climbing

I thought about the difference a year makes on Tuesday when I climbed the thirty or so stairs to my now weekly doctor's appointment. Each week I approach those stairs with vigor, determined not to take the elevator until I have to. As I got to the top, huffing and puffing, I thought about the stairs I was running last year at this time.

Spring always seems to do this to me; to stop me in my tracks and make me reflect on the happenings of the past year. Maybe it is the fact that I am stuck between the slowness of winter and the anticipation of cookouts and flip flops that summer brings. Or maybe it really boils down to the fact that most of the major shaping that has taken place in my life over the past few years has been in April and May. (More thoughts on May here).

A year ago, Stacie & I were running stairs a couple mornings a week in preparation for the mountains I would climb in Israel. The year before that, we were doing the same, only in preparation for the Riverbank 25k Run. During each of those stair climbing seasons, I found sacredness in quiet mornings of driving to the beach and running in the early morning hours along trails, climbing until our legs and lungs burned.

I know I am only climbing stairs once a week now, which is exactly as often as I would prefer as this baby continues to take shape and take up what feels like every inch of me. However, I still have that same sense of quiet preparation taking place this month for the climb to come. In a physical sense, for the delivery of this little life and the joyful moments of meeting him or her and in a deeper sense as our life is shifting from "we" to "three". In my experience, sometimes the climb is really tough, excruciating in fact but the view from the top always makes it worth while.

A few of my favorite post-climb views:

we came, we tri-ed, we conquered

It is a very good thing I decided this week to remember my like for running because I sure needed it this morning. Temperature: 91 degrees, Heat Index 101 degrees as we began our team triathlon at 7 a.m. in Naperville. We all decided we love this team thing because you still get to do the carb loading, enjoy the experience of the event and without putting your body into a state of exhaustion for the next 24 hours.

I was so proud of Ry, his first race of any kind and he has been the spectator at more races than he would like to remember so I guess he decided it was his turn. He rocked the swimming, Evon killed it on the bike & ran until I thought my face was the deepest purple possible. And it was all worth it because we just checked the team results and we got 9th out of 30 teams! Oh yeah! I'm really not too competitive with anyone but myself but it was fun to accomplish something as a team. Now we are off to enjoy a block party complete with brats on the grill & homemade ice cream. Here are a few post race pics (the camera died before hand) but it's all good.

remembering why I love it

I think I had forgotten why I liked running, fallen out of love with it of sorts. It wasn't always a love/hate relationship; certainly something that I have had seasons with but for the last 2 years it has been a very strong passion and push. Until mid-May when I ran my first 25k, the big dog, the race I have hoped to run since I was 15.

After that day, I kind of hit a wall with running. It became something I should do, rather than something that gave me life in doing. So I took baby steps back, flirting with it and then finally giving it it's proper "dear john" and giving up my place in the half-marathon we do every fall.

But this morning, something unique happened as I ran through the Chicago streets of Emily & Dennis' neighborhood. I remembered why I loved it, before the training charts and the stopwatches, the timing my miles and thinking about paces. For a few miles I floated down the sidewalks, watching traffic and other pedestrians, in my happy place. And remembered why I love running and hope to keep it that way.

pacing myself

it was the day, the day I have been training for since January. And somehow, even though I was excited this morning, my emotions and heart burned in my chest with the sorrow and the grief of losing Kaden, yet the joy of God's goodness through this week to Rochelle and Steve. Their faith and hope are so strong and I am encouraged by how closely they are walking with God.

I usually spend so much mental energy the week before a big race thinking about my pacing, my hydration, what I will eat to prepare, what I will wear. And rightfully so, those things became minor details pushed to the outer corners of my brain space this week. But I woke up with a determination to go out there today and do this. Something I have literally wanted to do since I saw a fellow classmate do it when we were 15 years old. Some of the miles got really hard, if I am honest, every mile after 9 was tough today. It was actually quite humorous in retrospect because I really had myself convinced at one point that I should just lay down for a few minutes on the side of the road. what?!

Thankfully Ben & Stacie were there with me to shake that fog out of my brain and tell me to eat a GU and keep going. We finished in the time we hoped and there was a lot of space on the course to talk, cheer, pray, and just plain put one foot in front of another. Here is team EGM, looking our best before the race this morning:


I just got an email from our captain, Pastor Tom & it made me laugh because in the speed category we got 2nd place for the team category! Good thing they only take the top 5 scores...none of which my time was close to touching. but just for kicks, you can check it out here.

updates

I am headed into work this morning and time seems to march on, but I have to say I am very excited for the Riverbank Run tomorrow. Many hours and miles that have gone into preparing and this countdown on my fridge is now marked all the way until only 1 day is showing:

so today I hydrate, eat pasta, and wait. I'm ready to trust the training.

