birds & nests: feeling known

I'm sitting in the quiet of a Wednesday night in our house, after what was probably my second bath as an adult followed by a big bowl of strawberry shortcake and feeling very content. Blessed in fact as I think about the celebration that my sister-in-law Rochelle and some very sweet friends organized last Sunday as my first baby shower.

Rochelle & I

From the moment I walked in the room, I noticed the details down to every last napkin wrapped, every place setting laid and every nest perfectly arranged. And the cake that Dana and Kelsey made, wow! It was perfect and whimsical and fun and I felt like it was all so me. Which made the shower so sweet and as I mentioned before, made me feel so known and loved. Here is just a taste of what the afternoon looked like:





Wasn't the cake amazing?!

I felt so cared for and blessed by seeing women from all areas of my life at Evergreen as this shower was full of friends from small groups, bible studies, youth group, co-staff and simply women that I have grown close with over the past 6 years since we started going to church at EGM.

my table:

Evergreen staff & loved ones:

small group friends & accountability partners:

Of course my Mom was there, right by my side serving in her full future grandma capacity!

Evon made a special trip in just for the afternoon which meant a lot to me, especially since she really didn't know anyone at the shower.

My mother-in-law, Sheryl, Rochelle & I (the hostesses with the mostess):

We played some really fun games where people had to guess things about me, another where they had to play the Price is Right with baby supplies (and I got to keep them all!) and Rochelle also had each table decorate onesies. I wish I had pictures of those but I have to say, they were very creative. My favorite and the "winner" was one that has a giraffe & an elephant on it and then on the butt it reads "JUNGLE LOVE". so cute!

When it came time to open gifts, there was even more attention to detail as Torie had created a little "time to feather Bekah's nest" theme. So many of my friends are creative and talented that I received some very special and meaningful gifts that I can't wait to put to use like adorable burp clothes, hand crocheted blankets, and a custom diaper bag that I got to choose the colors for and will receive in a few weeks (I easily chose green and brown for that). I have to admit, it was a little bit different being on the receiving side versus the giving side and I continue to be very overwhelmed and thankful for people's generosity, support and utter JOY for us as parents. I wish Ryan could have been there in some ways to experience that blessing but it was just as fun to bring things home and share them and I doubt he would like being in a room with that many women for 2 1/2 hours.



I had to include this picture with the monkey outfit because Ryan REALLY likes monkeys on boy's clothing/bedding/anything really. We have both continued to feel like this is going to be a boy (although we will be SO happy either way) but for some reason I have just had that feeling since about the third month. Maybe it because we have a boy name we L-O-V-E and aren't sure on a girl's name yet? Can't wait to find out who is in there!

This was the last picture taken in the day and it includes some of my very favorite friends: Jamie, Kate, Me, Jana, Kelsey


All in all, so blessed and thankful for Rochelle who knows me SO well and made me feel so special!

"for such a time as this"

egm first annual women's retreat in review:

the digs: City Flats Hotel, downtown Holland.

the crew: Laura & I plus two of our high school students, sisters Alyssa & Katie who helped us with hospitality stuff for the weekend.

the other half of our team: Sally & Jodi who handled all of the registration plus emceed the event.

the lovely venue for our sessions: Trendway's downtown showroom which was literally right across the street from the hotel and perfect to hold our 70 retreat guests.

Our two speakers blessed us so much. Friday night we heard from Christine Mutch, who works at Cornerstone University in GR to disciple students. Her testimony of God's story in her life over the past 8 years was so touching. At the age of 28 she was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer and has now been in remission since that time and believes in God's call to live fully in each day. She also happens to be one of of Laura's college roommates.

If that wasn't enough, we came back Saturday to hear more from Marla Rotman, local coffee shop frequenter (takes one to know one) who is passionate about sharing her story of recovery and hope. Marla is one of the funniest people I have met in a long time and because she is also one of Laura's close friends, we got to share a room with her Friday night and stayed up until after midnight sharing stories.

We had some free time on Saturday to go downtown Holland and explore shops, catch lunch and just relax. We came back to end the weekend with what I think was one of the highlights of our time. We chose four women from Evergreen whose stories God has used in powerful ways and were reminded through them that sometimes going through times that are really difficult are later the things that God gives us to minister to others.



Overall the weekend really exceeded our expectations and I was glad so many women got to come out and take part in it. There were some new friends made, friendships deepened and lots of reminders of the great things taking place already in our community of women.

