more shower details!

Still smiling thinking about how great it was last Saturday to be in the presence of so many friends that I love. Michelle really was a great hostess with such attention to detail and that totally complimented the scene of laughter, story-telling and fellowship. I love my friends because I didn't even have to introduce them to one another; by the time I thought about it they were already chatting it up and getting to know each other.

Here are some more pics from the shower (including a photo shoot with each friend at the end):

adorable diaper cake!

The other April/May mommas: Amber & Molly


And the photo shoot begins!










35 and 37 weeks, a little different than how things were at 28 & 30 weeks (compare here)

A very special morning with memories that I will carry with me far beyond this baby being born. It feels like such a special festive time and as much as I LOVE being on the other side of a party, as in envisioning, crafting, planning, I am totally enjoying this season and am feeling so incredibly blessed.

showered & picking numbers

Yes, I do shower daily, despite what the title might imply :) From what I hear from my mom friends, I should enjoy that blessing while it is easy and I am not trying to manage a little one while getting myself ready. That was just one of the many priceless tips picked up yesterday at the sweet shower that Michelle hosted. Here is a picture of the whole group of girls:

So many great friends from different circles of my life, all in one room. More to come on the shower details from the games to the thoughtful gifts & cards, not to mention the DELICIOUS food. Cake pops anyone?!


I also wanted to mention that I randomly drew a number for the winner of the checkbook cover giveaway & Amanda is going to be paying bills and writing checks in style. Don't forget that you can still support Allison's trip to Liberia by purchasing one for $10 with $9 of it going to her travels. More info here.

bittersweet event

I have been looking forward to fall events since Stacie & I started dreaming this summer. We knew that it would mean launching back into the school year for her and sharing more stories and life with the campus ministries students that Ryan & I have been so blessed to fall in love with as well.

One thing that ran through conversations over coffee with Katie, Megan, Naomi, Michaeleen, and excited talks with Laura & Amanda were little snippets of wisdom that I recognized from a familiar voice, Shauna Niequist. It was like some type of sisterhood, realizing that an author had taken so many of our experiences and put them onto the page. That being said, when something came out on Shauna's blog about the book tour for her second book, Bittersweet, we couldn't wait to get GVSU on the list.

I truly loved Bittersweet in a way different than Cold Tangerines. There was something so much more raw and exposed in these confessions, on the seasons of life where it feels like you are being stretched and grown in so many directions. It felt safe, like someone else had been there. The week this book came out, Molly and I sat over coffee at JPs and I read her some things about friendships and rich relationships and Molly devoured it in the next few days and shared a few thoughts here.

I could say so much more but will leave it to you to pick up a copy yourself...you may even see a giveaway around here in the next few weeks as we look forward to having Shauna in a room with so many we love.

thoughts on contentment & friendships

I had the lovely chance to write over here this week. Thoughts on contentment and friendships and how the two go hand in hand.

the birthday month begins

I started writing yesterday on our drive home from St. Louis and here is how far I got:

It's my birthday and I'll drive if I want to. Here I am, 6 hours in a bucket seat. But you know, it's not a bad way to spend my workday part of my birthday. The past 3 days have been full of adventures and perspective.

Yup, I rang in 27 in a different city including 6 hours of it in a mini van. But it was worth it because I loved seeing a new place. The only thing that could have made it better was to have my hubby there. I thoroughly enjoyed the spacious digs that they put us up in at the Chase Park Plaza and the fact that all 4 of us from the office got our own rooms. Staying in a hotel never gets old to me, I still love getting ice, checking out the complimentary shampoo and reading USA today with a cup of coffee in the morning. The conference itself that we went for was great; I learned a ton of valuable information and met people that I have only ever talked to.

