feeling sicky

leave it to my little bro to post something that will cheer me up on a day where I am feeling very under the weather. The cold turned flu going around the office that was supposed to stop with the steady flow of Halls and Tylenol, well, it came to revisit me at about 2:34 a.m.
Which is why this MATH is ever the more relevant.


here are a few other faves:

Sunday morning lyrics

Do you ever have that experience during worship when you think the words of the songs chosen could have come right out of your own journal onto the projection screen? This song was that for me this morning. Hope it blesses you in the same way it did me.

creature of habit

I realized as I got dressed this morning, I am a creature of habit. That translates from my daily habits all the way down to the food I eat and the pieces I wear. Each season a few accessories rise up into a uniform of sorts outside of my working life wardrobe. Right now I am continuing my love for the pashmina acquired in India This one is from JcPenny but still reminds me of India either way. It has been worn 3 times already this week: once to work with a black & white jacket, once to a social event and as I sit typing with jeans & a black top. See what I mean?!

I have also been rockin the new brushed gold cuff I got last week at Forever 21 (inspiration below). Something a little funky for me but I decided to live a little. Mine has a floral design on the top & hurts my wrist proving fashion comes at a price.


I don't know what it is about habit that I enjoy so much- it can be kind of embarrassing have a favorite outfit for the season and realizing if I wear a version of it in all areas of life: work/home/out, people might think I am stuck in a rut. Not a rut I say my friends, but a seasonal habit. Come back in 3 months and you might see something new. Or you might not. Cause I might not be ready to break my habit yet.

profile

Wednesday was a good day- it always is because it a begins with our weekly prayer time & team meeting at CapTrust. Something I missed on a deep level while I was on my 8 month hiatus from that place. If you check out the team, insert me 2nd row right, between Ryan & Shanon. I missed the full out photo shoot while I was busy being unemployed twice & figuring things out. (however, I am still in the website mockup) shot.

In thinking about what to write in a current profile for myself as I am integrated back in & crossing my fingers no one asks if I can get my picture taken until I get some summer sun on my pale face... a few things come to mind but I would rather inventory the full scope of my life for introspection. Cause this is my open canvas, so I guess I have the right to. Here we go:

Rebekah Wallace:
contented wife
homemaker
dog lover
journalist
older sister
emotionally sensitive...crier
worker bee
people-pleaser/peace maker
daughter of the King
crafter
trusting
lover of laundry!

Quick Stats:
-Might be found solving the worlds problems daily over a cup of tea or coffee when not working, check JP's and if I am not there, check Panera Bread on the North side.
-Curiously seeking the role of the Holy Spirit in the life of a believer

Through all of this continued processing in our lives, I am learning to be a student of Ryan as well..here are a few things I think I might find on his profile:

Ryan Wallace:
passionate disciple
entrepreneur
husband seeking to lead
great sense of humor
shower singer- seems to favor David Crowder tunes.

What about you? What would you write on your current "profile" of you and where you are at?

On the Road

It was a day all my own and I had nothing before me but the open road & an empty minivan. I know, a dream right? Watch out Ikea Canton, here I come. Ryan asked me if I would be willing to take a little road trip on my day off over to the other side of the state to the nearest Ikea to pick up some things that he needed for the office. What a great excuse for a road trip.

I got up EARLY. Like 5:30 early to get my long run in for the week with my running partner as we push towards Riverbank in 7 short weeks. And it felt good, really good which is ironic because I am currently in the process of ending a long term relationship with ibuprofen. A very unhealthy dependent relationship but we just can’t see them when we are in them, can we? I mean look at Amy Winehouse….anyways, I digress.

Back to the adventure at hand; in the van, on the road by 9 am with a predicted arrival time of 11:30. It was about 10 am that my rumbling stomach took me on a detour that I wasn’t planning for (and I had a GPS with me so that isn’t another way to say that I got lost). It was a surprise off-ramp to the Dunkin Donuts in Okemos, MI a few minutes outside of Lansing. Hello yumminess.