"And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?"
-Esther 4:14b

prodigal sons and adopted children

Sunday at EGM we had a service full of people wanting to make their faith public, dedicating their lives and little ones to their God. I can't say I have it all figured out as far as profession of faith vs. baptism, I do know that I don't believe either can secure us a ticket to heaven, but I do know what I saw that day.

I saw pictures of God's story through people, a life of addiction being turned over as a the prodigal son running into the open arms of his father and it was beautiful.

Luke 15: 20-24
20 "So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

21"The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son."

"But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. 24For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.

I saw families making covenants with God on behalf of their adopted children to show their children how to love God; which is what I think James writes about:

James 1:27Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

It was so moving to me on Sunday to see so many snapshots of what God is doing even in the community around us. I have been thinking about "religiosity" lately, how I am surrounded by mostly believers and really challenged to think about what I do about that and how I can start to step in to doing life with others. I was so annoyed last week hearing someone I know use lots of faith talk and acronyms when asked about his life and maybe part of what bothered me is that I know that language. almost fluent in it. Am I living true religion, like James writes about, or am I too busy working out my faith that I end up like the prodigal son's older brother.

Luke 15:29
But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends.

And still the Father's response in the story of the prodigal son astonishes me. It is that everything he has is already the older sons to have. speechless. my only thought is that maybe I need to realize the blessings I have but not camp out there, do something to celebrate the lost being found and even engage in the rescue. So where are the action points? Is it spending time with someone who needs support? Is it awareness about international events and major struggles? Is it being open to adoption as a part of my own family at some point?

How do you battle "religiosity" and pursue true religion in your own walk?

celebration

just a pic from last night, a celebration of 2 families coming together. And even though I was dateless (hubby was at a retreat this weekend up North), I huddled around tall tables champagne in hand and compared cupcakes and discussed wine and laughed about how old we are since we didn't know ANY of the songs that all of the high schoolers rocked out to. You better believe we were out there when YMCA and Love Shack came on.

THE Passion Post

"Yes, Lord, walking in the way of Your truth, we wait eagerly for You; Your name and renown are the desire of our souls." Isaiah 26:8

Hard to believe that 2 whole weeks have passed since our time in Atlanta and I am thankful for the continued blessing that those jammed packed, 8 am to 1 am for 4 straight days were. Remiss towards sleep and ready for the adventure, something happened in my heart the morning that we prepared to depart. As I stood in the shower, I was convicted and made aware of the unique place in their lives that the students we were going away with are at. I remembered the things that were part of my spiritual journey @ TU and realized the value that I would gain from participating in their growth.

I'm so thankful that happened because the switch in my thinking forced me to introduce myself, to ask questions and prepare for long answers to those questions. There is something to be said about truly engaging in that you get what you give. I was prepared for a few desirable days of retreat, for my heart to be challenged by some awesome teaching and music, which it was. What I was not prepared for was the hard and fast falling in love with students that took place.

Together we sat under some great teaching by Francis Chan (Crazy Love), Beth Moore, Andy Stanley, John Piper, not to mention some powerful worship led by Matt Redman, Christy Nockels, Charlie Hall, Chris Tomlin...and I was inundated and processing at high speeds but had specifically prayed that there might be something small to retain as to avoid a spiritual high in turn for a continuum of the themes God seems to be bringing into my life. Like how temporal our life here is and how big He is. God totally answered that prayer through John Piper's teaching on whether or not Jesus is "ego-maniac". How dare He command the world and all in it to worship Him?

I do not profess or if I am honest, desire, to be an intellectual but my heart was yearning to understand the answer to this question and the deeper question of why God created us and it all for His glory. Something in my view of God changed through the teaching and God gave me a picture later that night. He gave me a giraffe.

And now you are wondering how an African savanna animal ties into my picture of God. Let me explain. It is as if I have been seeing up close pieces(spots) of God in a really tangible way and have felt the spots of His grace, mercy, love for me and seen pieces of Him. But all of a sudden the lens zoomed out and there He was, towering above me in His Majesty, overwhelming me with the vastness of Him. It humbled me and gave me an awe that could only result in my joy and giving Him glory. If you would like to hear John Piper's teaching on this topic from an earlier sermon you can find it here.

Here is Ry & I hanging out at one of the sessions.