I won't bore you with the details of my learnings (although I think processes and technology are awesome...). But I will tell you that something about being in a city gives me life. I was thinking about it the first night we were there as the pavement pounded underneath my feet on a little run in the CWE (Central West End--the neighborhood we stayed in). I think it goes back to my original city love affair with Chicago. I can still remember being a little girl and looking up, way up, at the tall buildings when my Dad lived downtown. And there was something wonderful about feeling grown up in the coffee shops, lanes, shops and restaurants that is still really special to me. Ryan took me there the first summer we were dating, right before I left for my freshman year at TU & proposed there 4 years later. So that city has a strong heartbeat.

But I can find that beat in any city, looking up at the buildings and thinking about all of the diverse experiences, lifestyles and families that reside there. So St. Louis did not disappoint. Maybe there will be another trip there down the road with Ryan...for now, here are some pics of our time there:





I felt very loved on my birthday, starting with a 7 a.m. hazelnut latte from my friend Ryan that I work with & I also got some great texts & voice mails, including my Ryan & some other singing VERY off key.


When I got home, Ryan had the house all picked up and the dishwasher running- which was a gift in itself. He also had a great card & the promise of a date night on Friday in GR. can't wait!

PS.
I also thought a lot about writing while I was there but chose to soak up the nights by spending time with co-workers and watching TV on my pillow top king size bed. I have at least 2 more Israel posts I would like to share so bear with me as my processing spreads into the summertime. Sometimes life just happens faster than can it can be documented and I am learning the value of living each moment.

it's a small world after all

So here I sit at Panera Bread, finishing up last minute details (like the delivery date of my new dishwasher, who's excited?!) and closing a few Uppercase parties and who walks in but my once only blog friend, now real life friend, Sarah. Who was a real life friend all along of my bro can now be declared mine as of today. Life is funny that way as I stopped over to see Jodi (blog friend) on my lunch hour yesterday, facebooked with Amber today (blog friend) & ran into another blog only friend in a very random and personal place this week. Sensing a theme here?

I think authentic relationships for me really cross that barrier when there is face-to face interaction. I can and do love to share other people's stories online but there is something real about the flesh and bones of day to day life. It reminds me of Don Miller's book that I am smack dab in the middle of listening to...I am a little behind the times on reading "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" but am really connecting with the theme of story and how little of what we write about is our story but truly what we do charts out the path of our story. So when life goes from the pages, hard copy or web page, into the 3D of relationship, it makes the world a little smaller and life a whole lot fuller.

a weekend away: to Indiana and back

Ahh. What a weekend. You know those friendships where you drive in on a Friday night after not seeing each other for 10 months and you just know that it is where you left it and you won’t want the weekend to end? That was what this past weekend was for me.

Things were exactly where we left off with the exception that last time I saw Bethany she was 6 months pregnant and now her little boy is more than half a year old. But that only added to our conversation and connection together because it gave me so much joy to see her in her daily life as a mom. And her little guy Hunter is SUCH a cutie! We enjoyed lots of laughter, conversation, a movie on the couch, a walk around the neighborhood and best of all, a visit to our alma mater, Taylor University. It was such a welcome break to the intensity level in my life lately.

Good ole TU hasn’t changed TOO much in the past 5 years in some ways and in others it felt like the campus had moved on from us. I know, hard to believe. Very nostalgic in a familiar way that I can see Bethany, Emily, Kelli and I bounding up those stairs after our 5:00 dinner every day and running up and down those halls screaming about pick a dates and inside jokes and Crazy Tuesday (99 cent breadsticks and diet cokes). Here are a few pics but jump over to B’s blog for more.

What visit would be complete with a trip to Ivanhoes?! The grasshopper sundae (mint chip with fudge) tasted just as good as it did the million other times I had it during my years at Taylor.

prepare to be inspired

Within the past few weeks I have become aware of a couple new creative ventures so great I couldn't help but share.

