desert song

This song is on my heart tonight, for those who are in deserts, for those who are feeling like they are in green pastures. This feels like a green pasture time for me right now, like God is blessing us left and right with His presence and peace as we walk in ways that sometimes leave me a bit uncomfortable. i.e. potentially selling our house 4 weeks before our baby is born. We had some interest yesterday and someone else walking through on Tuesday and I am learning to trust the process and not get ahead of myself.

That being said, baby stuff is about to come out of the woodwork and start taking over the house. This is the week that we had set to do that and I am SO excited about it, no matter what the outcome is with our pending move. Can't wait to see those little onesies and perfectly stacked diapers, hoodie towels and books lined up.

Back to my thoughts on the desert song; tonight at youth group, Ryan taught the 6th of a 7 week series on Abraham. I was reminded AGAIN of how God wants us to partner with Him. I have always thought of Abraham as full of faith, always trusting the bigger plan and have been learning that He, just like us, made plenty of mistakes along the way. Encouraged and hopeful that over time, we would follow closer to the path that He has set out for us.

"for such a time as this"

egm first annual women's retreat in review:

the digs: City Flats Hotel, downtown Holland.

the crew: Laura & I plus two of our high school students, sisters Alyssa & Katie who helped us with hospitality stuff for the weekend.

the other half of our team: Sally & Jodi who handled all of the registration plus emceed the event.

the lovely venue for our sessions: Trendway's downtown showroom which was literally right across the street from the hotel and perfect to hold our 70 retreat guests.

Our two speakers blessed us so much. Friday night we heard from Christine Mutch, who works at Cornerstone University in GR to disciple students. Her testimony of God's story in her life over the past 8 years was so touching. At the age of 28 she was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer and has now been in remission since that time and believes in God's call to live fully in each day. She also happens to be one of of Laura's college roommates.

If that wasn't enough, we came back Saturday to hear more from Marla Rotman, local coffee shop frequenter (takes one to know one) who is passionate about sharing her story of recovery and hope. Marla is one of the funniest people I have met in a long time and because she is also one of Laura's close friends, we got to share a room with her Friday night and stayed up until after midnight sharing stories.

We had some free time on Saturday to go downtown Holland and explore shops, catch lunch and just relax. We came back to end the weekend with what I think was one of the highlights of our time. We chose four women from Evergreen whose stories God has used in powerful ways and were reminded through them that sometimes going through times that are really difficult are later the things that God gives us to minister to others.



Overall the weekend really exceeded our expectations and I was glad so many women got to come out and take part in it. There were some new friends made, friendships deepened and lots of reminders of the great things taking place already in our community of women.

"And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?"
-Esther 4:14b

the break makes the beat

Confession: I take myself and my life way too seriously sometimes. I find myself wanting depth, depth, depth all the time and everywhere. But the truth is, we are meant to enjoy life in the small ways as well and this week I squared off with myself and looked straight in the eye my desire to lighten up a bit. This is all part of my recovery from the last season of walking through hard things and facing buried emotions in myself.

As has been a regular occurrence this summer, the summer internship we are running with 6 high school students has taught me and encouraged me and challenged my thought process in ways I didn't anticipate. Including this battle against only living in the deep end of life. Being with students who call "banana" every time they see a yellow car and challenge me to push ups before 9 a.m. don't often let me live in the deep end. But there are also portions of the internship, the teaching especially, that have given me perspective and growth and called me out in places that I need honesty.

This Friday was our final day together, after 8 weeks of relationships, growth, laughter and challenge. And I loved every second of it, easily one of the highlights of our (mine and Ryan's) summer. Part of what I have loved is the privilege of hearing perspective from leaders in the community and the wisdom from what they have learned along the way. I have felt so blessed by their own confessions, tears, and humility in sharing their stories.

This final day was no exception. We invited our friend Brad, who was also our teacher for our time in Israel to share some perspective. And after sitting under Brad's teaching for two weeks, I already was prepared to be encouraged. But what he shared was so timely and profound in a simple way that it spoke straight to where I find myself on so many days. He began with bringing out a drum and asking one of the students to play a few beats. One was fairly simple, the next more quickened and the final beat he played had pauses and variety. And quite naturally we all loved the third beat as it was enjoyable to listen to.

What made the beat was the pause, the break in between each tap of the drum that allowed the pronunciation of the sounds and the song being played. Brad shared that this is much like the beat of our own lives. When we drum away all of the time and don't give any space for a break, the rhythm in our lives is missing something as we pound away. Day after day, coffee dates and twitter feeds and facebook updates, spending time driving here and there, shopping for this and that. The rhythm of life.

