for the love of writing

Here it is, the official CUTE logo that Ryan so lovingly designed for our new blog together. May I just point out that it includes is a bird? That was for me.

Anyways, we are excited to begin this new venture together because we really feel like we have a voice together that is better than either of us have alone. There is still going to be a lot of daily life processing from me under the "thankful" tab including my first post about my b-day last week. We also took some time to think through the heartbeat of why we write and shared that here. Our hope is that it serves as a blessing and encouragement as we go about our journey.

a new chapter

Here I sit with my little sweet pink bundle wrapped up and resting on my chest and I couldn't be happier. These quiet moments are what the mother part of my heart lives for and I am so thankful for them on a Sunday night.

I used to refer to the "Sunday night blues" on a regular basis during my college days, many times due to the fact that I was leaving a weekend with Ryan and starting classes at 8 a.m. the next morning. Then after college, Sunday nights represented youth group and craziness before a week of work and the blues went away in a sense because I really loved my work. Due to the fact that every day feels like Saturday right now, I have no concept of Sunday night vs. Wednesday night. However, I just caught myself thinking on this Sunday night and how full the quietness of a newborn can be. And I'm thankful for a new kind of Sunday night.

With Hannah sleeping I am thinking through the pieces of my writing that have been swirling around in my head today. I find inspiration in church, in conversations and in the day-to-day moments just waiting to be captured in words. Ryan and I have been having some late night "business meetings" as we call them where we pull up the chairs at the dining room table or settle in to our respective corners of the couch to talk about writing together. He has spent a good amount of time creating a new blog to represent us together and we have loved dreaming about it. If everything goes as planned, we are going to start writing over there tomorrow. No time like the present right?

I have LOVED everything about this open space for the past three years and as much as I am little afraid to leave it, I am even more excited about what is to come. We feel like there are a lot of things that God is putting on our hearts in this season as far as perspective, marriage and life in general that we are excited to write about together. Besides that, I want to keep growing my commitment to spilling life out in words because it brings me so much joy.

I write to share life but more than that, I write for myself. It is the best expression of me I can find and sometimes the only worship I know how to give. With that, bring on the new blog. I will post a link tomorrow and hope to see you there!

please, read this

In my continued voracious appetite for words as of late, I came across a book worthy of attention that I wanted to share:



"The Help" by Kathryn Stockett was a wonderful picture into southern life in a different time, that of women having full-time house help and the relationships between those women and those who truly served them with their lives. My eyes were opened not only to the lifestyle, the inequalities and the trials, but also the joys and the gladness shared. It was an offering of thought that maybe our human experiences are closer than we think in some ways. I ate up every one of the 464 pages in a matter of 5 short days. I know, this means I didn't do much else besides sleep, work and eat in those days but it was that good.

I have believed for a long time that words are important and have taken a sabbatical from creating my own words, something that re-reading "Bittersweet" before Monday's event with Shauna Niequist has reminded me is vital to my lifeblood, even if just for my own personal expression. Something inside me opens up when I read good words, whether it be on blogs, on page or in God's word. So I am committing to diving back into my own words on paper, giving them attention again and seeing where the pen takes me.

What words have you read lately that mean something to you?

I didn't mean to stay away...

But somehow writing forces me to be honest. And to be honest, there wasn't a whole lot I wanted to write about for the better part of the week because I didn't like my attitude and couldn't see around it. It snuck up on me in the beginnings of my favorite season, when leaves become crunchy and hoodies abound- how dare it?

But that is the way struggle and envy work, I think that they sneak in quietly and then before we know it, we feel a bit entangled. I started to lacking joy because I was seeing life through jealous eyes. I had to go back to what I know works- sharing my emotions with others, asking for prayer and constantly repeating through my head this Proverb:
" a heart at peace gives life to the body but envy rots the bones". Proverbs 14:30

I won't get into specifics but this is something that I know I feed at times and fight at others and I want to get better at fighting it. Or better yet ask God to help me fight it by seeing the blessings in front of me and taking the attention off of myself. I was talking about it with two friends last night and we wondered aloud if we might be experiencing this at 80 years old. Envying the way our friends hips still move or if they can get around in their walkers better than we can. That made it better, giving us something to giggle about but at the heart of it, I hope we aren't still stuck as women in comparing ourselves for value.