I also wanted to share that I would like to extend the giveaway that Torie and I have put together for Mother's Day. You can still enter here until Sunday night at midnight and please make sure to include your email so I can let you know when you win! Thanks for your continued prayers and love!

navigation for the soul

the above is the handheld GPS that accompanied me on my LONG run this weekend that took place in a different neighborhood, on different streets and by myself as we were out of town. I found myself at a few points in the run questioning my turns, and more than once wondering whether or not I was even on the right course.

I started thinking, as I often do when there is nothing else to do but put one front in of the other, of how hard it became to navigate when the paper in my hand got smudgy and I had no one to ask. See, when I am on my streets, I know where I am going and usually have someone to point it out if I am unsure.

A picture of how true that is in my own daily life course began to unfold over the miles. When I try to walk through life without knowing the Word (navigation for living) and life's next steps look a little smudgy, it becomes really hard to confidently move forward in any direction. And the picture went even a little further into thoughts about the dire need for community. Those around me can help be a part of that course, keeping me from dead ends and showing me the next turn at times.

So my question me, for you today is "What am I doing to get to know the Way and traveling that path with others?"

just a little something to get us through

Thought I would share this fun little ticker (you can make your own @ this site) to countdown to your next vacation, an upcoming event, holiday, whatever it may be that you are excited about!

Just a little something to get us Spring Breaker's stuck in the Midwest through this:

the path

We went this weekend to get Ryan fitted for some new running shoes @ Gazelle Sports, my hometown favorite. And I was trying my darndest to be on good behavior, to focus on the task at hand and sit still while we learned about inserts and orthotics.

But I can't deny that inside I felt like a kid in a candy store. Lollipops in the form of running skirts, and gu galore, not to mention those plush socks that are supposed to make your feet feel like heaven. And what is it about the "Life is Good" brand that transports me to a happy place?

I considered sharing some of the things that I wanted to hold and call my own but realized something about myself today. Stores like that communicate a very clear lifestyle and have an influence on me but no matter how much I pursue any one thing, be it running, or any other endeavor, it comes up short. Just like too much candy makes me sick, too much of pursuing any one thing besides God begins to turn life sour.

I have always loved the verse in Psalms 119:32 which reads:
"I run the path of your commands for you have set my heart free."

What am I doing today, tomorrow, next week to condition my heart and my mind for the peaks and valleys that come in running His path? Am I training in a way that allows me experience His freedom or am I sitting on my spiritual behind expecting to be able to handle hills and long races when life feels steep?

Think Spring

This morning I saw one of those flashing signs that they have at banks displaying the time & temperature and it read the following:
THINK SPRING...19 degrees.
Does anyone else think that is funny?! That doesn't sound too springy to me. But I will tell you what does:

-Training for Riverbank Run; I have done the 5k multiple times since I was 15 and this is my first attempt at the big guy. This is the biggest race in the area for West Michiganders so you are guaranteed a training partner or 2.
-changing a few decorations around the house (including this little bowl in my picture with the new eggs) which is always my internal indicator that I am ready for a new season
-friends fake & baking for Spring Break, I haven't given in yet out but not because of my conviction, more because of cost. Interesting emotions on the vacation front for me this year because I am self-defined vacationaholic. Meaning that I LOVE to think about, talk about, research, plan, go on, take pictures of and reminisce about vacations. In fact, this time last year Ryan and I were here with Emily!
However, I am really loving all of the mini weekend getaways coming up. This weekend we are headed to Chicago for Mandii's baby shower & some QT with Dennis & Em.
Next weekend it is up north with our great friends Justin & Jamie from church to the CABIN. Ah. the Cabin. Think Northern Michigan, the woods, windows lining the side of the house facing the lake, pancake breakfasts, euchre. What could be better.

So even if 19 degrees is what I get today, I'm thinking Spring.

