endings and beginnings

I just updated my profile on facebook (what better is there to do when you wake up 4:45 a.m., right?). I hadn't thought about doing it in advance but noticed that it displayed my work information from February 2005-present and I simply updated the end date to May 2011.

A post was then generated reading "Rebekah left her job at X (insert company name here)". It felt a little final to see it written like that, very cut and dry. I suppose it is and I truly am done after my 8-5 today; for now, until who knows when. Or what for that matter. As much as I really do love working, being part of a creative team and finding creative solutions, I think I am about to find that this isn't the end of my working. This is simply a transition into a whole new job title. One that doesn't have vacation days and bonus' that pay in dollar signs but one that grows and develops me in new, challenging and beautiful ways.

It has been a very interesting and fulfilling process sharing with some of my favorite clients that I won't be returning. It is meaningful to see the depth that I have developed over the past six years and to hear their encouragement towards stepping into the role of being at home for this season. It's also nice to know that my work has been appreciated, that I have somehow, in some small way, added value to their world in light of their finances. I never anticipated to be in the financial industry, discussing 401ks and wealth planning but I am so thankful for this time and what it has given me personally and professionally.

I kind of wonder where it will take me in the distant future, even in light of being able to share what I have learned with friends. I have found that finances and investing are a very intimidating and personal topic for so many people which means we avoid them with vigor. I would love to know that my experience could make it a little less scary for one or two of my friends to make wise stewardship decisions (insert plug to email me with any questions here).

All of that said, I'm happy to turn in my "worker bee" badge for awhile and venture into this unknown territory because it is the path I believe God has set out for me in this season. I don't know what to expect but as with anything, I hope I can take it one day at a time. Looking forward to my Friday at work, including the "farewell fiesta" my co-workers have so kindly organized. I hear there is going to be a major Mexican feast followed by ice cream cake so you know I'm there and Ryan is joining us for the festivities as well. More to come.

simple joys

There is nothing like a night at home with this guy laying by my feet:

Adding to that joy by:
watching a movie on my laptop, in bed
eating a night snack of an orange (of course) and some animal crackers
feeling cozy while a major spring storm is brewing outside my window

Especially enjoying the relaxing after a full weekend of showing the house and being blessed with more showering of love for our babe. Sunday was the last of our showers before baby and I can honestly say I have enjoyed each shower in their own ways. Sunday was special because it was thrown by my aunts and included great grandmas & great aunts as well. Here are a few pics from the celebration:

the great grandmas

Auntie Chris & Aunt Karri

the momma and her momma

the moms & their girls

They also included the verse below in the celebration and after how much the picture of sheep meant to me from Israel, it was really meaningful. My Auntie Chris made up a magnet with this verse for everyone to take with them as a reminder to pray for us. The thought of walking this path of parenthood and knowing others are praying for us in this way is a huge encouragement to me.

He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young.
-Isaiah 40:11

If that weren't enough joy for one day, we found out when we got to youth group that there was a surprise shower planned for our night. Laura & Kelsey got a delicious cake, planned all of our games for the night around baby relays (like eating baby food, drinking coke from bottles, etc) and they blessed us with 4 packs of diapers!

Loved this picture of us because it really seems to capture us, right where we are in this season. Including the fact that I have been wearing those earrings and that necklace almost every day for the past few weeks in effort to even out my growing belly, purely based on the rule that the bigger you are, the more freedom you have to wear larger accessories!

Poor Ryan, this was the only shower he got to attend & the one gift he got to open was diapers. He seemed pretty excited though, maybe the practical side of him as a guy knows how helpful they will be!


So so happy and appreciative that all of the people we love are walking with us but it just makes these nights at home that much more valuable. This guy is waiting so it must mean it is time for bed.

heavy-hearted and hopeful

Sometimes life comes at you in ways you don't expect and leaves you with multiple layers of emotion to process. This week has been one of those as the title of this post indicates. The last two days have been heavy-hearted in many senses as we lost a member of our extended family unexpectedly at the young age of 43. I don't think loss is EVER easy but it grief always feels deeper to me when it is mixed with elements of shock and tragedy.