To allow for pauses and breaks gives more meaning to the rhythm that our lives are making. What he was getting at is the idea of sabbath in our life, of creating rest and taking steps back. And it resonated with me as I engage in relationships and a career and marriage. All of those things that I want to focus on and create depth in. But sometimes the intensity with with which I bang my drums keeps me from that pause, to have time with my husband or to go for a long walk, to stay at home on a Friday night to read. Simple things yes, but I truly believe that Brad is onto something here and am I am thankful for the simple truths and encouraged to find more breaks in my beat.

what Easter means to me

I have grown up loving everything about the celebration and triumph of Easter from the packages of peeps in every color to fluffy dresses and the power of the music. And the more God does in my life, the more I am humbled and overwhelmed even by the power of Easter. So many times I focus on Christmas, when we celebrate His birth, the coming of Emmanuel, God WITH us but only through Easter and his death do we have God IN us. And that knocks me off my feet onto my face, that He came, died and now gives us the invitation to full life through the death of His son.

Last night we celebrated as a community at EGM through the breaking of bread and sharing a meal (an awesome potluck meal I might add) and I was really encouraged by the leadership choosing to help us walk through this Holy week by beginning with this. As Jesus shared the last supper in community, Remember me. Remember the times here and the things I have taught you, the way you have seen me raise people from the dead and the ways that I have loved. Remember me.

So as we go now into Good Friday and the next 3 days, my mind and heart might just explode at the fact that the veil was torn, that we are invited to be part of the
the story with this aim:

"But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light." I Peter 2:9 ESV

The same God who spoke the world into being, who created Adam & Eve, whose wrath caused a flood, whose love sent His son, who loved disciples like Peter who stuck his foot in his mouth and always spoke too soon, that God invited us out of our darkness. So I say, eat your peeps, twirl in your fluffy dress but don't dare us forget what we are truly celebrating this weekend.

counting my blessings

1) top on the list are these 3 flowers that a friend unexpectedly dropped off at the office yesterday with a little card with a cute birdie.

2) then came an email from a dear friend with this subject line:
Peace and this quote:
"It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart."

3) A mid-afternoon coffee date with a friend whose marriage is being restored and healed in powerful ways.

4) A 45 minute drive with my hubby to a family birthday party, great conversation

5) Last but not least, my dishwasher seems to be on the mend, I was washing by hand for about a week and a half and thankful when I come home that my sink isn't full.

What are you thankful for today?

Singletasking

I read an article this week in an old edition of Real Simple that intrigued me. The author committed one month of his life against multitasking. No MULTI-TASKING you say? How on earth in days of days of blue tooth-so you can drive and talk, tabbed browsing- cause you can’t just look at one website at a time, and drive through lattes could this be a good thing.?

And I asked myself, Self, "when was the last time you did just one thing at a time?" When I’m in the shower I think about my day and the lists I can make in my head. Driving to and fro I am on my cell phone or planning things, while making breakfast I think about the dishes to wash and the shirt to iron. I don’t do just one thing well.

This is not to say I have the whole “multitasking” thing licked. By no means; in fact, my version probably looks a lot more like inattention and distraction than it does streamlined process. But it was so interesting to me that I read the whole thing beginning to end and could feel the author’s life developing meaning in quiet moments as he chose to allow conversations and thoughts to happen when they needed to. So I decided to try it this afternoon.

Inconveniently and annoyingly Conveniently, my internet is not working consistently so I don’t have the option to flip over to the new arts website I became aware of. Pause my singletasking a minute for a little plug for Ambrose, a Holland based art/mentoring organization whose founder I sat by yesterday at the chamber luncheon. Check it out, especially if you are into custom tees or just want to be inspired. Ok, back to my one single task at hand. What was I saying again? Oh, yes, so my internet is down. And there is an emotional monkey on my back, an elephant in the room, that I needed to deal with.

I shut all distractions off, sat in my comfy chair and wrote. Opened up an old school word.doc and wrote and wrote and wrote. Ignoring the grammatical highlights and spelling suggestions I let it spill out. Something I probably could have used to do a few days ago but I ever so efficiently stepped around it with my multitasking until it and I were face to face.

And honestly, I feel a bit better. It was good in a deep way to submit my attention to one thing, to give in my focus and time. I realize we do not have the ability to stop our days and the things we need to accomplish to keep life moving but I think maybe once in a while singletasking could serve us well.

grief is like a tsunami

tsunami (noun):
a series of water waves that is caused by the displacement of a large volume of a body of water, such as an ocean.

I have heard the phrase "grief is like an ocean" before and I think it is true but even more, I believe that grief is like a tsunami. Let me explain. I was at church recently, simply making a trip to the drinking fountain and passed through the courtyard where the remnants of the luncheon following a funeral were still set up. There they were, bouquets upon bouquets of flowers sent for the family, pictures of a loving mom and friend, notes and tissues and programs and punch. It was all there.