I have to believe somewhere along the way we make the decision to daily find our value in deeper things and not what we can do or be. Praying for the strength to have that maturity sooner rather than later in my life. I have no idea what God is calling me to in the future but I do know that I would be sad to look back and see that insecurity kept me from hearing or acting on His call. Thanks for letting this be a place where I can be honest. I hope that you are encouraged today knowing you are not alone and reminded of the truth that you are beautiful just as you are.

inspirational reminder at the top from this etsy shop

a few of my favorite things: fall edition

As we transition into fall, I can't help but be excited and distracted by the changing of colors in my very own front lawn. wow. brilliant and inspiring. Here are a few other things I am loving lately:

1.my new Mary Janes ala Target because even though I would hope to always keep my style more "classic" in nature, life is too short to not include a little flair: (sorry for the small pic)


2. Swirlberry! yum. They just opened a shop in downtown Saugatuck which is the perfect healthy alternative to my normal mile high ice cream cone. They offer a "make your own" frozen yogurt bar and Tuesday evening's combo included latte yogurt with chocolate chips, granola & a little coconut on top.

3. writing. off the blog and with introspection. I am pushing through thoughts that find their way into my mind regularly covering everything from transition to fighting for joy in everyday life, to forgiveness and friendship. I'm starting to get more attached to it, this little document that keeps growing and taking a life of its own. I'm not sure what more will come of it but I am starting to take more seriously the idea of sharing it with others in some fashion or another. If I am honest, I want to write a book. So I write and whether it shows up on a shelf somewhere or not, I am loving the process.

4. Also loving fall for students and the transition as it brings them back to local high school and college campus'. Monday night I roamed the lawn at GVSU, laughing and hugging some of my favorite students as our ice cream bars dripped in the heat. I love the uninhibited passion that returning to campus brings as some spent summers at camps, internships and working around home. Everyone had a story to tell, including my hilarious friend Carly who promised she would start blogging again and did she ever deliver. She shared her sentiments about how fast it all goes on the cusp of her senior year here on her blog and I loved reading her perspective.

5. And last, but certainly not least, how could I share my fall favorites without including these little gems:
They always remind me of fall at Taylor because every September I would go down to the front desk at Olson Hall to find a package waiting from my mom and inevitably these were included. I think one year I ate a whole bag in one sitting. what? their addicting!

What are some of your fall favorites?

I've been a bad blogger

Can't believe it has been over a week and a half since I last blogged. It's kind of like any other habit, that once you get out of it, the easier it is to stop for a bit. So for the sake of time and interest, here is a little catch up on the past 10 days...

Part of my hiatus may have been due to the fact that this came:

Those who know me know I can't say enough about Shauna's ability to put life to words in her writing. So there I sat, on a quiet little park bench in Zeeland reading away with the bubbling of the fountain as my soundtrack. My own little piece of heaven as I underlined and starred pages, filling the margins with my own pieces of bittersweet reflections. I will save my favorite reflections for a future post (or two), especially in anticipation of Shauna coming to share this fall with Grand Valley's Campus Ministries and all of the girls Stacie & I love there. It's going to be a beautiful evening, I can feel it already.

On the topic of writing, I have been doing a bit more of it, which is partly why my blogging is slacking. I have for awhile been wanting to put my heart to paper, to reflect on the past few years at a deep level and really get some of my journey written down. I have failed miserably at journaling during this time so I'm kickin it Doogie Howser style and typing away. I hope to someday share some of those reflections but for now, they are between me and google docs.

As far as life outside of words goes, Emily & Dennis came this past weekend, a wonderfully refreshing time full of lots of coffee on the couch and my favorite part of the weekend perhaps--antiquing. Emily requested that we hit up a few local spots looking for unique pieces to accent their new home which I know she will write about here....(hint hint)...