Combine that with our plan to show the house today, about which I am hopeful, and you have a concoction of mixed emotion. All I can say is that I am thankful for Ryan's steadiness, a family that is coming together, God's word and deep breaths. And for timing, I can't forget to mention that thought because if all of this would have happened a year ago with the house, the joyful arrival of this little baby and life mixed in, I think it would have been a whole lot harder.

I have also been thinking a bit and have been asked by a few close friends about how I am feeling about potentially leaving this house that I love very soon. Maybe it will hit me harder than it has when the time actually comes and there are more sleepless nights mixed in but for now, I truly just know I have to take this one day at a time. I think the words that come to mind are "exchanges" and "better things". Let me explain. I am learning that it means more than a house could to have unity in our marriage with what we know God is doing. That the exchange of living here in order to live closer to the place that Ryan will spend 8-10 hours a day so we can have him around more is a worthy one.

I do LOVE this house, what it means to us, how it expresses us but somehow even having Christy take pictures here last week made me feel like it will be preserved in my mind and heart, that the season spent here will always be special to me. I can also say that continuing to read through the Old Testament (slowly but surely) has been a really big reminder to me of God's faithfulness towards His people then and now. Holding on to that today as this is the view outside my window:

a few more favorites

I keep looking at our pictures and feeling happy knowing that this time was captured so perfectly, in this house, and with images that reflect where we are right now. I can't say enough about Christy's kindness in blessing us by giving these pictures as a gift to welcome the next chapter in our life.


I love these next two because they capture our personalities when we are just at home goofing around with each other. Maybe it is because we don't have a tv or are just silly but it did seem pretty natural to just play with our two little wooden sheep that we got in Israel. On a more sentimental note, these little sheep are special to us because they are made from olive wood and were purchased in Bethlehem. They sit on our dresser and serve as a reminder to be faithful in walking the path God is calling us to.

moving forward

Yesterday felt like a big day.

In fact, many days right now feel kind of big as decisions are being made and major changes are nearing. For starters, within the past few weeks the conclusion has been made that I will be a full time at-home momma with this little one. I am thrilled about it and feel so incredibly blessed and also a bit surprised that this is how it has all played out. I was hopeful to have the decision made by March 1st for the sake of planning and for preparing my own emotions and heart either way. After many conversations sprinkled with prayer and perspective, it became clear on the last Friday in February that this was the right decision for us in this season.

I'm sure I will write or process more about it later but for now it just felt important to note on the list of "big things". The biggest thing, the yesterday thing, is that our house is officially ready for showing and as weird as it feels to write "for sale", it's time to get it on the market. At 7 1/2 months pregnant it hardly feels like time to do anything besides sit with my feet up and continue to eat oranges in bulk but in all honesty, we feel really confident and comfortable with continuing to move forward. We have NO idea if it will sell quickly, if we will be here for the summer or even for the next year.

I'm excited, nervous, curious, everything in-between, and forcing myself to take one day at a time. I would have never predicted everything that has happened to this point so I know I can't imagine what is next. I will have to take a picture of the pseudo nursery set up downstairs as I had my first shower last weekend and still needed some places to fold & refold cute little onesies, handmade items and lots of other fun tiny things. As the time nears, those things will find a real home but it felt important to have them presentable (yet accessible) for the listing process. *I can't wait to write more about the sweet shower and as soon as I have some pics, you better believe it will be chronicled here!

For now, here are some pics of Home Zweet Home:

Lent, lucky green and in between

I started the day in my closet looking for something that felt springy yet still fit and came up with the option above. It certainly looks a lot different than it did in that picture (reminiscent from our youth group square dance in September, the week before I found out I was pregnant). Only when I got to the eye doctor today did I realize that it was St. Patty's Day and my ever growing belly was covered in green. Lucky me.