First off, Sarah over at Auburn Street just announced that she opened an Etsy shop featuring her little notebooks and I can't help but fall in love with the way she reuses items that have meaning but no where to go. here is what she said about it:

"I draw my inspiration from vintage books, old maps, typewriters and vintage travel paraphernalia. My goal is to get the most use out of recycled materials - saving even the smallest scraps. " Check her out here:

Second, if I moved to Nashville, I may just ask this girl for a job to soak up some of her creativity...Maggie was a freshman on my wing (2E0 woot woot!) during junior year when I was a PA. She lived in the 3 man with Tiffany and Natalie and always had a marker collection to die for. After I moved to Holland, she was a student at Hope so we ran into each other from time to time but now she is putting her creativity to work by opening her own little store in TN.

follow her journey to the Grand Opening on April 17th here.

And finally, drum roll please. For all of those who know the word blogger and think about layouts and writing, 2 local girlies (one of whom is my friend Jodi) have put together the weekends of all weekends. They are calling it Gleek Retreat and it will be taking place next month at a gorgeous and nature filled retreat center about 15 minutes north of Holland. Think of it as a girl's weekend with goodie bags (complete with Uppercase Living gift cards from yours truly), a nature hike, awesome speakers from all over the US, wine, a sleepover and so many other fun opportunities to connect. Some people have creative memories, others make cards and knit, and some blog. Maybe that connects with those who craft in other ways. For those whose craft is writing, this is your weekend.

Always happy to have the chance to brag up my friends :) And best of all, I get to go see my dear friend Bethany this weekend and finally meet her little boy Hunter! so blessed!

channeling Julia Child

The 2 dishes to be conquered were as follows:
Ratatouille and Poulet Sauté aux Herbes de Provence
recipes found here and here

Saturday night my dear and brave friend Jamie & I faced our biggest kitchen challenge yet. 2 recipes by the world renouned Julia Child. We tied our aprons (more like I spilled on my scarf that I just got dry cleaned) and sharpened our knives.

A few observations from the evening:
- there is nothing quite like cooking with a glass of wine in hand with a good friend
- the complexity of the recipes may or may have not taken us over 2 hours to complete
- when it says "a whole chicken" you don't put the insides in. I have a gracious friend and a long way to go in the cooking world. That sure freed up some space in my pan
- "If you’re afraid of butter, just use cream"- a direct quote from Julia which seems fitting as inspiration seeing as there was over a stick of butter & 7 tbs of olive oil combined between the dishes

got stuff?

I like decorating. As mentioned here and here and many other places around here. And one of my favorite things about decorating is using the things I already have, recreating new pieces and mixing things up. So when I saw this post on one of my favorite decorating blogs, the Nester, the only one I really read, I started planning my own "swap meet" in my mind immediately.

The idea is that if each person brings a few items that they can't get rid of yet can't find a place for, we can all shop from one another's items to get some new inspiration without spending money. Fun right?! So here is that inspiration in action:
I am going to be having a swap at my house next Saturday, February 6 and have about 8 decorating divas planning to be here. According to the Nester it is ideal to have about 15 people for maximum swapability (my own word). If you live in the West Michigan area and want to come hang out, please let me know so I can include you in the details for the event. I'm looking forward to hanging out with Jodi & Amber, and wishing desperately that all of my out of town friends could be here because I love your style so much too.

Here are a few examples of my own swapping things out in my home to get your feet wet:
I love dollar store candles & filling jars with simple things I already have...and the bookshelf, that was being used for storage in our basement for the past 2 years. I literally forgot about it as a piece I could use. Kind of glad because then it felt so new.

this is my friend...

You remember her...the one who so lovingly met with me for coffee every other week to hear about my woes and throes of changing a career and returning to the same one. Many a latte on that topic. The one who inspires with her love for words and beautiful things in daily life like napkins, and journals, and planning teas. The one who loves Michigan lake towns as much as I do and could spend a day being charmed by Petoskey or Saugatuck or St. Joe any day of the week.