We had some great finds-- mainly right here in Zeeland at the new Not so Shabby downtown and Second Chance Designn in Holland. Emily also brought me the best kind of present, something I have been wanting to buy myself. Coasters from our creative friend Mandii @ Blue Eyed Pearl (also found here). She created a mix and match set for me and each of them are so beautiful and unique. I haven't taken a picture of them yet but here is one of another set from her etsy store. Go check them out- you will love them too!


And now here we are, on the front end of another gorgeous Michigan weekend and I am in my bathing suit as I write this, having spent a warm sunny day at the beach. It's about time for my bi-weekly Aldi run- oh yeah! Hope you are enjoying summer days as well.

searching for some quiet

*picture taken at Khirbet Qeiyafa- an archelogical dig dated to King David where the oldest piece of Hebrew literature was recently discovered speaking of righteousness & justice.


I have always loved moving fast, busy days and packed weekends. But since we have been home from Israel, something inside of me is longing for more quiet in my life. I think part of it is a maturing process taking place and all that stands between me and quiet is discipline of myself.

I can run miles and train for races, I can organize events and execute whatever plans are laid out. But can I rest and wait, sit and write and stop long enough to smell the roses?

I always think, "this week will be the week, I will get up earlier and spend a few quiet minutes." But then the reality of needing to make a lunch, making the mistake of checking my email in the morning and debating whether to scrunch or blow dry my hair eat away at those precious moments. I lose the chance to dig in deep.

The thing I am realizing, which may sound obvious but is an easily overlooked truth in my life, is that life and discipline are all about making little steps in the direction that we want to go. And to live a good story, those little steps count just as much as the big ones. The summer internship we are running with these high school students is reminding me that my charachter and integrity build endurance through the small choices and decisions, just like training for anything else.

For me, I am realizing how easily I can confuse a good path with the best path. I keep thinking of this image..."wide is the road but narrow is the gate":

*picture taken at Scythopolis on the main road (also known as the cardo)

I'm not trying to get all zealous and exclusive but I am finding that in my own life doing good things is not adding up to a better walk with Christ. It just doesn't cut it. It looks great on the outside but doesn't motivate the heart change I know I need when I find myself struggling with the same issues or lacking wisdom to make decisions. I am convicted that one of the things in my life that deafens my ability to hear the small whispers of "this is my way, walk in it" is my busyness. So I am making a concerted effort to guard time and seek quiet.

blogiversary 2.0

It has been 2 years since I started sharing my thoughts on the World Wide Web and I was curious in thinking through all that has poured out of me in those 2 years as to what some of the themes have been. So I took inventory and this is what I came up with according to my tags on my posts:

about me (31)
celebrations (17)
community (21)
friendship (31)
growth (21)
learning something new (17)
seasons (29)
simple joys (27)
worship (33)

A few conclusions from those numbers...I am trying to figure things out in my own life and relationally (aren't we all?) I have been sensing lately that it is important to know our own journey: to walk backwards into the future appreciating where we have come from (something we learned in Israel). I miss it, Israel that is. I find myself longing to engage depth but today something wonderful happened. I was able to live in the moments and not think too hard beyond the fact that I was enjoying sitting outside, enjoying good food and company.

I talked about movies and books; we laughed about past vacations and talked about those to come. I played with my dog and kissed my husband; I ate ribs with Sweet Baby Ray's and drank a great wheat beer in the sunshine on the deck. Nothing to analyze or debate, just a day to be enjoyed.

it's a small world after all

So here I sit at Panera Bread, finishing up last minute details (like the delivery date of my new dishwasher, who's excited?!) and closing a few Uppercase parties and who walks in but my once only blog friend, now real life friend, Sarah. Who was a real life friend all along of my bro can now be declared mine as of today. Life is funny that way as I stopped over to see Jodi (blog friend) on my lunch hour yesterday, facebooked with Amber today (blog friend) & ran into another blog only friend in a very random and personal place this week. Sensing a theme here?