And significant in a couple of ways; one, I can count on one hand the donuts I have had as an adult (when I passed my Series 7 and then my Series 66 at work, last summer after the Reeds Lake Run, and 1 with my friend Allison last spring…weird, I know). But the real significance is that Okemos was where my parents built their dream home a few short years before they separated. I haven’t been back to the house since probably early high school when my mom and I drove by it together. I couldn’t remember the address or even the street but I texted my Dad and it was literally 1.6 miles from where I was. So I headed east, turned into the subdivision of homes and began to get a little nervous about seeing the house. I could recall about where it was on the street in relationship to the caul de sac that wasn't built up yet when we lived there, but 20 years later, trees have been planted, shutters repainted and the fields covered in foundations and homes. Beyond the broad narrowing it down between 3 or 4 houses, I couldn't tell you confidently which house was ours.

Back on the road again, not feeling deeply melancholy as anticipated but actually feeling like I may be growing in my ability to process the back story of my life in a way that is reasonable and honest. So while I didn't see the house, the detour felt a bit cathartic. And let's be honest, the sugar buzz didn't hurt either.

Now for anyone who has ever been to Ikea, you know that a strategy must be in place to avoid complete consumerism hunger towards living in 750 perfectly manicured square feet. My plan of attack for this, my 3rd ever visit to Ikea, was limit and conquer. Meaning limit myself to the areas I knew I wanted to look at, get what I came for, and be on my merry way. I managed to put back the vase, candles, party napkins, pitcher, and whatever else was in that bottomless yellow bag and walk away with a wreath that felt like a touch of spring for $9.99.

Which left money in the wallet for my lunch date...with me.
I had serious plans to set up camp for a bit of the afternoon at Zingerman's in Ann Arbor. Check out the menu here.
If you ever get the chance, it is located in a really neat artsy part of the city & known for it's homemade breads, sandwiches, cheeses, all things good really. The menu itself has at least 100 sandwich options & let me tell you, I was glad I ordered a small because I couldn't even get my hands around the turkey & avocado on farm bread that I ordered. And the best part...dessert! They own the building next door in which they have created a haven of bliss (translation: scones, gelato, cakes)...and provide samples of EVERYTHING. Back in the car by 3:00 and on my way home to unload the van and return to real life. But for a time, it was nice to have a date with me.

Happy St. Patty's Day!

Let me tell you about what "luck" came to me 3 years ago on this day. Rewind to 2005, newlyweds of 8 months were we and on the pursuit for a home. And as the story goes, we looked at SO many homes and somehow they were all just above our price range. Like in the range where there are no longer Panera dinners on a whim, Target trips, weekends up north, popcorn at the movie theater (or even a movie in that budget). We just couldn't see setting ourselves up for the tension and conflict having a big house payment would create.
And so we looked...and we looked...and we looked. And I was officially "DONE LOOKING!!". I am not sure how I thought we would find a house if I didn't want to look anymore but it was an irrational thought that made sense in my own brain.
One fateful Saturday morning, Ryan set out with our realtor and friend, Steve and was open to looking at older homes, something that I wasn't interested in because they didn't have the open layout, and the Pottery Barn feeling, and everything else. And there I was, sitting at Jackie's Place enjoying breakfast with a friend when I got "the call". Ryan wanted me to come see this house and he just had a feeling I might like it. And I did. A lot. Sure, there were a lot of aesthetic updates to make with the salmon color paint and the gold fixtures, not to mention the futuristic light fixtures in the kitchen and the magenta floral mural in the main bedroom. But it wasn't in spite of those things that we choose to see the beauty. We just loved the house.
And here is where I think more than luck, there was a fateful or serendipitous connection with the home. I don't want to spiritualize this story but all I know is what I am about to tell you has been a beautiful blessing for us. Upon deciding to write an offer on the home, I called my mom. And I think she about dropped the phone when I told her the address. Our house was the very house that my grandparents lived in when they were first married for about 4 years. It didn't stay in the family, there wasn't any mention of it at the time, no one even told us it was for sale. My mom said that she had pointed it out to me a few times growing up but when you are 11 years old headed to the Westshore mall with your mom, you are too busy wondering what she will buy you at LTD Too to think about an old white house. I was in shock and had no recollection of ever seeing that specific house before in my life.
We slept in our house for the first time on St. Patrick's Day 2006 and 3 years later, I still feel pretty darn lucky. I don't know how long God has us in this house, we have made it our own and although others may have used the words, we have never felt like it was a starter home. It just feels like our home.
The best part is that my grandpa and grandma are both in wonderful health, retired school teachers who LOVE God & each other through over 60 years of marriage. Once we got the house, they spent many a morning paint brush in hand and painted all of the trim & windows in the home a crisp and clean white. And as the oldest granddaughter, it has been such a privilege to live in these rooms, serve dinner in the same dinning room that my grandmother did over 50 years ago, and know that these walls heard my mom cry as a newborn baby.

weekend update

We headed down this weekend to Chicago for a quick trip (no more than 24 hours total) that I have been looking forward to! We spent a wee bit of time with the Wheelers but tried to stretch it out by staying up late, getting up early and as Dennis put it "tweet tweet tweet"--chatting it up. Em & I spent Saturday morning running last minute errands including Trader Joe's and I just don't understand why the owners think people in West Michigan don't deserve one!