And that is exactly what we did last week when she was in town for Christmas. We squeezed the whole equation of time from the fall into one long day where we had no plans but to enjoy. So after a simple brunch at my house, we made our way to JP's for hours of conversation and people sighting...including our good friend Kate, who just so happens to be one of Christina's other closest friends. And we had to document that of course:


The rest of our day was spent window shopping, laughing, reflecting and just simply enjoying being together in one of our favorite little down towns. Thank you Christina, for the life your friendship continues to give me, even now that you have followed God's call to North Carolina. so blessed.

a weekend away

All of my Nervous Nelly weather checking paid off as I cruised my way down clear highways and over the skyway Friday night to see "The CITY", you know, Chicago! Emily and I planned a somewhat impromptu weekend of just hanging out. And although I could only stay for about 24 hours, each of those hours was rich with conversation, good rest, and great food.

Here is what we did besides chirp chirp chirp like little birds as Dennis likes to call us as we caught up on everything.

One of the things I love about visiting Emily is that she knows so much about the neighborhoods, which may come in handy if she ever takes my advice and pursues a career as a realtor. Friday night she took me to BITE where we drank some red wine (bring your own) over my Thai Green Curry with chicken and jasmine rice. Love it when there is enough bite to make my nose run because it reminds me of India. Then we went back to her casa and did all the things we like to do like lay on her bed and talk and fall asleep to HGTV in the background.

Saturday brought more goodness as we ventured out in our pjs to Milk & Honey where we snagged some good coffee and egg dishes...isn't it cute:

We didn't stay becuase we had a serious movie date with Julie & Julia. BON APPETIT. I loved that movie in the theater and can honestly say I loved it just as much this weekend in my pjs by the light of the Christmas tree.

The rest of the day flew by with a little run (haven't done enough of that lately, was feeling it for sure and may have to just continue because I missed it). Now that I think about it, that buzz hit me last time we visited Chicago. The day was capped off with a drive over to another neighborhood where we saw some really cute boutiques and enjoyed a late lunch at the Southport Cafe and continued to take bites off one anothers' plates becuase that is what we have done since our friendship began 8 years ago in Olson Hall. Some things never change.

it's been awhile

...since I have done a giveaway! And I LOVE the blogger and the handmade item that she will be giving away to one lucky friend. Curious yet?! All I can say is that you will love it too. No more clues for now about who she is and what you will win...until Saturday.

I will tell you though that I will have a partner in crime on this giveaway. So while you anxiously await more info...I invite you to check out Alicia's blog here in the to get to know her a little better. She & I met about 4 years ago or so...her mom & dad photographed our wedding and her mom is good friends with Ryan's mom. Let's all sing "its a small world after all" in a round, shall we? I think you will see Alicia's fresh perspective on life and the journey God has her on. So we will make a fun pair for this little giveaway for YOU. Blessings! It is almost Friday!

fall adventures

I had been looking forward to our day away with Justin and Jamie ever since we planned it back in early September. Both Jamie and I are such planners that we usually have our respective vacations planned down to where we will eat dinner, visit, stay etc. But this day was reserved with conscious effort to go with the flow and that we did. We started with our local fave, @ The Diner in Zeeland for breakfast. Good local fare, everyone is always happy with their selection and since Ryan and dined at IHOP the night before on a whim for pumpkin pancakes, I started with staples, coffee and oatmeal.

From there, we headed south, using the Garmin and road signs as our guides. First stop, Crane's Orchard for some U-Pick Honeycrisps and the search for the perfect pumpkins. Ryan so spoke my love language when suggesting the perfect pumpkin/gourd combo to go on our front porch. (And I have my Welcome up so I will take a pic soon!) We hung out there for a bit, wandering up and down the rows, taking pics and apples.


My dear friend Jamie, who was one of my first friends at Evergreen when we started attending 5 years ago. We have been in various small groups together Ryan and I were engaged and began our married life, prayed with them as they anticipated the birth of their little cutie, Alexis, this spring and continue to value their friendship so much. If God does call us somewhere else in the next few years for Ryan's seminary years or even ministry in another place, I know they are "lifer" friends.