One more thing I wanted to mention was the opportunity that students had to participate in justice around the world by checking out the "DO SOMETHING NOW" center, where 12 organizations around the globe set up villages, faces, experiences to bring to the forefront how to put your worship into action. Over 4 days, through the pocket books of students giving up lattes, money for the semester and even fasting, over $600,000 was given to these 12 organizations resulting in life change around the world. Check out the link above to learn about the missions represented, I know you will be encouraged too.

corner's offering

Every month our church does something called our Corners Offering which is our response to God's call to care for the poor as they did in the times of the Old Testament by leaving the corners of their fields unharvested for the poor to harvest. Every Sunday, each person is asked to place just a $1 in the corner boxes & this Sunday a view was shown to convey the mission of December's corner offering, The Advent Conspiracy.

I was reminded of and challenged by the thought that so much of this season turns into stress, debt, busyness and how easy it is to reduce those things and bring back to the center worship & truly giving of our time and our resources. Check out this video to learn more about what his group is doing and the difference a little bit can make in getting water to people all over the world.

I promised and here it is

meet Abby, from whom creativity spills over. Abby and I went to Taylor University together (yah Olson Hall) and I have always loved the spirit and energy she has. I found her blog a few years ago and have enjoyed watching her family grow as she is now the happy momma to two little ones.
Isn't she beautiful?!

She will be giving away one of her beautiful handmade cowls that come in so many gorgeous colors and as you know, I am obsessed with scarves (as seen here and here) so I think it is a great option. Wear it with a plain sweater, your favorite printed coat, a long sleeve tee. Possibilities are endless. For your chance to win one of Abby's creation, go to her etsy shop between now and Wednesday and come back to let me know which is your favorite. You may also blog and/or facebook about this giveaway and comment with your link for another entry!

And remember how I mentioned that I would have a partner in this one. Well for those of you who live in the Wheaton/Naperville area, Alicia is going to share with you details on Abby's upcoming local appearances and some special deals just for you!

Have a great weekend! Can't wait to see which is your favorite.

community

I'm thankful tonight (thanks Amber for the reminder). I am not feeling well again and I was not able to be at the visitation for Ryan's grandpa but so many others were. Friends who came out of the wood work, family members who dropped what they had going, people who surprised us and people who we just knew would be there. So that feels like an extension of the body and is keeping me from feeling bad for myself tonight.

Philippians 1:3
I thank my God every time I remember you.

weekend run down

that's right twitter style again. I know you are wondering why I don't just get an account and give you a play by play daily. In a moment of weakness I tried to do just that but since I closed my account over 6 months ago, I am locked out. Or maybe I lucked out because I fear I may struggle with boundaries there. Here it is, for nothing more than my own personal joy:

Friday night:
-@redbox and happy I reserved The Proposal online first
-forget the frozen pizza, hubby says we are going to pick up Wolfies and somehow Starbucks Java chip ended up coming home with us too.
-in bed by 10:30 and happy to be there!

Saturday:
-up by 7 to get a start on the day and do my Explore the Story reading on the treadmill at the local gym
-rushed to coffee with my girlfriends from @FBHS, why do I struggle to be on time so much?! Left there to run to Meijer & then back home before the couple's baby shower
-hubby took one for the team by eating jars of baby food while blindfolded; was on standby with a big bucket while he tasted peas, squash, ham & gravy. yikes
-jam session on the way to David Crowder Band and grabbed Quizno's on the drive. Not holding to the restaurant budget too well this weekend, but at least we used coupons!
-Got to the concert early to get good seats, only to find that they are assigned...and we were in the 3rd row! Decided that when the Lord returns, I want to be at a David Crowder show singing "You are my Joy" or something of the like.

Sunday:
-EARLY morning to set up breakfast for the high school session that Ryan taught this morning from 8:30-noon. Was so proud of his passion for who God is and the way he is loving on high schoolers.
-took a FULL out nap in my church clothes and then realized that I had dog hair all over my new black sweater dress...but it is from Meijer so I machine washed it this afternoon
-bummed around and watched the latest episode of GLEE on Hulu.
-ended the night with youth group, hanging out with 50 of our favorite high schoolers, including a leader's skit involving a sword, a cat, a vegan, a human table & a waiter.
- a late night walk around Zeeland with the hubs and our pup, realized 1/2 mile in that my boots were not the most practical option but earned me some fall fashion points.