I think authentic relationships for me really cross that barrier when there is face-to face interaction. I can and do love to share other people's stories online but there is something real about the flesh and bones of day to day life. It reminds me of Don Miller's book that I am smack dab in the middle of listening to...I am a little behind the times on reading "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" but am really connecting with the theme of story and how little of what we write about is our story but truly what we do charts out the path of our story. So when life goes from the pages, hard copy or web page, into the 3D of relationship, it makes the world a little smaller and life a whole lot fuller.

oh boy, this might be a long one

I have been feeling a bit melancholy this week. I think the reality of the emotional roller coaster of past few months has started to set in and I feel a bit tired even physically from carrying it around in my mind. I read a quote today from Shauna Niequist's new book, Bittersweet (Kate, I know you can't wait either!) and it gave legs to the thoughts running around in my head:

When life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate, and when life is bitter, say thank you and grow.‘

The only bitter taste in my mouth might be mine. I have experienced the depth of forgiveness, both mind and others, through really specific and hard passages in John 8 and Luke 17 in the past month. I now feel like I am on the brink or maybe deep in (who can see out right now?) part 2 of this process of surrender in my own life as I feel the control I once thought I had is being pulled from my sometimes clenched, sometimes wide open hands. So as easy as it is for me to live in the day with flowers on my table these things are also there.

As for the flowers on my table, here they are:


Other things bringing sunshine:

-the music of JJ Heller, especially this song called "Your Hands".


-T minus 15 days until Israel. Unbelievable and I really don't know where February and March went. Either way, Stacie and I went on a gear shopping trip today and I am so thankful for her help because the world of Camelbak and hiking shorts and Smartwool socks is a foreign one to me. I never knew I could experience sock lust but there was definitely an everyday pair that got me pretty tempted this afternoon! I may have to dedicate a entire post to the world of gear in the near future.

-I have been doing a lot of dishes by hand again lately. I can't figure out why I haven't called the appliance people yet but as a result, I have made my way through almost the entire audio book of "The Prodigal God" by Tim Keller. This is the smartest way to "read" a book that I have never done before but this particular book is one where I wish I had a pen and paper taking notes and may have to listen to again to do so. It is all about how the story of the prodigal son is really about the elder brother as much as it is the younger prodigal in the story. Amazing ties to the cultural context that Jesus was telling the parable in and he is blowing my mind with the ties to the feast that Jesus is inviting us to as His prodigal sons and daughters, as well as the way that we are commanded to live now, not as either of the sons (wayward or self-righteous). I could say so much more but encourage you to read or listen to it yourself.

One more thing. We went to dinner last night with my grandparents and there was a moment in the evening when I felt like I was watching pieces of when Harry Met Sally. Not the scenes where they talk about pecan pie or fight about the wagon wheel but when they show clips of older couples telling their stories. If you don't know what I am talking about, you can watch it here. It was a moment worth capturing on film.

return to writing

I missed typing out my words this week. They found themselves weaved this week into conversations with so many good friends and journals and the pages of my Bible and some only ran through my mind. Choosing to not detail out online the things that are taking place in the life of my family, I will simply give the context that things are not right and there is much grieving, processing, and loving taking place.

Grief continues to be a funny thing in life that feels somewhat thematic of the past year and not something that I ever anticipated writing about or thinking about this often. A friend posted an article recently by Dan Allender (author and professor @ Mars Hill Graduate School) , entitled the Hidden Hope in Lament. It talks about how lament, both private and public are an appropriate expression in our relationship with God and how many times the Psalmist uses their own words to give us a model on how to do so. I also loved this acknowledgement in the article (read the rest of it here):

Christians seldom sing in the minor key. We fear the somber; we seem to hold sorrow in low-esteem. We seem predisposed to fear lament as a quick slide into doubt and despair; failing to see that doubt and despair are the dark soil that is necessary to grow confidence and joy.

