winding down

 

38 weeks and it feels like things are starting to wind down. Little clothes are being washed & folded, special date nights are taking place and we will soon have nothing to do but wait. With it being the first day of May, knowing this will be the month that we will welcome our baby boy or girl, I finally have a peace about the next however many days we have between now and then.

We committed ourselves to putting as much energy as we could into selling the house until May 1st which made it feel like a lot of little things needed to be on hold until today. Here we are now in May and there is a 50/50 chance that we could have a buyer in the next few days as we work with someone who is interested in our home. I feel good that we gave it our all and have to just trust that God knows the timing from here on out.

So, regardless of the outcome, I am committed to finishing my last week of work this Friday, putting my feet up, catching up on movies and books and praying for this little life soon to bless our family with it's presence. I also want this time to be full of moments with my sweet husband and our close friends. Ryan and I went downtown Holland on Friday night and enjoyed a dinner date & a redbox and jump started summer last night with our first visit of the year to Saugatuck with Ben & Stacie. It felt great to sit outside and of course, to get ice cream cones.

here are my plans for today:

what I'm learning

The past week has been one of the more emotional ones thus far in my pregnancy. It's like the hormone switch got cranked up a notch and I am reminding myself that this is all normal and part of the journey. Normal or not, I have to admit, I am more comfortable when I feel in control.

Which leads me to what I am learning. It is not easy to have a house for sale and be in transition when your body and life are progressing towards something you haven't experienced before. However, I am finding that the joy of having your husband as your best friend to walk it with and a few close friends who really get you make it ok. I'm learning that everything doesn't have to be perfect or designer or 100% how I want it to be a loving and Godly mom.

I could have said that before and believed it but I feel like I am really learning it in these last days as my desire to have everything in place increases. It doesn't mean I have full control of these crazy emotions or that I don't face fear but I really want to hold to the excitement of this time rather than any worry that might rise up in me.

Hearing the joyful news of Molly's little boy yesterday put a lot back in to perspective for me. I think first of all, realizing how closely she and I have been walking together in this journey and now here she is a momma which means I am soon to follow. But more importantly, how loved and cherished that little one already is. Not because of anything that has been prepared but because of the love that a little baby brings the moment they come in to the world. So even though I don't have everything in our house set up the way I thought it would be with the "perfect space" prepared, I am learning that the love we have ready for this baby will be all it really needs.

climbing

I thought about the difference a year makes on Tuesday when I climbed the thirty or so stairs to my now weekly doctor's appointment. Each week I approach those stairs with vigor, determined not to take the elevator until I have to. As I got to the top, huffing and puffing, I thought about the stairs I was running last year at this time.

Spring always seems to do this to me; to stop me in my tracks and make me reflect on the happenings of the past year. Maybe it is the fact that I am stuck between the slowness of winter and the anticipation of cookouts and flip flops that summer brings. Or maybe it really boils down to the fact that most of the major shaping that has taken place in my life over the past few years has been in April and May. (More thoughts on May here).

A year ago, Stacie & I were running stairs a couple mornings a week in preparation for the mountains I would climb in Israel. The year before that, we were doing the same, only in preparation for the Riverbank 25k Run. During each of those stair climbing seasons, I found sacredness in quiet mornings of driving to the beach and running in the early morning hours along trails, climbing until our legs and lungs burned.

I know I am only climbing stairs once a week now, which is exactly as often as I would prefer as this baby continues to take shape and take up what feels like every inch of me. However, I still have that same sense of quiet preparation taking place this month for the climb to come. In a physical sense, for the delivery of this little life and the joyful moments of meeting him or her and in a deeper sense as our life is shifting from "we" to "three". In my experience, sometimes the climb is really tough, excruciating in fact but the view from the top always makes it worth while.

A few of my favorite post-climb views:

simple joys

There is nothing like a night at home with this guy laying by my feet:

Adding to that joy by:
watching a movie on my laptop, in bed
eating a night snack of an orange (of course) and some animal crackers
feeling cozy while a major spring storm is brewing outside my window

Especially enjoying the relaxing after a full weekend of showing the house and being blessed with more showering of love for our babe. Sunday was the last of our showers before baby and I can honestly say I have enjoyed each shower in their own ways. Sunday was special because it was thrown by my aunts and included great grandmas & great aunts as well. Here are a few pics from the celebration:

the great grandmas

Auntie Chris & Aunt Karri

the momma and her momma

the moms & their girls

They also included the verse below in the celebration and after how much the picture of sheep meant to me from Israel, it was really meaningful. My Auntie Chris made up a magnet with this verse for everyone to take with them as a reminder to pray for us. The thought of walking this path of parenthood and knowing others are praying for us in this way is a huge encouragement to me.