Finding My Pace

Because of my love/hate relationship with training and running, it makes sense for me to think of how I am living in speed or pace terms. The past 3 years were for the most part a pretty strong pace, pursuing so many things professionally, personally and relationally. Let's say a 9:30 mile if we can. Feeling strong and pushing ahead.
But here is the thing I am learning. Without cross-training myself, ie. being in the Word, inviting truth & accountability, and serving others, I become pretty weak. I don't have the endurance it takes to walk through change and struggle without injury. Injury to myself in how I view myself at times, strain in relationships and an inability to persevere. Feeling like an 11 minute mile might be a stretch in these times. Here is the beautiful part; God came in and kicked my butt back into gear for me and I didn't even know someone was praying for me that He would.
3 weeks ago, today actually, I was working from home when my boss called me into work to let me know that he was going to need to let me go due to financial strain in the company. He asked that I type a list of all open projects and turn it in to him by 5 pm. So I decided that rather sit home and feel sorry for myself, it would be good for my mental health to visit my favorite coffee shop in Grandville...Bigby. Ah, the corner chairs, the steamy latte...I knew it would be therapy in some form or another.Here is where the story turns from a downer to unexpected blessing larger than my dreams can stir up. As I pulled into the parking lot, this is what I saw: Of course I was curious and actually remembered the one and only other time I had heard of the organization represented on the hummer. It was this past Spring when I was visiting Allison at her work at the Bigby on the E. Beltline. Hmm. I found myself asking the guy that got out of it if he worked for Mentor 1 or if he was driving it as a sponsored vehicle for the radio station also on there. He said the organization, I said "cool" and got my tall vanilla latte skinny and headed to my chair. As I began to work toward my 5:00 deadline, I thought I might just check out the Mentor 1 website. Before I knew it I was out of my chair to go talk to this guy, who come to find out is the founder & executive director. Realized he was on his phone and was a bit relieved to sit back down. Without even thinking, knew I had to talk to him, still not sure what about at this point seeing as I had been crying earlier and probably wasn't at my best. I suppose God doesn't require me to have my Sunday best on though so I went for it.
What followed was half an hour of great conversation; about where I had been and what I had been doing, about how 2 hours earlier I had been let go from an organization doing precisely what Mentor 1 would be looking for. It has been a pretty exciting 21 days since then, with it all coming together. When I got home that night, Ryan let me know he has been praying that God would do something to shake me out of my fog. My words, not his, but just that I would wake up and see all that is in front of me. I'm fighting uphill to do so; to make harder choices. To submit and search out true Joy and not my own happiness or comfort. That part has been pretty in my face with this transition. I am not in this for the money. Understatement.

And if that wasn't enought excitement, my VERY best friend got married on Saturday night to a man whom which I could not have handpicked any better. And it was the sweetest of affairs, a culmination of their relationship with vows from their heart and not a dry eye in the place. I loved every second of being part of their celebration; from Mexican food 2 nights before with Em (just like we did 2 nights before my wedding)to sharing the day getting ready and getting closer with Emily's sisters and the other girls to breakin it down on the dance floor. This is a picture of our delighted bride right before I BAWLED at the sight of her beauty!

Running, and Indy, and Bed Races. Oh My

life is good. In the past 3 weeks since I last wrote, I feel like alot has happened. Just to recap, we ran the Windy City through the effects of Hurricane Ike with the most rain Chicago has ever seen in one day. And it was a darn good time and decent run. My goal was to match my PR (personal record, one of those runner's world acronyms) from last years race and I ended up adding 3 minutes to that which I was still really pleased with. There is alot to be said about runner's highs and endorphins and I am continually thankful for the mental clarity it provides me. Keeps me out of a straight jacket.


The whole bag lady look seemed pretty darn appealing at this point after the race. Thanks Ry!

I left from Chicago headed East to Indianapolis for a week long conference at the Philanthropy Center of IUPUI. And let me tell you, I had pretty high expectations as Indiana University is a part of a 3 part iniative referred to as AIM in the Philanthropy World. AIM is a coalition between Arizona State, Indiana University and Grand Valley (Michigan) that is known as the authority on all things philanthropy from donor research, to board governance, to societal trends...the list could go on. And the week itself invigorated me for this new career in alot of ways as there were some great aha moments that came out of being in a room with executive directors, consultants and professionals for week.

Plus, let's be honest, 2 things I love, being on a college campus and "traveling" didn't hurt either. During my week in Indy I was blessed by dinner and a LARGE slice of mile high mud pie with my dear friend Bethany, a great night out at PF Changs with Emily's mom, sisters and ZOE! along with a home cooked chicken lasagna at my cousin Jenny's house. Honestly, I made out pretty good that week.

As I returned home I was reminded that Ryan had been preparing for a race of his own. A bunch of guys that have offices in our building (hah, I still love that we work in the same building) joined forces to take part in the bed races for the Columbia Arts District here in Holland. Talk about manly man racing. They declared a Roman theme, togas and all. It was such a riot and they were pretty hard core. Kinda cheated with their industrial wheels...but won every heat and took home the glory. Check out the
video .


Warrior mode. wish this picture had sound.



till death do us part....

Reeds Lake 10k 2008

Ah. the beginning of my late spring training. ok, maybe it is summer training at this point because July 1st is this week. How familiar it is, the early Saturday mornings, the feeling of the pavement and playing mind games to pass the miles. Let's not forget my favorite, the carb loading. My good friends from small group, Kate and Jamie, joined me this morning in the East GR Reeds Lake Run. The registration read "2 hills" but I think they should have mentioned the not so slight inclines present through the whole race. What doesn't kill you earns you a donut afterwards right?! (cinnamon roll with chocolate frosting for your information).

I am actively working to catch the running bug again after last year's season of ups and downs. My goal this time around is to focus less on performance measured by time and more by how healthy I feel. It is embarrasing to admit how bummed I was last time when I didn't achieve my goal at the GR Marathon. Sometimes my personal motivation drive works overtime and I get myself hyped up over expectations I have for me. I am working on it though with the help of my husband's regular reality checks and pride in me.

I guess I better go take a shower before even my dog won't want to sit by me from the smell of a Michigan muggy day run. Enjoy your weekend!