It was a blessing to be able to be part of Mandii's 1st shower in the afternoon after getting to know her better over the past year or so. It was so fun to see people she loves come around her and bless her. And let me tell you, this girl is loved~ she had friends in from Philadelphia, Tennessee, Michigan, Chicago. Part of the shower was sharing one thing about Mandii & mine was that we have been told numerous times that we look like sisters. I hope that is true because doesn't she look gorgeous?! I think she looks like she is straight off of the cover of some city boho momma magazine.

It was one of those sunshiny spring days where you just want to be outside and soak it all up. I think there are more of these to come and something about a day like this in the city makes it all right in the world.

I even won a game at the shower and earned myself a great candle from , a non-profit organization that provides training, mentoring & job placement for at-risk young women.
Here's Em & I soaking up the sun and enjoying the weekend together in our coincidentally coordinating outfits.

...while we were doing all that...the boys were doing this:

Not literally pouring the green in, but adventuring the festivities of St. Patty's Day downtown. We met up after the shower for a quick bite & brew at Cleo's and we were on our way back home. Speaking of all things green, St. Patty's day marks 3 years in our house; a story I will share later this week!

Think Spring

This morning I saw one of those flashing signs that they have at banks displaying the time & temperature and it read the following:
THINK SPRING...19 degrees.
Does anyone else think that is funny?! That doesn't sound too springy to me. But I will tell you what does:

-Training for Riverbank Run; I have done the 5k multiple times since I was 15 and this is my first attempt at the big guy. This is the biggest race in the area for West Michiganders so you are guaranteed a training partner or 2.
-changing a few decorations around the house (including this little bowl in my picture with the new eggs) which is always my internal indicator that I am ready for a new season
-friends fake & baking for Spring Break, I haven't given in yet out but not because of my conviction, more because of cost. Interesting emotions on the vacation front for me this year because I am self-defined vacationaholic. Meaning that I LOVE to think about, talk about, research, plan, go on, take pictures of and reminisce about vacations. In fact, this time last year Ryan and I were here with Emily!
However, I am really loving all of the mini weekend getaways coming up. This weekend we are headed to Chicago for Mandii's baby shower & some QT with Dennis & Em.
Next weekend it is up north with our great friends Justin & Jamie from church to the CABIN. Ah. the Cabin. Think Northern Michigan, the woods, windows lining the side of the house facing the lake, pancake breakfasts, euchre. What could be better.

So even if 19 degrees is what I get today, I'm thinking Spring.

I want to live like this:

hands open. recognizing the gift of renewal and new life going on all around and inside of me. He is making all things new (Revelation 21). Blogging feels like the final step of the first part of what I have begun to identify as my spiritual recovery. The past year and a half became directed towards figuring out what the "it" was in my life that was missing. Or not fitting. Turns out, after much processing, LONG coffee dates, a praying husband and friends with the ability to listen endlessly...the "it" was me. Love how Sara Groves puts it in this song.

See, I set out on this journey to figure out what I should change, particularly in my career. And it became this "thing" that consumed my mind, my energies. my time. I mean honestly; who else do you know who can say they have been on 30 job interviews in the past year? That in itself should have been my wake up call that I am not driving this ship. But, albeit a long and winding journey, I ended up face down, plain at the end of my energies, my abilities, my drive. And that is the place where freedom began. For those of you who have walked with me, I am thankful and blessed. And for those of you whom my pride prevented from walking with me, I am excited to share life openly with you.

The funny thing is about giving up control to God for someone like me who is a perfectionist and control freak is that it is a daily thing. That quick fix change I was looking for didn't happen. Sometimes I feel like being that SNL skit (sorry the quality is a little shaky...you get the point...



I want to fix it, identify another problem, fix it.
Instead, He is renewing me, making me new, from the inside out.
and it is so much better than I could do.