I think that is so true, that we fear sackcloth and ashes and tell one another to pray about it. And I firmly believe in and have felt the prayers of the saints both in the past 7 days Yet, I also feel there is outward and physical response to grief that is part of the road to healing. As I continue to learn what that looks like, I am taking notes, literally. I want to see God's hand in the process and affirm that faithfulness. I also want to remember what things made sense to me so when others are in this place, I have a resource. Here are some of the things that have ministered to me this week (insert overwhelming thankfulness for all of my dear friends here):

If you have the inclination to pick up the phone or send an email, do it. This is something I always hesitate on doing but so appreciate them on the recieving end.

Send scripture in ways that can be carried (on cards, notecards, crafts).

Do normal things. Coffee. Magazines. It may seem trivial but normalcy is a gift.

Make meals.

Cry.

Understand the desire to engage but the inability at moments to engage as well.

Send packages.

Show up.

Gas gift cards.

PRAYER. on the phone. in coffee shops. in cars.

All of that said, I am fighting to see God's faithfulness because I believe it is that important and really looking forward to the wedding of a friend tonight who is getting remarried after 4 hard years. I will be DANCING it up downtown @ the reception and enjoying the celebration. Also will be rockin this dress (CLEARANCE!) & my new little headband with the silver flower...

how to make your coffee cheaper and other useful things friends have taught me

as titled, you can always make an enjoyable beverage out of very little.

Exhibit A: my friend Kelli always made her own "lemonade" by ordering water with lemon and adding extra lemon and packets of sweetner. Talk about making lemonade out of lemons.
Exhibit B: Dunkin Donuts circa 2007 I believe. There was my Chicagoan friend, Emily ordering a simple cafe au lait I believe and adding her own little extra shots of milk and sugar. You could call it the "grad student latte".

Making something out of nothing. like keeping ribbons and scraps to use in creating cards and wrap gifts. My friend Lisa says "everything has potential" and she is a real artist, selling paintings and everything, so I trust her thoughts on potential.

I connect with that thought, making much out of not much at all and acquire great hope in believing it is true for us too. When we are not much at all, He rises up and uses us to be the hands & feet, participating in redemption. And I love that. So here are my scraps, my pieces, the buttons and the pearls. Make something useful Lord. Surprise me with the outcome.

i want to light candles

My brother got me these beautiful chocolate brown pine cone candles from Pottery Barn for Christmas. Pottery Barn, the place I always want to walk through just to run my hands over the beautiful fabrics and pick up the candles and dream about how I would fill the shadow boxes. But what usually happens is that I walk out empty handed, feeling a little bit covetous. Truth.

So when I found the perfect place for them, one on my bookshelf and one on the side table next to the chaise where I do most of my reading & writing, I had a decision to make. To light or not to light. And I decided that even though these perfectly crafted little pine cones could stay in tact unlit, they are to be enjoyed and not hoarded. To enjoy things like candles and creativity and even deeper, relationships, and trust, sometimes I have to throw perfection out the window and simply allow things to be fluid and even messy.

I want to light candles and enjoy their warmth, smiling as I think about what a personal gift they were and how much more I will enjoy them lit.

plenty of thankful to go around

last night I had my high school girls over and they just knew when they saw the little pieces of paper and pens sitting by their place settings that I was going to make them write out their Thanksgiving list. Just 5 things, anything really. I loved hearing what was on their lists and was admittedly challenged myself to put into words what I was thinking. So here in no particular order is my list for this Thanksgiving.

1. a job with people I not only really like but love
2. my puppy who has kept me company on many lonely days
3. the realization multiple times in this year how short life is and even the beauty to be had in grieving & what it does to our souls
4. faithful friends who pray for me when they say they will
5. the fight within me to learn contentment, as many times as I fail, it feels like baby steps are taking place. 2 steps forward and one back is still one step forward
6. a hubby who loves me through thick and thin and the renewal of our friendship in this past year as we seek to move from living as individuals into one life together
7. family who is faithful to be there for anything and everything we need them for
8. this old house. I love this old house.
9. music and the way it fits my moods, help me worship and expresses what I can't
10. blog friends who are willing to put it all out there and share their experiences, I learn so much by reading others online journals
11. coffee, black coffee, coffee with hazelnut creme, the occasional latte, coffee
12. grace that I don't understand
13. the journey through the Bible we are going through with our small group & church, it is kicking my butt into being in the Word daily, something I could never do on my own
14. creativity and enjoying making things by hand
15. my wedding ring. I was asked the other day by someone when I was getting married and I was able to share about the joys of being married almost 5 years to another girl who was engaged