For the sake of festivity I was happy but even more for the sake of rotating a few more pieces into the winter wardrobe as this gorgeous weather makes its way into our days. Which leads me to my next thought; that any other year on a day like today I would have been out pounding the trails and although I got some new running shoes last week, they will not see much more than walks and waddles for a good 3-4 months. Which is truly ok with me but it did feel good to know that the runner's itch that is on a longer-than-usual winter hibernation just may reappear.

Lots of things on my mind as of late that are making the days move quickly and the largest being that we are going to officially be listing our house for sale this weekend. Feeling a lot of peace about the decision and letting it all play out as it will but it has meant a TON of little projects, organization, paint touch-ups, etc. Ryan has willingly stepped into a major role of handyman, painter, sorter, all things that he doesn't naturally love but I think we both sense that after this little one comes, those things will NOT be on the priority list for a while. We are going to be listing it for sale by owner for about a month. If there is no movement in that time, we will take it off for a while while we get used to being parents and then likely list it with a realtor.

But, if you know anything about me, you know I LOVE this house; its' story and its' character. I believe it would be a great home for a little family with its charm and the life we have given it. I say this because I believe it has been and continues to be a gift until God moves us somewhere else. I think it will be a bit of bittersweet when that time comes; fully knowing and trusting it to be the right thing but also always cherishing these days in our first home.

The other thing that has been moving around in my brain in the past week has been the beginning of Lent and the movement towards Easter. I originally had decided not to give anything up for Lent but then realized that the thing that is really lacking in my life right now is free mental space. I haven't realized how to to get there yet but one of the things creating extra noise in my life is technology. So as silly as it sounds, until Easter I am going to read less blogs and reduce my amount of facebook time/use. I am hoping that in exchange, more of the noise I am taking in pertains to what really matters in my life and that it even includes some silence or rest.

And finally, because today was full of funny moments from the St. Patty's Day realization on, this van was in the Target parking lot this afternoon:

It totally made me think of Dumb & Dumber and I couldn't help but share. Happy Friday to you from this little happenstance leprechaun.

my day off

Well, sort off. I have been anticipating today for about a month now as a day of major spring cleaning around here. So even though I have the day off, I am filling it with all kinds of cleaning that this organized, yet not into deep-cleaning girl, is not used to. I'm glad I am doing it now because I can't imagine where you put a belly that is nine months pregnant when you scrub your bathtub! And can you get carpal tunnel from scrubbing? I sure think so!

I realized that there are things that I cleaned today that I confess, have not been done in the five years we have lived in this house. I won't tell you what but just know they are major so if you have stayed at my house and seen them, I'm sorry! My companions today are double in number, due to the fact that we are dog sitting for my parents for another day or so. These two aren't any help to my cause:

But they are cute and I am glad someone is taking a nap!

Knowing that today was set aside for such activities, I fully soaked up the weekend and Saturday was blissful on a few levels including being part of Molly's shower. It was such a sweet time with the women that love her, a group from all pieces of her life. I think we are kindred spirits in many ways as we anticipate the arrival of our little ones exactly two weeks apart from one another. We love the little details of ribbon and words and her shower reflected exactly those things, so fitting for Molly. One of my favorite things was the fact that this scripture was incorporated into the time.

We had to document this time in both of our lives with a few pics of course! (notice that we are both rocking the same Liz Lange jeans from Target). Here we are at 30 weeks and 28 weeks:

lists, leftovers and longings

I know I am few days late on my Thanksgiving list but I think we can always practice thankfully thinking, hence my blog name. So here are a few items that made the list this year as we had the chance to write a few on a brick & build a monument of thankfulness like we do each year at our church's Thanksgiving service.

--our new niece born just two days before the holiday
--the chance to be parents together--so thankful for this one!
--our trip to Israel this year and how much it impacted us

I always love to see the bricks stacked one upon another, a physical representation of God's faithfulness in a year filled with so many with struggles and joy for each family represented. It felt good to be able to see the pillars of goodness build something substantial out of corporate thankfulness.