He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young.
-Isaiah 40:11

If that weren't enough joy for one day, we found out when we got to youth group that there was a surprise shower planned for our night. Laura & Kelsey got a delicious cake, planned all of our games for the night around baby relays (like eating baby food, drinking coke from bottles, etc) and they blessed us with 4 packs of diapers!

Loved this picture of us because it really seems to capture us, right where we are in this season. Including the fact that I have been wearing those earrings and that necklace almost every day for the past few weeks in effort to even out my growing belly, purely based on the rule that the bigger you are, the more freedom you have to wear larger accessories!

Poor Ryan, this was the only shower he got to attend & the one gift he got to open was diapers. He seemed pretty excited though, maybe the practical side of him as a guy knows how helpful they will be!


So so happy and appreciative that all of the people we love are walking with us but it just makes these nights at home that much more valuable. This guy is waiting so it must mean it is time for bed.

desert song

This song is on my heart tonight, for those who are in deserts, for those who are feeling like they are in green pastures. This feels like a green pasture time for me right now, like God is blessing us left and right with His presence and peace as we walk in ways that sometimes leave me a bit uncomfortable. i.e. potentially selling our house 4 weeks before our baby is born. We had some interest yesterday and someone else walking through on Tuesday and I am learning to trust the process and not get ahead of myself.

That being said, baby stuff is about to come out of the woodwork and start taking over the house. This is the week that we had set to do that and I am SO excited about it, no matter what the outcome is with our pending move. Can't wait to see those little onesies and perfectly stacked diapers, hoodie towels and books lined up.

Back to my thoughts on the desert song; tonight at youth group, Ryan taught the 6th of a 7 week series on Abraham. I was reminded AGAIN of how God wants us to partner with Him. I have always thought of Abraham as full of faith, always trusting the bigger plan and have been learning that He, just like us, made plenty of mistakes along the way. Encouraged and hopeful that over time, we would follow closer to the path that He has set out for us.

work shower

It feels like these weeks are just flying by with the busyness of having a house for sale, a baby to prepare for and all of the celebrations in between. Last week my sweet friends at work threw a shower for me and it was such a neat time with women I trust and appreciate.

my female co-workers: Kris, me, Shanon & Lisa

The shower was at our office, the perfect space for entertaining and the guest list was made up of the women in the office and all of the wives of the guys I work with. Over the years, they have felt more like family than work acquaintances and it was really special to think about the fact that this group watched as Ryan and I got engaged, came to our wedding, journeyed with us as a young couple through the sale of the business and now in this stage of becoming parents.

Because Christy is part of that group and was there as a friend, she also took a few pics of the night. I told her I am starting to feel like she is my personal life photographer. haha! Love how she captured the fancy food and ambiance of the evening.





The whole theme was centered around our bedding. Which I actually stumbled upon during a quick trip to Target for something all together different. I wanted something gender neutral (obviously) that felt like "us", not something too cutesy but I really did still love the animals. My favorite part is the detail within the outline of the animals and Shanon surprised me with poster size drawings of each of the animals as decor for the shower. The giraffe was my favorite!

Here is a pic of the bedding pattern itself:


Instead of playing any games, they had each person write a piece of advice and they had to read it to me before I opened their gift. The things that were shared were both thoughtful and heartfelt, many sharing with tears about their own experiences as a mom. I felt so encouraged hearing from a Godly group of women. Here is the whole group:


Yet another night where I felt overwhelmed by people's generosity & excitement for Ryan and I. I love knowing that there are so many people who are almost as excited to meet this little one as we are.

too busy to blog

What a week. I can tell this baby is growing by leaps and bounds these days because it seems all of my extra energies seem to be devoted to that effort and by the end of the day, I can't wait to see my bed. Even if that means 9:30 and macaroni for dinner because it is quick and sounds good.

This week I thought several times about the fact that I was too busy or to blessed to blog. Meaning that between work, meeting with students I love and the oh-so-sweet shower that my co-workers threw me, I didn't have much time to breathe in between. I have been thinking a lot about this transition, from what I know now about being an employee and part of a team to the role I am about to step into.

I haven't written really about it yet and some days am surprised myself how the next stage for me is playing out. All of that said, I have no doubt that the moment I begin life as a mom, I will be so thankful for the opportunity to be at home with my little one. It has been an interesting journey for me, from thinking I would work part-time to realizing that with all of the other changes going on in our world this fall and the desire I have to find balance in all of it, the best thing for we three (four with Toby in there) is for me to be at home.