I know I don't have you at my dinner table, but if I did I would pass you a little paper turkey and ask you to make your own list...

dressing in layers

As I got dressed tonight to head out to the campgrounds that my family is staying at this week, I pulled on my current favorite jeans and a fitted brown tee. I decided the t-shirt just wasn't laying right so I layered it up with a tank over top that I always feel good in. It gives and hugs and lays just the way it is supposed to, covering the things I want covered and giving attention to the good stuff.

The funny thing about layering is that it doesn't change what is underneath, it just changes what others perceive or see. I think it is this way with the transparency of our lives as well. I was reminded this week in two separate conversations with friends that I easily place layers on the areas of my life that I am unsure about or working through, in the same way I wear certain clothes when I am in disagreement with my body. It's like I don't even realize, I just dress myself in a way that the things that are in process are covered up and made presentable and keep going on my merry way.

I don't want to be someone who is less than transparent in relationship, who doesn't have to make sure that every hair is in place and my shirt tucked in, so to speak. I want to be able to emotionally have my socks not match and my shirt need ironing, to let myself be seen in the process. And I think the end result would not be that it would all look and fit perfectly into a neat little package, but that I would allow myself to be transformed less into who I want to be underneath and more who Christ gave Himself up for me to be. Because of that we can be radiant, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing and I'm telling you, I would rather wear this than any layered look I can come up with.

Life in Fours

For Ryan, on our 4 year wedding anniversary.

When you are 6 years old, 4 years until the age of 10 seems like ETERNITY and there are so many things you are old enough, or tall enough, to do. Then you get to high school and those 4 years are jammed packed with bff’s and learning to drive, varsity sports and prom, and in the last of those 4 years, the biggest decision you have made until that point of where you will spend the next 4. College begins and 4 years of growing in new ways, with new friends and life in a whole different context.

Life seems to come in nice little packages of 4 until you are in your twenties giving a framework and a timeline of sorts for how and when decisions should be made. Then life’s gates fling themselves wide open into an expansive set of 70-80 years. A new perspective that is both freeing and paralyzing at times, not knowing what timeline should be set and sometimes missing the structure of the 4.

As I sit here on our 4 year wedding anniversary, I am struck by so many things that have happened in these 1,460 days and how thankful I am that this season of life isn’t set into a 4 year timeline. I love walking through life side by side as best friends and want to enjoy the next moment, days, and years together, open to whatever length the different seasons we encounter may be.

a new slight obsession

what started as a small simple journal...led to a website...and now I may never be the same. Forgive my dramatics but I just jumped on galison.com after purchasing one of their journals. Think Steven Covey (Franklin Covey) meets your junior high art teacher. brilliant. I have this little guy and originally bought it because I needed a place to record prayers and praises.

I felt like too much of life was just passing me by with small miracles, prayers, quotes, running in and out of my mind before I had a chance to soak any of them in. So I wrote in the front "prayers and praises" 2009 and found that it fits perfectly in my purse so I have no excuse for leaving it on my nightstand.

Last night I was reminded, in my Esther study (of course), that it is "for such a time as this" we were born. Esther didn't just happen to be born at the time she was, a Jew, in the palace and with an opportunity. She had a choice, to face her fear and to take the courage given to her. Those may have seemed like big moments and we can wonder how it might relate to our daily prayers and comings and goings, but I think God gives those to us day by day if we look for them. We spent some really meaningful time in prayer as a group and sharing small miracles that give hope. Those are the things that I need to write down, to keep in my journal and on my heart.