After Cranes, we spent the rest of the day adventuring Southwest Michigan and hit the following wineries:
Fenn Valley, Round Barn, Hickory Creek, Free Run, Karma Vista... I think that is all of them. Gorgeous views and lots of pit stops along the way where we saw God's creation in the trees and winding roads.

At one point in the day, we stumbled upon the Chocolate Garden with the creamiest, most delectable...and expensive truffles we have ever had. Ryan and I shared a 2-pack of dark chocolate coffee truffles. Oh my. Check them out if you are a chocolate lover and travel 94 between St. Joe & Chicago, you won't be disappointed.

We ended the day with a trip to the Stray Dog in New Buffalo for dinner and HAD TO partake in our tradition of ordering a stray dog as an appetizer. Let me break it down: a cheese stuffed, bacon wrapped, deep friend hot dog with caramelized onions and fries. Which without splitting 4 ways would nearly put you into cardiac arrest.

What a gift this day was, between Ryan's 21 hours, my balancing 3 part time jobs (sounds worse than it is), and striving to life in each day for what it has. It totally energized me for a new week and each time I pull into the driveway and see my new little pu'nkins, I will smile for sure.

I LOVE FALL. Can you tell by my obsessive mention of the pumpkin baking, the red tree, the necessity of gourds? All of it. We have had some awesome weekends with friends enjoying the traditions of fall and before I tell you in about this weekend's events, I have to go back a few weeks and tell you in pictures about when they came:

We were so excited because it was the big ArtPrize opening weekend that I wrote about here and even though they are the type of friends that you can stay in your comfy clothes and drink coffee all day with, we wanted to share the adventures of our city. We spent the day Saturday downtown checking out a bunch of different venues and made our 2nd trip to Hopcat



I think my hubby was inspired...this was his artsy pic of the day of muah.

the hard truth

I just got home from what seemed like any other night of coffee with the girls. With one exception. Tonight they told me the good and hard truth that I needed to hear. Yes, the same girls who confronted me senior year in the bathroom, cornered me and told me I was in the wrong. And I have never felt more loved because even then, 8 years ago, I knew they cared enough to tell me the good and hard truth.

Again tonight, it was straight up; no telling me to let God and let God, which is good and Biblical advice, but sometimes we need to just call a sister out . And there it was, the truth statement. "Bekah, You just need to stop. You need to stop planning your life and trying to organize everything. It is your greatness weakness and your greatest strength." Truth, just laying out in the open and it felt so good to hear what I already knew but needed someone else to say.

Thank you to my truthful friends, who speak what they hear when we talk over my lunch hour and are ok with me talking about anxiety; when we sit over dessert and coffee at Applebees and you know where I am at so you don't beat around the bush or let me do the same, when we go for walks and you ask hard questions. Thank you. You make me know I am loved too much to let things slip by.

both/and

As much as I hesitate to write about things that are negative, I was recently reminded that life is not meant to be lived without the support of friends. That said, I need to process something that happened this week. I haven't talked about it or thought about it much since it happened, but in that moment it felt like an eternity, dragging on and pulling me along with it.

Over the past 6 months or so, I have been really breaking free of my addiction to running and consuming thoughts about controlling what I eat or don't eat, how much I exercise, etc. And let me just say that giving something up like that at first, feels like a free fall, exhilarating and terrifying at the same time, like you don't know if you will be able to catch yourself. But I have and I am gaining alot of steadiness in that area of my life, with the help of God and prayer and confession. And community. I am gradually learning in my life that my community needs to be part of my confession and struggle, not just my joy and others prayer requests, but mine as well.