After the Thanksgiving meal itself was enjoyed, we spent the majority of the last few days at home with quiet space to craft, wrap a few presents and all the while enjoy the fruits of others' cooking labors....leftovers! Quite possibly as good as the first time around. I keep thinking about this time next year, of how different it will be to have a little baby around and quite honestly, I can't wait!

weekend update

This weekend I determined two of God’s gifts in this season of my life:
sleep
carbs

In no particular order, both are better than ever, even in the second trimester when it is no longer about surviving days. I officially slept over 12 hours on BOTH Friday & Saturday evening and when I wasn’t sleeping, enjoyed a great date night out with Ry-one of the first in a while it seems where I haven’t begged off plans in exchange for sitting side-by-side on the couch. We lived it up and split our favorite burger, the Whiskey River, at Red Robin where I forced myself to also order a side salad to compliment the fries and other goodness.

I have thought about, looked at, despised, loved and been sick of food in general over the past few months more than I care to admit yet at the same time, there is something in me that is committed to nurturing this baby well, with an occasional burger here and there, but balancing those out with good things. I have always been interested in healthy eating but I think this little one is helping me heal some places that don’t know boundaries with food and it’s amazing to me how my body keeps telling me what I need. In addition to the great food, we just had a fun date together and it felt good to be out, enjoying time with my hubby. I haven’t thought about yet the MAJOR changes that having a child will evoke in our relationship specifically as much as I have thought about how he/she will change our life. Thankful there is a 9 month period from beginning to end to prepare and learn some of these things together.

As far as the rest of the weekend, on Saturday we dug into some more home projects and by that I mean Ryan dug into some home projects and I ran to get Subway for the workers and did some minor yard work. I also got to spend a few hours with my little nephew Lucas while his momma ran some last minute errands before sweet pea arrives TODAY! I finally get to become an aunt to my little niece this afternoon and God is so good. After the loss that Rochelle and Steve have been through, I am so happy and thankful to meet their healthy little girl. I can’t wait to get the call and hear all about her- I’m sure pics are to follow after we visit her tonight and next Sunday we will be doing a postponed Thanksgiving celebration with the whole fam including this little one- so much to be thankful for!

Sunday was more good stuff; church and then on our way out, literally as we were driving out, some friends rolled down their window and invited us to breakfast for lunch at their house with their 4 fun kiddos. We haven’t hung out with them in probably two years, and at that time they had two kids but have since adopted two more from Ethiopia so now have two boys and two girls, who taught me to play golf with skip-bo cards and made us laugh over a feast of French toast made with bagels, hashbrowns, bacon and scrambled eggs hot off the griddle. I also got a chance to sit at the kitchen counter with Tami after the meal and over full mugs (decaf) talk about life and friendships and everything in between. I have a feeling these next few weeks will fly by as we cruise into the holiday season and I’m looking forward to more weekends of sleep, carbs and whatever else is to come.

comings and goings

In retrospect, the last two days have been such good days. I mean that in the simplest of ways really as they were normal and included things like work and laundry, waking up in the middle of the night several times (insomnia already!?) and forcing myself to do something active.

What made them great though were the people I shared them with. Last night playing Mexican train dominoes over pizza & ice cream with hot fudge with two girl friends, this morning pancakes and coffee with Allison in the quiet of her kitchen, and tonight hosting friends with Ry for a simple meal of chicken tacos with lots of little bowls, my favorite kind of meal. I feel like I am starting to recognize the ways in which my efforts to make a quieter life for myself are paying off and the value of making choices I feel good about in regards to time spent with people and time spent alone. It seems like when life was barreling forward at higher speeds, I was able to see the blessings but not soak them in as freely as nights like these. I was always thinking of what was coming next and wasn't able to look backwards at the everyday moments that make up something that matters.

So tonight, what matters to me is that Katie and I sat at the table and got real, about things we are learning and things we are struggling to learn. And it matters that as I type, Ryan is sitting in the other room, sharing our home with a friend like we haven't in a while. I'm learning, again, that hospitality is less about our dishes and menus and more about allowing people to have space in our homes, to feel like they are welcome here and that they have an invitation to be where they are.
So I guess what I am trying to say is that the last two days, I was on the receiving end and the giving end and thankful for both.

epicurious: fresh eating?