thoughts from today

Today was one of the most focused days that I have had in I dare say a long time. My head is quite regularly full of thoughts flowing in and out like rivers, which leads to sticky notes and action items and reminders. Today was marked out for something different and my mind and my heart were able to put a halt on the influx of information for the occasion. We had a staff retreat off site and it felt so good to sit with the team and intentionally process the vision and calling God has for us, in our work and in our own individual walks. The day also included some great coffee and delicious Italian food from here. which never hurts.Lucky me that I get to be with these people 3 days a week:


PS: there is the most gorgeous red tree with fire red leaves on my drive to work that reminds me of a chapter in Cold Tangerines (my standing favorite book by Shauna Niequist) that you can indulge in at this site

throwing off hinderances

Hebrews 12:1-2
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Let me start by saying that I am so priviledged to be back hanging out with high school students because I come away so blessed and challenged EVERY time. Our theme this year is "Amazing Race" and to begin, we are taking inventory on where we at in our race; going up a hill? at a water stand? bending over to tie our shoe for the 10th time because we are lazy and don't want to push through a side ache?

Our theme verse of this year is Hebrews 12:1-2 and tonight we honed in on the verses about the sin that so easily entangles us, slowing us down on our race to the prize. It is like we carry sin around like bricks on our backs, weighing us down and keeping us from running hard.

Laura had actually taken a stack of bricks, written different sins on them: envy, lust, lying, rage, cheating. etc. & asked a student to pack his backpack with the bricks that he believes he is carrying as we all thought about what our bricks are. I was so struck by the simple picture when he then unpacked his bag and laid those bricks at the foot of the cross, lightening his load and allowing him to freely live. How come I want to pick those bricks back up and carry them when I can leave them there?

This week caused me a lot of self reflection after realizing that alot of the process through this time of transition for Ryan and I has been going on in my head and not in community. I hurt a dear friend by my lack of transparency this week and by trying to manage my load on my own. In realizing it, I practiced alot of unloading of the backpack daily this week, sometimes over the SAME issues of envy, control, gossip, but truly trusting that I cannot carry them on my own. None of us can.
What are your bricks? Give them to the cross and together lets be amazed at the journey He takes us on.

Psalm 119:32
I run the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free

a week in pictures

this week has literally flown by and now that we are back at a weekend...here is the week in review. I have been trying to get better at taking pictures, even if I never do print any of them. Speaking of, I found out you can now have your blog printed in book form here. So, if anyone wants to do some early Christmas shopping for me...hint hint. On to the week:

Sunday night was our first small group night with the youth group girls and Leah and I are off to a great start. We kind of out number the seniors but are praying for them to bring lots of friends! Birthday Beads and a Tiara were present as we celebrated Courtney's big 1-8.



last night as part of small group we had a surprise shower for Randy & Dana who are expecting their first little one next month. Kate, whose house it was at was so cute, she got Baby Ruth, Sugar Babies, and Runts to go along with delicious lemon chiffon cake ala Costco.



Me, Kate, Dana, Jamie and Kelsey

Then came the adventure of the week...Suzy Homemaker attempt number 57. I have had this scone mix for about 6 weeks now, since Christina moved and gave me a present. Yes, you read that right, she gave me a set of tea and some scone mix in honor of all of the great time we have spent in coffee shops over the past year. Here is a pic before...and since I love fall so much I upgraded them to Pumpkin. An experiment all in itself. I also made peach crisp for when Emily & Dennis roll in tonight to spend a weekend here! Notice how small the scones are before baking and then the explosion they took on when they got huge! Maybe it was the pumpkin? Either way, I cannot wait to enjoy them with a cup of coffee tomorrow for the quintessential fall breakfast.

ArtPrize. in little ole' GR

So there is this amazing thing in GR that kicks off tomorrow called ArtPrize and we know some people that have entered art as well as heard about some INCREDIBLE pieces.

Basically, a bunch of local organizations and local venues opened up their space to artists, who then campaigned for space and the venues choose those they felt fit best. I am really excited about such a cool way to see different types of art for free and the chance to vote easily (via text) who will win cold hard cash. Up to $250,000. We are planning on heading down there this weekend with Dennis & Em while they are in town if the weather cooperates. Here is one of the artists than I know and cannot wait to check out:

Amanda Clark



She has created 18 foot tall trees on metal panels and check out her link above because my words can't do justice to what a masterpiece she has created. It is at Spectrum's Lemmen-Holten Cancer Center and it is definitely on my list of places to see @ Art Prize. very cool and just adds to my list of reasons I love living in West Michigan. amen and amen.

the hard truth

I just got home from what seemed like any other night of coffee with the girls. With one exception. Tonight they told me the good and hard truth that I needed to hear. Yes, the same girls who confronted me senior year in the bathroom, cornered me and told me I was in the wrong. And I have never felt more loved because even then, 8 years ago, I knew they cared enough to tell me the good and hard truth.

