side as the perfect companion made it even sweeter. We have both been so blessed by Shauna's writing and it just affirmed what we knew was true, that words shared have meaning and that stories matter.


And so does creating, so I am going to spend part of my evening scouring my favorite craft sites to see what I can be inspired by. I have some friends who just started making their own homemade vanilla extract for gifts, in cute little glass jars (I didn't know vanilla beans + vodka + time= vanilla but it is true!). I have considered doing some type of food related gifts, like taking balls jars and filling them in layers with soup mix, or even better, the ingredients for something sweet. I am convinced there is a way to update this gift idea in a way that isn't country bumpkinish. Maybe updated labels or including a fun whisk or mixing spoon would add some flair?

pics taken from this site

With that in mind, here is a little giveaway to get your creative juices flowing. I also have on hand a few little embellishments of my own from Uppercase Living (like a chocolate brown pine cone sticker that needs to find a new home on a vase filled with something fun--will post pics when I find that perfect thing).



This "family" embellishment is all yours, in either black or cream and I think it would look wonderful on a frame with a black & white pic, on a wall collage, on a platter for your mother-in-law or even on an old shabby chic window as such:


I want to know what you are inspired by and creating right now! Also open to other DIY Christmas gifts! Leave me some inspiration in the form of a comment by Monday night at 6 p.m. to enter. Happy Creating!

a snapshot

a tiny little bit of how I spent the past week. Amazing how multiple nights of only 5-6 hours of sleep can leave me so energized.

thankful for:
safety
laughter
coffee
going deeper with students & other leaders
protection
that Ryan joined us for 2 days
God's alignment of all of the crazy details
unity

more to come!

it's my favorite day of the year

no competition. This day is it. As I have gotten older, our annual traditions have not changed but my emotions around them have deepened. I believe as a child and even a teenager, that I experienced a very real joy around Christmas and sensed and sacredness of lighting the candles and reading Luke 2.
Now as I am comfortably into my 20s, I know that every year with my grandparents is a gift and that the traditions that my family carries on are unique and all ours. It gets so easy to get lost in gifts and lists and plans the older we get but today I won't let the adult in me steal my childlike wonder.

But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."
Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

"Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace to men
on whom his favor rests."
-Luke 2:10-14

late night date night

last night was a gift. I can't remember the last time we were the 2 crazy kids pulling a late night mid-week and it was a celebration of living it up. Despite my ever present runny nose this week, it was glorious. Ryan pulled out the entertainment book (a mature piece of the crazy kids evening) to find out where we had buy one get one in GR and gave me 3 choices. I settled on what seemed the obvious, Old Chicago because I knew that pizza is always a happy default. I ended up ordering the Oriental Chicken:
Teriyaki chicken over spiced, chilled noodles, crisp greens, carrots and red bell peppers with our house Italian and sweet chili dressing, green onions, wonton strips and toasted sesame seeds. (as taken from the website menu). yum. He got a bacon cheeseburger and both parties were happy.

From there we froclicked aimlessly around the mall, stopping to debate if I am too short for the over the boot jean look:

these were the particular pair in consideration and in retrospect, I think part of me was just excited that they fit over my calf because that NEVER happens. I didn't get them. not sure if I will.


We also saw a late night movie @ the $3 Celebration Cinema @ Woodland. Which is amazing because we have stopped going to movies as often anymore, due to my redbox obsession but I do still love sitting in theater. We went to see the movie 500 Days of Summer which "is not a love story. It is a story of boy meets girl".

It features these 2

...and I loved Zoeey Deschanel's captivating beauty and Joseph Gordon Levitt's hipster style. Along with the chalk wall in his bedroom, which we spent a good few minutes whispering about in the theater.

It also rekindled my lost love for Regina Spektor with her enchanting voice and beautiful piano skills. All in all, the night was a 2 thumbs way up, a night to remember and a welcomed break in the constant push and pull of life.

back to school giveaway!

I don't know it was the extra night we spent up North prolonging summer or the rows of pencils and notebooks at Walmart that put the back to school spirit in my step, but I am feeling it. And as much as I would love an excuse to hang a new bulletin board in my entry way and line up my Trapper Keeper just right on my desk, I will refrain.

However, in the spirit of back to school and fall goodness, I am pulling out a giveaway that has been in the works via facebook emails since early August. I was waiting for the right time and today feels like it has come. So, without any further ado...here is your opportunity at some very fun and crafty goodness.

I think I first came across Daisys & Dots through the wonderful world known as ETSY and from there, began following her work, dreaming of ways to celebrate with her designs. Head on over there and check some of them out yourself here:



AND...AND...AND...Daisys & Dots made the Modern Bride Top 100 Things We Love List in the Aug/Sep edition! So the lovely Trish, the heart and hands behind "Daisys & Dots" has invited us to be part of that celebration, to have her cake and eat it too. hehe. forgive the pun (Kelly, Bethany & Emily are giggling right now I am sure).


What does all of this mean for you? Head on over to Daisys & Dots Etsy this week and check out all of the goodies. Let me know what your FAVORITE thing is and one lucky reader will win any ONE thing up to a $30 value. You have until Friday night at midnight to enter so have fun.

Here is my current fave for inspiration. I know, I know, Christmas is FAR away but I think these would look so cute as little party favors at a brunch or any little table setting.

Wanted to share a few of the Florida pics in honor of the wonderful 3 days marking our 2009 reunion! I had such a great time spending with them, whether it be on Kel's couch discussing everything from the past year to the latest Jon & Kate updates...these are my girls. There is just something about being known. these are my friends. aren't they gorgeous?! And the best part is that they are beautiful inside and out.

Here are our host and hostess, Kelli & Jared whose invited us into their beautiful home for the weekend. I am so proud of Kel for the wife she is to Jared & not to mention her intense cooking and baking abilities. I have never seen a baker's rack so full of cookbooks in my life!

my dear city dwelling friend Emily who assured my sweaty palms during turbulence among other blessings

And then there is our little momma, Bethany, the first of the group to venture into the next chapter, motherhood. Thanks for paving the way B! You are going to be an awesome mom!



love you girlies and am feeling more refreshed than I have in months. God was so good to me, knowing the first week of June would be a perfect time for me to have a deep breath of fresh air. One other thing that was a really big blessing to me on the trip was that my early riser tendencies created a sacred window each morning for me to be in the word, studying Esther which is affirming my heart in personal and deep ways.

giving myself flowers.

I love the flowers blooming in my yard that I may or may not have pulled last year thinking they were weeds. Or maybe they didn't even pop up last May, I am not sure. All I know is that right now in this time of fullness and joy and tears, they seem like a gift to me that I didn't ask for or even deserve. But there they are, blooming fully around me in yellows, reds, purples, oranges, pinks. just for me and my kitchen, and my desk at work, and my heart. And I pick them, and they come back, ready to give me more beauty and grace.

They feel like their own little miracle which I need right now. I remember devouring Sabrina Ward Harrison's first book and work of art, "Spilling Open". and then "Brave on the Rocks" and I know there are more but those are the 2 that I snuck away on my lunch breaks from Marshall Fields during a college summer to read.

There was just something about the way that she let herself spill out her words with colors and art like they were no lines between them. And for her there weren't. I don't know philosophically or worldview wise if we are in sync but I resonated then and still now with her expression and how she uses that to experience life. So today it is the tulips and conversations with friends that spill open in front of me. and whether or not I place them in a vase, they bring me beauty.

what stands

life feels really full right now emotionally. If my emotions were a balloon, filling a little each time I felt, this week I would feel like I may burst. air in. air out. so much joy and sorrow crammed into a few short weeks of processing or maybe even just days. Although something wonderful happens with joyful news or events; they allow us to breathe out a little, letting some go of some of the pressure.

Within the past 36 hours, Ryan's grandpa was moved to a long term care facility, the I was astonished at how old and tiny my grandma looked after her knee surgery, and I witnessed the grief that came with the loss of the mom of my dear friend. Air into the balloon. I have also witnessed the joy of this same family as they celebrated the fact that this woman they love is now walking so closely with her Lord. And the exciting news this morning that a close friend who went through a deeply painful divorce 5 years ago is now engaged to wonderful guy who loves her and her girls. it feels redemptive of her journey. air out of the balloon.

Through it all, I have been drawn back to the words in Isaiah 40:
The grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of our God stands forever."

Finding My Pace

Because of my love/hate relationship with training and running, it makes sense for me to think of how I am living in speed or pace terms. The past 3 years were for the most part a pretty strong pace, pursuing so many things professionally, personally and relationally. Let's say a 9:30 mile if we can. Feeling strong and pushing ahead.
But here is the thing I am learning. Without cross-training myself, ie. being in the Word, inviting truth & accountability, and serving others, I become pretty weak. I don't have the endurance it takes to walk through change and struggle without injury. Injury to myself in how I view myself at times, strain in relationships and an inability to persevere. Feeling like an 11 minute mile might be a stretch in these times. Here is the beautiful part; God came in and kicked my butt back into gear for me and I didn't even know someone was praying for me that He would.
3 weeks ago, today actually, I was working from home when my boss called me into work to let me know that he was going to need to let me go due to financial strain in the company. He asked that I type a list of all open projects and turn it in to him by 5 pm. So I decided that rather sit home and feel sorry for myself, it would be good for my mental health to visit my favorite coffee shop in Grandville...Bigby. Ah, the corner chairs, the steamy latte...I knew it would be therapy in some form or another.Here is where the story turns from a downer to unexpected blessing larger than my dreams can stir up. As I pulled into the parking lot, this is what I saw: Of course I was curious and actually remembered the one and only other time I had heard of the organization represented on the hummer. It was this past Spring when I was visiting Allison at her work at the Bigby on the E. Beltline. Hmm. I found myself asking the guy that got out of it if he worked for Mentor 1 or if he was driving it as a sponsored vehicle for the radio station also on there. He said the organization, I said "cool" and got my tall vanilla latte skinny and headed to my chair. As I began to work toward my 5:00 deadline, I thought I might just check out the Mentor 1 website. Before I knew it I was out of my chair to go talk to this guy, who come to find out is the founder & executive director. Realized he was on his phone and was a bit relieved to sit back down. Without even thinking, knew I had to talk to him, still not sure what about at this point seeing as I had been crying earlier and probably wasn't at my best. I suppose God doesn't require me to have my Sunday best on though so I went for it.
What followed was half an hour of great conversation; about where I had been and what I had been doing, about how 2 hours earlier I had been let go from an organization doing precisely what Mentor 1 would be looking for. It has been a pretty exciting 21 days since then, with it all coming together. When I got home that night, Ryan let me know he has been praying that God would do something to shake me out of my fog. My words, not his, but just that I would wake up and see all that is in front of me. I'm fighting uphill to do so; to make harder choices. To submit and search out true Joy and not my own happiness or comfort. That part has been pretty in my face with this transition. I am not in this for the money. Understatement.

And if that wasn't enought excitement, my VERY best friend got married on Saturday night to a man whom which I could not have handpicked any better. And it was the sweetest of affairs, a culmination of their relationship with vows from their heart and not a dry eye in the place. I loved every second of being part of their celebration; from Mexican food 2 nights before with Em (just like we did 2 nights before my wedding)to sharing the day getting ready and getting closer with Emily's sisters and the other girls to breakin it down on the dance floor. This is a picture of our delighted bride right before I BAWLED at the sight of her beauty!

what a week!

we worked. we played. we surfed! and my best friend got engaged...




This past week with the high school students was such a blast. I am always blown away by how hard they work and what in turn gets accomplished. There were 31 of us total that cruised down last Sunday in a charter bus and after 21 hours in our chariot, I was ready for some Florida air in a major way. Monday through Thursday were pretty similiar in that we worked from 8-3 painting, building, cleaning up landscaping usually to a soundtrack of Rhianna, Britney and alot of gangstas that I don't know. Good times. One of the major highlights of the week for me was having Leah along as a sidekick as we co-lead the 8 girls on the trip. It was really fun to see the way our personalities brought out the craziness in one another and how we bonded with the girls.
After our days working we hit up Jacksonville beach armed with our boards and practiced getting up on the board while trying to stay clothed. It seemed like every wave one of us almost lost our top or had a major wedgie which was another source of entertainment for us and made it hard to modestly ride a wave. Our fearless leader Greg used to live in the area so he knew all of the good surf joints and hooked us up with great dinners every night after our nature filled showers. Dinner was always my favorite part of the day, and not just because of the awesome burritos and HUGE diet cokes but because we all shared our stories from the day and I laughed outloud alot. Why don't I have this much fun in my everyday life? I always come away from these weeks with a renewed sense of how much I need laughter and unadulterated JOY!













And then, if that wasn't enough, Ryan and I had the opportunity to share a really special day with our dear friends Emily and Dennis. When Dennis had called to let me know his proposal plans and hopes that we might share in their celebration I had already planned to be in Florida. But my husband, knowing me, knew how much it meant to me that I find a way to be there with him for this event. So after a few days of pouting, he agreed to let me fly home. Which saved me from another LONG bus ride and put me right where I wanted to be.

It has been so fun watching these two grow over the past few years from being great friends into a wonderful God fearing couple. My heart is filled with gladness that God brought someone as wonderful into Emily's life as Dennis. I still have memories of Emily lying on the floor in our off campus house senior year, talking to Dennis and us using our analyzing skills post-conversation. No more analyzing (and there hasn't been for quite some time now). It was a wonderful day sharing time with both of their families, feeling like we are part of Emily's and getting to know Dennis's fam. We can't wait for your wedding you guys!!

3 years ago today...

This picture reminds me of just how much fun I had at our wedding 3 years ago today! Nothing better than being surrounded by the people you love...and marrying your best friend. Never mind that my zipper completely ripped out an hour before the ceremony (nothing safety pins can't fix) or that I literally had to drive to my florist's house to confirm her arrival the day before...it all worked out because the thing about a wedding day is it is just that, a day.
The real love is found in the days plural when you have to work late, find yourself being hopelessly crabby, or just plain don't want to do the impending yardwork. And here we are 3 years later going strong and thankful for those vows. yeah, the ones we wrote at 11:30 p.m. together the night before our wedding over breadsticks and wine at Olive Garden.

from Good to Great...well actually it didn't start out so good

Well today wasn't one of those mornings where I popped out of bed; more like the snooze is probably broken from overuse and at 8:50 (embarrasing, I know for someone who prides themself on being a morning person) I drug myself out of bed only to find out I was having a terrible hair day, ripped my last spare contact and that my favorite business jacket was as wrinkly as a pug. So, with a quick straighter attempt on my hair and ensemble, I was off one-eyed to an interview.
Thankfully those nice (translated as accomadating in this case)ladies at the eye doctor hooked me up with full vision in 7 minutes flat so I had time to spare in the traffic back up.

I had to laugh though, amidst talking to myself on the highway on the way home. Amazing the time and opportunity this break from the 8-5 is affording me. I met with the executive director of a local organization and was so blessed by her story. She is in her early 60s and just beginning to explore her true passions in life within this organization. She was so affirming of me right where I am at and over coffee I could see that something in us was connected through our stories.

So back to the talking to myself; what I said outloud was "I have really great friends."

I realized today how many stories God has been weaving into my path. I think I have felt myself going through a shift in the past year or so of not thriving as deeply in a long list of acquantances but longing for deep relationship in those who I share life with. People who know my stories, like the time I ate a whole can of beans and threw up out my nose, or the high school heartbreak I thought would destroy my LIFE when he brought the replacement girlfriend in fishnets to district finals. Or the girls who drove me to 3 different gas stations to find a ben & jerrys flavor that sounded good at 11 p.m. and passed hours on a futon sharing reruns of friends and determining who a good pick-a-date would be, endless handy andy breadstick Tuesdays and shameless afternoons of skipped classes to go to Indy.

Those stories of the past and then the stories of the now shared over walks & lots of coffee in the corner chair at beaners in recent weeks! I am very clearly blessed so those of you who are characters in my story, thank you for playing your part and making me so bubbled over that I had to speak it outloud today.