All of that said, this week I had an intense "both/and" experience. Let me unpack that a little. I had a girl who is a stylist at a "chic-y" salon in Grand Rapids who was ordering some Uppercase Living and I drove out there to meet up with her between clients. From the moment I entered the spa she works at, I felt an overwhelming struggle going on inside of me. I know alot of wonderful girls who are stylists who are warm and open, but let me tell you, none of the girls in this salon were any of that. I felt an enormous lump of jealousy building in my chest over their perfectly matched designer outfits complete with fashionable heels, the newest accessories, all hairs in place, makeup perfectly shaded. And I felt like as I sat in the waiting room and waited and waited, they were unpacking me as well.

And I plain felt like I didn't measure up. I felt both inferior and superior at the same time to them (the "both/and" complex). I felt inferior by everything I just wrote but I felt a sense of superiority, knowing that I am not living my life based on my merits of beauty. Please friends, don't hear me saying that I need an ego boost or kind affirmation. I just need to be real about the struggle that goes on between women. My friend Brandi & I were talking just a few days before this incident and we decided that women operate on the point's system:

"My hair is cuter than hers" 1 point for me
"Her jeans are smaller than mine" 2 points for her
"My home is decorated better than hers" 1 point for me

You get the picture. And in those moments, it made me really sad that I was feeling myself playing that game. I feel better already, putting it out there and am thankful for each of you women in my life who don't keep track of points, but affirm Godliness and grace, knowing that those things truly are beautiful.

I'm thinking about friends this morning as I catch up on other's writings and realizing how many spheres of people I love are out there. It feels like a chart of circles, one that has many circles that cross over one another, a venn diagram I believe it is called. Except instead of 3 layers it has multiple layers and with depth and thicker strands at many points. Which has always felt like a gift to me but lately has overwhelmed me at times. Not knowing where to focus my energy and give my heart.

I was reminded recently that because we are created in the Image of a triune God, community is something that is inherent in us. There is community in the Godhead, so there is a longing for community in me. So I am going to keep digging in, pushing through my questions about where I fit and where I should serve and how deeply I want to love. Because I think it is pushing me to love God more and ask Him how to be transparent and abandon my sometimes pursuit through life as Little Miss Independent.

still wanting to hear from more of you on your insight on women's friendships...see the post below for details and lay it all out there!

book giveaway!

I just joined a Random House book blog club recently and am reading the above "The Friends We Keep" by Sarah Zacharais Davis and loving the insight. As women and inherently relational beings, I believe we all long for community. Getting there as women can sometimes prove to be difficult. I feel like there have been so many seasons in my life where I continue to redefine my close friendships and re-learn my role.

This book speaks to all of the dynamics of women's friendships and is a true picture of how because we need relationships in the way our bodies need water and air. More to come on my thoughts of the book but as part of my book club I have the chance to give a copy of this book away to one lucky friend. In order to have a shot at owning the book yourself, I want to know what you think the best and worst part of women's friendships are. Is it the girl's nights and the tears, the jealousy and the joys? Let it all out. I will choose a random winner this Sunday night so enter quick!

PS. if you are interested in blogging for books...check out this link for more info.

part of my heart is in Florida this week

Last year at this time, I was waking up at 7 am, packing a cooler (multiple coolers) for the day and loading 30 kids into big white vans for service projects, double checking for sunscreen and bug spray and inhalers. Giving hugs and braiding hair, breaking up conflicts over who gets to be in charge of the radio and patroling for immodest clothing. And this week, each morning I think about that week in Jacksonville with the youth group and my heart mourns a bit that I am here and not there as they returned for a missions trip this week.

I love those kids and want them so badly to know that Jesus loves them too. Taking a year off from formal youth ministry has been a time for me to refresh, to get my cup refilled, all of those things. But when I think about weeks like Jacksonville and Bilouxi 2 summers ago, those weeks gave me more life and joy than many other weeks in my life have. They filled my cup to the brim with laughter and joy and somehow forced me to be my best self, knowing that how I live makes a difference to these kids. So thanks God for the fullness of loving these kids and give me wisdom to know when it's time to jump back in.