Ok friends, I realize, I have not posted pictures in a while. And I think posts are 100% better with visual aid so I am happy to say I got over my "but then I have to upload them and everything" phase for the sake of displaying my thoughts this evening.

I have found myself involved in more than one conversation as of late about the film Food Inc, eating locally by participating in a community share garden and food in general. The last one is nothing new, I have always loved the topic. However, I am starting to become more curious about what pursuing more local eating would look like. Even on the level of making a more concerted effort to get to the farmer's market to get these weekly:

I'm trying to be reasonable here, after all, it was only a short 3 or 4 months ago that I first publicly confessed a new love for McDonalds. But something in me says that eating fresh ingredients and supporting local producers is a bit more sustainable love. So as I explore this interest, here is the outpouring of it that took place in my quiet little kitchen tonight.

Chopping lots and lots of veggies:

Tossed with lots of this:

And a generous amount of seasonings because I tend to underseason; I used salt, pepper, basil and a few generous dashes of the cute little seasoning below that I received back in February as part of Jodi's cooking demo party:

From there I shook it up, potatoes, broccoli, tomatoes, onion, carrots and all and baked for 45 minutes at 425, stirring a couple of times along the way.


I also took my shaking bowl, added a few more pinches of seasoning and tossed some chicken in there (my own shake & bake) and baked that side-by-side with the veggies for good measure. As much as I could live on carbs alone, I think part of this whole eating healthy things means balance so I thought that might even things out a bit. I baked the chicken for 30 minutes, covered with foil because of the blazing heat of the oven and it turned out great.

In other pursuits of health, the countdown is on to our weekend getaway to the cottage, one of our favorite places in life. 3 days until there is only a quiet lake, sleeping in, taking naps and hoping it rains so we have nowhere to go and nothing to do.

decorating by numbers

Before I count my way through my Spring decor, let me direct your attention to all of the awesome local recommendations that everyone is sharing here in order to get one step closer to a bag of Good Life Granola...no, really, read them. I promise you will get some great ideas of places near and far to visit! Feel free to add your recommendations until tomorrow night at midnight...I will post a winner Saturday morning!

Ok, on to the counting:
step 1: hang wreath

step 2: haul basket of goodies up from the basement including items obtained in the swap.


step 3 clean all surfaces--dust. no need for evidence here.

step 4 remember that you have hot rollers in...take them out and do your best Shirley Temple impression


step 5: incorporate items from the swap into current decor and create a different look from last year's Easter decor.



step 6: try Ikea table as a coffee table.



decide it is too small for the center of the room, so move it here.

and the finale, put spring duckies fondly referred to as Arnold & Cynthia out, truly marking the changing of seasons.

got stuff?

I like decorating. As mentioned here and here and many other places around here. And one of my favorite things about decorating is using the things I already have, recreating new pieces and mixing things up. So when I saw this post on one of my favorite decorating blogs, the Nester, the only one I really read, I started planning my own "swap meet" in my mind immediately.

The idea is that if each person brings a few items that they can't get rid of yet can't find a place for, we can all shop from one another's items to get some new inspiration without spending money. Fun right?! So here is that inspiration in action:
I am going to be having a swap at my house next Saturday, February 6 and have about 8 decorating divas planning to be here. According to the Nester it is ideal to have about 15 people for maximum swapability (my own word). If you live in the West Michigan area and want to come hang out, please let me know so I can include you in the details for the event. I'm looking forward to hanging out with Jodi & Amber, and wishing desperately that all of my out of town friends could be here because I love your style so much too.

Here are a few examples of my own swapping things out in my home to get your feet wet:
I love dollar store candles & filling jars with simple things I already have...and the bookshelf, that was being used for storage in our basement for the past 2 years. I literally forgot about it as a piece I could use. Kind of glad because then it felt so new.

my life as a homebody

here I am, Saturday night sitting with a glass of Crane Lake merlot (Michigan's version of 2 buck chuck) in hand and looking across the couch at my hubby while he plays new music for me on his computer and makes me guess who the artist is. Nights like these just can't be replaced. I think this is the "new" date night that never gets old.