Just for fun, they also have a great collection of diaries with locks. If I were 10, you might see this one crammed between my mattress'.

giving myself flowers.

I love the flowers blooming in my yard that I may or may not have pulled last year thinking they were weeds. Or maybe they didn't even pop up last May, I am not sure. All I know is that right now in this time of fullness and joy and tears, they seem like a gift to me that I didn't ask for or even deserve. But there they are, blooming fully around me in yellows, reds, purples, oranges, pinks. just for me and my kitchen, and my desk at work, and my heart. And I pick them, and they come back, ready to give me more beauty and grace.

They feel like their own little miracle which I need right now. I remember devouring Sabrina Ward Harrison's first book and work of art, "Spilling Open". and then "Brave on the Rocks" and I know there are more but those are the 2 that I snuck away on my lunch breaks from Marshall Fields during a college summer to read.

There was just something about the way that she let herself spill out her words with colors and art like they were no lines between them. And for her there weren't. I don't know philosophically or worldview wise if we are in sync but I resonated then and still now with her expression and how she uses that to experience life. So today it is the tulips and conversations with friends that spill open in front of me. and whether or not I place them in a vase, they bring me beauty.

art

a few months ago now, we painted pottery one rainy Saturday afternoon. And for type A me, pottery can be a freeing yet hard thing at the same time. My heart cries out to do something messy and expressive and non-measured but my hands know straight lines and color schemes and staying within bounds.

Art can be defined in so many ways but "real" art is not defined by symmetry and obsessiveness and straight lines. Or maybe it is? Maybe art is a lot more about letting yourself be free to expression in whatever way suits you best. Eloquent word pictures like those of my favorite word artist, author Shauna Niequist, or beautifully flowing mediums spread over canvas like my friend Lisa whose pictures spot the office I work in. I believe both of these women to be real artists.

I am finding that it really doesn't matter what art looks or feels like to other people, art is first for ourselves, then for the community around us. I am even finding that to be true in the art of writing my thoughts regularly throughout journals and on this space. Even if the only set of eyes to view my words are mine, which I hope is always the case with the journals, the art comes first in the expression, then the interaction and interpretation.

on writing.

meet Allison, or Alli as I know her. Isn't she so cute? You wouldn't know it by this picture but she is due with her first little one, a BOY, in June! Lucky me, we have been friends since I transfer schools on a "whim" in 8th grade to FBS . According to her, the story goes that she asked if I wanted to sit with her on the bus on my 1st day and Miss Independent here told her "no thanks, I have homework to do." In some strange way, she was drawn to that confident 8th grade version of me...and pursued me yet.

I think I pursued her right back as many of my memories of that period of time include lip syncing every song on this album, (pre-Celine's Vegas Days)
spending countless hours playing MASH, making home videos, camping & looking for boys at the beach. She was the friend I dropped off minutes before totaling my car on the same night we found out that some friends from youth group had died in a separate accident. The friend who comforted me through my first real heartbreak (did he really dump me for a girl in fishnets?!) and the friend that told me she thought Ryan was the one because he was willing to challenge me in a way that most people wouldn't.

One poignant night this past June, over Coldstone & coffee, we sat on a bench downtown Holland and discussed our desire to minister to other women. Our giftings are so different, yet seem to compliment one another in a unique way. Would we write together someday? Would I manage the singing career that we pray would happen someday for Alli? Would we have a platform? Fast forward to this fall.

Through my short 4 month stint with the non-profit consulting firm this fall I became aware of Mentors of Ministry, an organization that exists to "encourage everyday women to live extraordinary lives." The more interaction with them I had, I was encouraged by what I learned and decided it might be interesting to bring Allison into the mix. Over coffee, (I'm sensing a theme with coffee translating into good things happening) they invited us to be part of their outreach to women in their 20s. We have begun this spring to share the everyday lives of 2 twenty-somethings who are to figure out what God is up to. I invite you to check this ministry out, not to give me props but because it is my hope that you will be encouraged to look for God in your everyday life as well.