The next month will be bittersweet for me because I love my job, the team I have been a part of for the past six years and the clients that we serve. I also know that once we make the move to Grand Rapids (Lord willing) I will be so glad I don't have to figure out how to balance childcare and driving and Ryan being at school. I don't want to miss in all of this that it is a priveledge and a blessing to find myself in this role and know that God knows so much more about the next few years than I do. I'm excited and a little nervous, hopeful and dreaming about the days.

Our due date is one month from today and according to the doctor, this little one isn't coming any time soon. We took a poll this week and my prediction is that we will meet he or she (still not telling names!) on May 22nd, that it will be a boy and that he will weigh over 8 lbs. Can't wait to see how close or how far off I am.

In house news, I am trying to be brave, to trust the plan and prepare for another open house. I think this is where the rubber meets the road and it is a chance to trust God but sometimes I have to fight my emotions that seem stronger than what I know is true. Add hormones in there and you really have something to talk about. Ryan has been so steady for me right now and I am really glad to know we are doing all of this together, moving toward what we know God is leading us in, whatever that looks like.

I did notice today that the tulips that always surprise me are popping up in the yard and every year, they are a reminder of God's faithfulness. Spring always comes and it always reassures me to have that reminder. One day at a time!

more shower details!

Still smiling thinking about how great it was last Saturday to be in the presence of so many friends that I love. Michelle really was a great hostess with such attention to detail and that totally complimented the scene of laughter, story-telling and fellowship. I love my friends because I didn't even have to introduce them to one another; by the time I thought about it they were already chatting it up and getting to know each other.

Here are some more pics from the shower (including a photo shoot with each friend at the end):

adorable diaper cake!

The other April/May mommas: Amber & Molly


And the photo shoot begins!










35 and 37 weeks, a little different than how things were at 28 & 30 weeks (compare here)

A very special morning with memories that I will carry with me far beyond this baby being born. It feels like such a special festive time and as much as I LOVE being on the other side of a party, as in envisioning, crafting, planning, I am totally enjoying this season and am feeling so incredibly blessed.

showered & picking numbers

Yes, I do shower daily, despite what the title might imply :) From what I hear from my mom friends, I should enjoy that blessing while it is easy and I am not trying to manage a little one while getting myself ready. That was just one of the many priceless tips picked up yesterday at the sweet shower that Michelle hosted. Here is a picture of the whole group of girls:

So many great friends from different circles of my life, all in one room. More to come on the shower details from the games to the thoughtful gifts & cards, not to mention the DELICIOUS food. Cake pops anyone?!


I also wanted to mention that I randomly drew a number for the winner of the checkbook cover giveaway & Amanda is going to be paying bills and writing checks in style. Don't forget that you can still support Allison's trip to Liberia by purchasing one for $10 with $9 of it going to her travels. More info here.

Giveaway for a Good Cause!

A few weeks ago my friend Allison posted some pictures of really cute items to facebook & I loved what I saw. I figure until I learn to sew, I will happily support those who do!

Allison is going to be going with a group from her church to Monrovia, Liberia for 13 days this summer. Her talented friend Jen who sews has offered to help her raise some of her support by selling cute checkbook covers with 90% of the proceeds going towards Al's trip!

If you are anything like me, you have to look at a map to identify where exactly in Africa Liberia is. It is on the West Coast and here is a little visual:


One thing that is really cool about this opportunity is that their church does trips like this multiple times a year to Liberia, meaning that there is a partnership present and not just a one time experience. Allison will be working with a team to continue the relationships their church has built with teachers and leaders along with doing some ministry with kids. While she is in Liberia, she will miss her cute little son Will's second b-day which to me is a sign of how called she feels to be on this trip, at this particular time.

Here's a pic of the Kemmerer family around Will's first b-day last year:

As just a small piece of support for her trip I want to give one of the checkbook covers away. All you have to do to enter is comment with your favorite of the four designs pictured below by Sunday at noon!

Here are a few of the other fun items Jen makes and even if you do not win the giveaway, the checkbook covers are still available for purchase with 90% of the sales going towards Allison's trip. For info on the other items pictured here, email me at bekah_wallace@yahoo.com. Enjoy!

cute headbands, perfect for spring!

custom boy onesies ($12)

custom girl onesies ($12)

count by number 1-9 ($34 for rice filled, $23 for washable numbers)

flower pins that can go on a bag, a shirt, a headband. anywhere really. ($8 each)