It has been a good, at-home weekend consisting of not a whole lot more than a quick dinner out last night, a few loads of laundry, coffee with a friend this morning in GR at the Sparrows Coffee, Tea & Newsstand, and finally seeing "the Blindside" with my bro this afternoon. Now I am settling in for the evening with a new book that I will be reading through & discussing with a friend. Amazon just brought this one to my doorstep:

A Hole in The Gospel by Richard Stearns, the CEO of World Vision

I am in a season where I feel like I have time to read and process and I know I need accountability to do it so I am looking forward to being challenged and having someone to flush my thoughts out with. Any other good reads out there right now that I should know about?

i want to light candles

My brother got me these beautiful chocolate brown pine cone candles from Pottery Barn for Christmas. Pottery Barn, the place I always want to walk through just to run my hands over the beautiful fabrics and pick up the candles and dream about how I would fill the shadow boxes. But what usually happens is that I walk out empty handed, feeling a little bit covetous. Truth.

So when I found the perfect place for them, one on my bookshelf and one on the side table next to the chaise where I do most of my reading & writing, I had a decision to make. To light or not to light. And I decided that even though these perfectly crafted little pine cones could stay in tact unlit, they are to be enjoyed and not hoarded. To enjoy things like candles and creativity and even deeper, relationships, and trust, sometimes I have to throw perfection out the window and simply allow things to be fluid and even messy.

I want to light candles and enjoy their warmth, smiling as I think about what a personal gift they were and how much more I will enjoy them lit.

Christmas: the aftermath

The presents are opened, the goodies eaten and eaten some more, the miles traveled and the carols sung. And I am at home, exactly where I love to be. I am going to leave my tree up until New Year's day to enjoy the light of it in the mornings when it is still dark and too early to turn the rest of the lights on.

It is going to be a busy week of work but a slow week of evenings at home to continue the rest following the wake of Christmas. This year's Christmas Eve was especially sweet as my brother Erich wrote a poem 4 pages long, chronicalling every step of our annual evening together as a family. Christmas day and yesterday were full of more parties and the older we get, the more grateful I am for the gifts we recieve and time with those we love.

All of that said, I am ready to return to quiet winter days and enjoying our little home and time with Ryan while he is on his semester break until January 12 (which happens to be his 27th b-day!). We are headed out on Friday to PASSION: TWENTY TEN in Atlanta with 50 college students from Grand Valley as leaders with some good friends of ours. I am so looking forward to a few days full of being with students and from what I am learning, Passion is all about encouraging college students to live out their faith so there will be thousands and thousands of young people who are part of campus ministry in their universities represented there.

On top of that, I simply cannot wait to hear and be challenged by people like Francis Chan (author of Crazy Love), Beth Moore, John Piper, and participate in worship led by David Crowder Band, Matt Redman, Christy Nockels, Chris Tomlin...the list goes on. Feeling really blessed to have this opportunity and looking forward to the time away.

counting through the day

Cups of hot chocolate: two
Handfuls of marshmallows for those cups: I lost count
Times I left the house today: once
Hours of Christmas music as background noise: 4
Christmas cards completed and stamped: 68, woo hoo! they are on their way!
Chance of additional snow to contribute to this blizzard: 100%
Current Temp: 14 but it feels like -2 degrees F. I am not making this up.

Times I checked weather.com today: atleast 15. I think I have a weather addiction because I lost count

hope you are enjoying these wintery days by staying cozy and warm!

instead of blogging...

I have been camped out with this guy, doing crafts all over my living room floor for multiple nights in a row.

and trimming our tree, setting up my Nativity in a new location and adding a little Christmas flair to every corner



and who could forget the late night bundled up walks with these guys down Christmas card lane to see all of the lights and decorations going up around the neighborhood?