Again tonight, it was straight up; no telling me to let God and let God, which is good and Biblical advice, but sometimes we need to just call a sister out . And there it was, the truth statement. "Bekah, You just need to stop. You need to stop planning your life and trying to organize everything. It is your greatness weakness and your greatest strength." Truth, just laying out in the open and it felt so good to hear what I already knew but needed someone else to say.

Thank you to my truthful friends, who speak what they hear when we talk over my lunch hour and are ok with me talking about anxiety; when we sit over dessert and coffee at Applebees and you know where I am at so you don't beat around the bush or let me do the same, when we go for walks and you ask hard questions. Thank you. You make me know I am loved too much to let things slip by.

I'm thinking about friends this morning as I catch up on other's writings and realizing how many spheres of people I love are out there. It feels like a chart of circles, one that has many circles that cross over one another, a venn diagram I believe it is called. Except instead of 3 layers it has multiple layers and with depth and thicker strands at many points. Which has always felt like a gift to me but lately has overwhelmed me at times. Not knowing where to focus my energy and give my heart.

I was reminded recently that because we are created in the Image of a triune God, community is something that is inherent in us. There is community in the Godhead, so there is a longing for community in me. So I am going to keep digging in, pushing through my questions about where I fit and where I should serve and how deeply I want to love. Because I think it is pushing me to love God more and ask Him how to be transparent and abandon my sometimes pursuit through life as Little Miss Independent.

still wanting to hear from more of you on your insight on women's friendships...see the post below for details and lay it all out there!

part of my heart is in Florida this week

Last year at this time, I was waking up at 7 am, packing a cooler (multiple coolers) for the day and loading 30 kids into big white vans for service projects, double checking for sunscreen and bug spray and inhalers. Giving hugs and braiding hair, breaking up conflicts over who gets to be in charge of the radio and patroling for immodest clothing. And this week, each morning I think about that week in Jacksonville with the youth group and my heart mourns a bit that I am here and not there as they returned for a missions trip this week.

I love those kids and want them so badly to know that Jesus loves them too. Taking a year off from formal youth ministry has been a time for me to refresh, to get my cup refilled, all of those things. But when I think about weeks like Jacksonville and Bilouxi 2 summers ago, those weeks gave me more life and joy than many other weeks in my life have. They filled my cup to the brim with laughter and joy and somehow forced me to be my best self, knowing that how I live makes a difference to these kids. So thanks God for the fullness of loving these kids and give me wisdom to know when it's time to jump back in.

weekend update

We had the most wonderful relaxing weekend that we have had in a long time and I am so thankful we were home so much of it. I have been feeling like we are always gone somewhere, doing something and miss out on those nights where we just make plans on the fly. Like Friday night, when we went to see BrieAnna play at Mocha & Music with Christina and ended up with a group under the stars at New Holland.

Saturday night proved to be much of the same when Justin & Jamie called us around 7ish to meet them at the Brewery...2 nights in a row was perfect. They brought their new little girl, who definitely takes the cake for being my favorite little one right now. Who says you can't mix babies and breweries? They are the most laid back parents and I can honestly say that they are the same Justin & Jamie as always. We didn't get a picture of the 4 of us but Jamie was kind enough to snap some pics of Alexis with us :)

what a sweetie, she was so chill the whole night, almost like she knew that was what you do at New Holland, just relax!

As for Sunday, after church we vegged ALL afternoon, didn't go anywhere or do anything beyond a walk down to the Post Office & a nap on the couch with the sun pouring in. At night we had our long awaited small group cookout on Dana & Randy's back porch and since everyone has been gone on vacations and doing summertime things, there was much catching up to be done. Hard to believe that we have been together for close to 2 years as a group and a new couple will be joining us this fall who just celebrated their first anniversary which I think will add alot of life to the group.

ended the night with choosing this new layout from Shabby Blogs since I didn't win any of the contests I entered. I figure, if you can't beat em, join em. Let me know what you think!