And I was still sad. Not just sad again, but another wave of sadness rushed over me about this and this and this wave of grief in the past year.

I think the initial pain of grief is like a tsunami, a wave of catastrophic proportions that rushes in without warning, ripping roots and creating confusion. And after the water receeds you are left with clean up and learning a new normal and from time to time, there is a ripple effect, little waves lapping in pools around your feet or sweeping you up. But it is not without hope.

1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 (ESV)
Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.

how to make your coffee cheaper and other useful things friends have taught me

as titled, you can always make an enjoyable beverage out of very little.

Exhibit A: my friend Kelli always made her own "lemonade" by ordering water with lemon and adding extra lemon and packets of sweetner. Talk about making lemonade out of lemons.
Exhibit B: Dunkin Donuts circa 2007 I believe. There was my Chicagoan friend, Emily ordering a simple cafe au lait I believe and adding her own little extra shots of milk and sugar. You could call it the "grad student latte".

Making something out of nothing. like keeping ribbons and scraps to use in creating cards and wrap gifts. My friend Lisa says "everything has potential" and she is a real artist, selling paintings and everything, so I trust her thoughts on potential.

I connect with that thought, making much out of not much at all and acquire great hope in believing it is true for us too. When we are not much at all, He rises up and uses us to be the hands & feet, participating in redemption. And I love that. So here are my scraps, my pieces, the buttons and the pearls. Make something useful Lord. Surprise me with the outcome.

this is my friend...

You remember her...the one who so lovingly met with me for coffee every other week to hear about my woes and throes of changing a career and returning to the same one. Many a latte on that topic. The one who inspires with her love for words and beautiful things in daily life like napkins, and journals, and planning teas. The one who loves Michigan lake towns as much as I do and could spend a day being charmed by Petoskey or Saugatuck or St. Joe any day of the week.

And that is exactly what we did last week when she was in town for Christmas. We squeezed the whole equation of time from the fall into one long day where we had no plans but to enjoy. So after a simple brunch at my house, we made our way to JP's for hours of conversation and people sighting...including our good friend Kate, who just so happens to be one of Christina's other closest friends. And we had to document that of course:


The rest of our day was spent window shopping, laughing, reflecting and just simply enjoying being together in one of our favorite little down towns. Thank you Christina, for the life your friendship continues to give me, even now that you have followed God's call to North Carolina. so blessed.

corner's offering

Every month our church does something called our Corners Offering which is our response to God's call to care for the poor as they did in the times of the Old Testament by leaving the corners of their fields unharvested for the poor to harvest. Every Sunday, each person is asked to place just a $1 in the corner boxes & this Sunday a view was shown to convey the mission of December's corner offering, The Advent Conspiracy.

I was reminded of and challenged by the thought that so much of this season turns into stress, debt, busyness and how easy it is to reduce those things and bring back to the center worship & truly giving of our time and our resources. Check out this video to learn more about what his group is doing and the difference a little bit can make in getting water to people all over the world.

lessons on how to love

Last Wednesday morning we had the joy of something that happens from time to time in our office. After our normal meeting, we invited some special guests who are participating in ministry around the world into our space. And what unfolded was such an encouragement. The couple whose story was shared spent their first 20 years of marriage working overseas, translating the Bible into a language that was never before written.

When they returned home, one of the first things they did was go to a grocery store in Miami & the girl at the checkout asked them "paper or plastic" and they thought she was asking if they were paying with cash or credit. Funny story, yes, but at the same time, a realization of how much life took place in the 20 years that they were overseas. There were so many awesome testimonies that they had to share but also some really practical resources as a result for those who are back home, praying for them and supporting them. Some of the things they shared really surprised me and reminded me that I too easily assume I know what people need.
Here are a few of the things that were surprising...and helpful:

-find out what kind of software upgrades are needed and mail a copy
-Send local newspaper stories and even cartoons to your friends overseas, reading about things that are familiar will be interesting and fun for them to read
-make sure to include them on your invitation list for weddings, graduations, baby announcements, even if you know they cannot attend the events, they love to be included
-decaf coffees & teas are often hard to find overseas and are easy and light to mail
-encourage your missionary friends with devo books written in English, they probably don't have the same access to those as you do at your local Family Christian Store

Taken from "65 Ways to Love & Encourage Missionaries"- Ed & Linda Speyers

I know for me it is so easy to get wrapped up in the day to day of my own life and I am always encouraged to hear about what is going on to advance the gospel in other parts of the world. So here are a few ministries I know of and would love to hear from you on others you read about/are praying for. Feel free to add to the list below: