Sometimes I feel like I am on a high dosage of emotional speed. Like I'm high on my thoughts and emotions. And for the most part, I like that level of heightened senses and experiences and friendships and conversations. But sometimes I reach capacity and need to detox myself and give my mind a rest.
This past week was full of really normal days with normal things like work, and walking the dog, and small group but it was salted with conversations about forgiveness and redemption. And if I am honest, I am at square one. Or maybe square two but not far down the road except for my desire to walk it.
I need God's help on where to go from here as He has given us huge reason to believe that there may be reconciliation in my family. And as much as I want to hold onto my anger and confusion, I think, by grace and for grace's sake, I want to forgive more. This week my friend Allison looked me in the eye and said "It is ok that you are hurt and angry but is that worth missing the opportunity to have a front row seat to what miracles God may be doing?". And I really can't disagree with that.
So, my mind is at capacity, full of thoughts and lists and prayers and to-dos but I am going to take a lot of time this next week to get those things out on paper and with Ryan's help, process them with hope of moving forward through them. I think that is something else that has struck me deeply over the past 6 weeks; how my husband's protection and discernment has enforced boundaries and shields I didn't know or have the strength to put up. And for that I am really thankful. Soulfully thankful. It's amazing what a difference we each as husbands and wives can make in the walk our spouses have with the Lord.
So if I may ask you to pray with us as a family, as we step into a season of hopefulness that we did not anticipate and regardless of the outcome, are trying to trust God's larger plan.
Proverbs 16:9
"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps."
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
I had a million dollars
I'd give gifts.
A stark realization this weekend...I think my love language and the love language I express towards others may vary....all you experts out there, is this even possible?!
I really feel so loved when someone does something kind for me (acts of service) yet I really enjoy giving gifts to those I love. You can take a quiz here if you want to know more about your love language.
On a deeper love, part of why I love giving gifts is that they mark celebrations. I have lots of projects in the work right now for Mother's Day gifts (to be given @ Easter because we will be gone over Mother's Day), baby gifts-- one for my friend Sarah who delivered her second daughter Avery this morning, and this past weekend it was a little housewarming gift for these two as they begin life in their beautiful new home in Chicago:
What celebration would be complete with a trip to Target, late night ice cream and a movie, worshipping together...and last but not least, a delicious brunch at Glenn's Diner?
Celebrate what you want to see more of. --Thomas J. Peters
A stark realization this weekend...I think my love language and the love language I express towards others may vary....all you experts out there, is this even possible?!
I really feel so loved when someone does something kind for me (acts of service) yet I really enjoy giving gifts to those I love. You can take a quiz here if you want to know more about your love language.
On a deeper love, part of why I love giving gifts is that they mark celebrations. I have lots of projects in the work right now for Mother's Day gifts (to be given @ Easter because we will be gone over Mother's Day), baby gifts-- one for my friend Sarah who delivered her second daughter Avery this morning, and this past weekend it was a little housewarming gift for these two as they begin life in their beautiful new home in Chicago:
What celebration would be complete with a trip to Target, late night ice cream and a movie, worshipping together...and last but not least, a delicious brunch at Glenn's Diner?
Celebrate what you want to see more of. --Thomas J. Peters
Saturday, March 20, 2010
loving where you live
I think my pulse just picked up a little as I started writing. I always get excited/nervous to pick a winner for anything, even when I use a random method.
And I want to say before I do so that I LOVED reading about places people love and think that the list is worthwhile keeping for summer days and trips to new towns. Here were some common themes:
farmer's markets, little corner shops, places to find great gifts, wineries, corner pubs, early bird specials...the list goes on here
But more than that, almost everyone defined their favorite places with emotions and conversations and connection. Just proves that the places we love are even better with good friends and the memories that they signify. Thank you for sharing those places with ME and in turn giving me a little snapshot into your memories.
And now, before I continue to get sappy....here we go... a delicious bag of Good Life Granola is going to LUCKY NUMBER 7!
Candace said...
"Well you see i love zeeland(my home) and holland. So i would say bringing my son to zeeland bakery for a donut but also as a family we love to pick up our coffee at JPS as we walk down to the farmers market! Which i am so excited for and now i have something new to add to my list when i go!"
And I want to say before I do so that I LOVED reading about places people love and think that the list is worthwhile keeping for summer days and trips to new towns. Here were some common themes:
farmer's markets, little corner shops, places to find great gifts, wineries, corner pubs, early bird specials...the list goes on here
But more than that, almost everyone defined their favorite places with emotions and conversations and connection. Just proves that the places we love are even better with good friends and the memories that they signify. Thank you for sharing those places with ME and in turn giving me a little snapshot into your memories.
And now, before I continue to get sappy....here we go... a delicious bag of Good Life Granola is going to LUCKY NUMBER 7!
Candace said...
"Well you see i love zeeland(my home) and holland. So i would say bringing my son to zeeland bakery for a donut but also as a family we love to pick up our coffee at JPS as we walk down to the farmers market! Which i am so excited for and now i have something new to add to my list when i go!"
Friday, March 19, 2010
decorating by numbers
Before I count my way through my Spring decor, let me direct your attention to all of the awesome local recommendations that everyone is sharing here in order to get one step closer to a bag of Good Life Granola...no, really, read them. I promise you will get some great ideas of places near and far to visit! Feel free to add your recommendations until tomorrow night at midnight...I will post a winner Saturday morning!
Ok, on to the counting:
step 1: hang wreath
step 2: haul basket of goodies up from the basement including items obtained in the swap.
step 3 clean all surfaces--dust. no need for evidence here.
step 4 remember that you have hot rollers in...take them out and do your best Shirley Temple impression
step 5: incorporate items from the swap into current decor and create a different look from last year's Easter decor.
step 6: try Ikea table as a coffee table.
decide it is too small for the center of the room, so move it here.
and the finale, put spring duckies fondly referred to as Arnold & Cynthia out, truly marking the changing of seasons.
Ok, on to the counting:
step 1: hang wreath
step 2: haul basket of goodies up from the basement including items obtained in the swap.
step 3 clean all surfaces--dust. no need for evidence here.
step 4 remember that you have hot rollers in...take them out and do your best Shirley Temple impression
step 5: incorporate items from the swap into current decor and create a different look from last year's Easter decor.
step 6: try Ikea table as a coffee table.
decide it is too small for the center of the room, so move it here.
and the finale, put spring duckies fondly referred to as Arnold & Cynthia out, truly marking the changing of seasons.
Monday, March 15, 2010
state love/ all things local giveaway
I love Michigan. understatement. How many other states do you know where people know the state motto and several websites by heart?
Such as my favorites:
michigan.org, Pure Michigan, Great Lakes, Great Times..and the new revamped one. Smitten with the Mitten including it's own brand found over at Michigan Awesome:
I have truly come to appreciate the little lake towns and wineries and coffee shops that have become favorites in many places this side of the state. Like the Holland Peanut store where I took these girls when they visited last summer, or the little shops that we strolled through when we stayed local for spring break.
Something that I have really come to look forward to is the local farmer's market that sets up shop 2 days a week right down the street from my office. And it was there, at that very market last fall where Ryan and I discovered this:
Only the best bag of granola ever. And the people were really nice at the booth too, letting us take 2 samples of it because we came as they were closing. There is such a tasty sweetness and crunch to it that after we bought it on Saturday morning...I think it was gone by Tuesday of that week. It found its way into muffins and parfaits and I think mostly just our bare hands shoveling it into our mouths. Neither of us have confessed yet to finishing off the bag. I was at JP's the other day and there it was again. So...being the little local cheerleader that I am, I emailed the Good Life Granola people about my happiness with their granola...and they are giving a bag to you.
In turn, I want to know your favorite local places to go wherever you live. Is it a particular coffee shop that makes you feel cozy or a local market or pub around the corner? What makes you love where you live?
Share your thoughts until Friday night @ midnight because Saturday morning someone is going to wake up one step closer to a bowl of granola in their belly...
Such as my favorites:
michigan.org, Pure Michigan, Great Lakes, Great Times..and the new revamped one. Smitten with the Mitten including it's own brand found over at Michigan Awesome:
I have truly come to appreciate the little lake towns and wineries and coffee shops that have become favorites in many places this side of the state. Like the Holland Peanut store where I took these girls when they visited last summer, or the little shops that we strolled through when we stayed local for spring break.
Something that I have really come to look forward to is the local farmer's market that sets up shop 2 days a week right down the street from my office. And it was there, at that very market last fall where Ryan and I discovered this:
Only the best bag of granola ever. And the people were really nice at the booth too, letting us take 2 samples of it because we came as they were closing. There is such a tasty sweetness and crunch to it that after we bought it on Saturday morning...I think it was gone by Tuesday of that week. It found its way into muffins and parfaits and I think mostly just our bare hands shoveling it into our mouths. Neither of us have confessed yet to finishing off the bag. I was at JP's the other day and there it was again. So...being the little local cheerleader that I am, I emailed the Good Life Granola people about my happiness with their granola...and they are giving a bag to you.
In turn, I want to know your favorite local places to go wherever you live. Is it a particular coffee shop that makes you feel cozy or a local market or pub around the corner? What makes you love where you live?
Share your thoughts until Friday night @ midnight because Saturday morning someone is going to wake up one step closer to a bowl of granola in their belly...
Saturday, March 13, 2010
a new take on mornings
I love mornings. Why? Because they are MINE. Now before we start addressing what sounds like a control issue with the a.m. hours, allow me to explain. I used to love both mornings and evenings but the scale has tipped to the early hours because of the quiet and calm they provide.
There are no phone calls before a certain hour, no places you are expected to be and the time is all yours to do with it what you please. Which for me is shuffling around the kitchen in my pjs, emptying the dishwasher and making myself eggs. Sitting on the couch and doing absolutely nothing. Whatever I want to do.
I have found that if I start my morning right, the rest of my day just feels better. As I think about, the beginning of my affection goes back to my high school days. Writing in the margins of this Bible: (did anyone else have the Teen Study Bible?!--very popular in the late 90's):
I also secretly love day trips when you have to meet early because it always merits a stop for a latte and early morning music and conversation. Or just quiet if the other people are not so into mornings as you are, insert hubby into that category. I may not have convinced you yet but thought I owed to mornings to give it a try.
There are no phone calls before a certain hour, no places you are expected to be and the time is all yours to do with it what you please. Which for me is shuffling around the kitchen in my pjs, emptying the dishwasher and making myself eggs. Sitting on the couch and doing absolutely nothing. Whatever I want to do.
I have found that if I start my morning right, the rest of my day just feels better. As I think about, the beginning of my affection goes back to my high school days. Writing in the margins of this Bible: (did anyone else have the Teen Study Bible?!--very popular in the late 90's):
I also secretly love day trips when you have to meet early because it always merits a stop for a latte and early morning music and conversation. Or just quiet if the other people are not so into mornings as you are, insert hubby into that category. I may not have convinced you yet but thought I owed to mornings to give it a try.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
spring is in the air
Since it feels like spring is in the air, I thought I would spruce things up a little bit around here. The quote in the picture is the same one that is on the picture in our bedroom that I love. yes, I continue to love birds.
I spent some good time in the kitchen in the past 24 hours and thought I would share a little baking trick that I used again last night as well as a crock pot recipe that came together earlier this week.
First the tip:
If you over bake your cookies, which for some reason I tend to do, I think because they don't brown as quickly on my Pampered Chef stoneware, you can store them in a air-tight container with a piece of fresh bread and the moisture from the bread will transfer to the cookies. I didn't have any bread and used a flour tortilla with the same success. MAGIC.
And for the EASY meal...
1 lb chicken, preferably tenders
1 onion chopped
1 packet taco seasoning
1/3 cup water
Set it and forget it! Put it in your crockpot all day and come home to chicken so tender you can pull it apart. You can use it in soft taco shells, on a bed of lettuce, alone served over rice/black beans...and since there are only 2 of us, I am guessing we will use more than one of those options before it is gone.
Suggested bonus items: fresh avocado, refried beans, salsa, tomato-- the sky is the limit on this one!
I spent some good time in the kitchen in the past 24 hours and thought I would share a little baking trick that I used again last night as well as a crock pot recipe that came together earlier this week.
First the tip:
If you over bake your cookies, which for some reason I tend to do, I think because they don't brown as quickly on my Pampered Chef stoneware, you can store them in a air-tight container with a piece of fresh bread and the moisture from the bread will transfer to the cookies. I didn't have any bread and used a flour tortilla with the same success. MAGIC.
And for the EASY meal...
1 lb chicken, preferably tenders
1 onion chopped
1 packet taco seasoning
1/3 cup water
Set it and forget it! Put it in your crockpot all day and come home to chicken so tender you can pull it apart. You can use it in soft taco shells, on a bed of lettuce, alone served over rice/black beans...and since there are only 2 of us, I am guessing we will use more than one of those options before it is gone.
Suggested bonus items: fresh avocado, refried beans, salsa, tomato-- the sky is the limit on this one!
Sunday, March 7, 2010
lighter things
Torn about what I can write about because I continue to struggle with the privacy I want with my family struggles right now but feeling like in the midst of them, I still have my "normal" life of going out to New Holland with friends until 10:30 on a week night (Wednesday) and having adventures with my hubby and coffee with friends. I feel a bit split in half but allow me to with that said, share some of the lighter things that are in my mind.
Like the early edition release of the Passion 2010 album that you can listen to online for free. Better believe that is on repeat on both my and Ryan's computers. Specifically #5, Christy Nockel's song Healing is in Your Hands.
And the success of 4 pairs of jeans for under $60 that were scored this weekend between Ryan and I. Let me just say that I love the ANA (a new approach) brand at JcPenney. And that 3 of the pairs belong to my husband but that he NEEDED some new pairs. I have started to become very thrilled about finding good deals and even flirting with the idea of becoming a coupon clipper. It feels a bit like revenge on the retail world and I am scared and delighted at the possibility.
My friend Jenn Webber told me about her sister-in-law who teaches people how to use coupons and I know that sounds silly but after reading the girl who teaches heart for helping families and even her global perspective, I am encouraged. To see what I mean, read her perspective. I don't what has kept me from using coupons to this point, maybe partly pride but mostly laziness.
One other thing that happened before the weekend got a bit heavy was the fact that I went to a hiking and outdoor gear store, on Friday and got fitted for some boots for Israel. I don't think I haven't written about our trip on here but Ryan and I will be going on a 2 week study/hiking tour for the first 15 days of May. As it gets closer, there is much work to be done in light of preparing ourselves physically for the time like climbing stairs a couple times a week for the next 8 weeks in our new boots. There are several organizations in West Michigan that put together trips to Israel, Turkey & Greece. So crazy as it sounds, we know more than handfuls of others that have been to Israel either as high school students or adults. Which means we have several resources to learn from as we prepare and the thing we have been told by every single person is that you cannot prepare enough physically. Last spring Stacie & I spent many a Tuesday morning climbing stairs and there was something sacred about driving to the lake when the sun was still coming up and pushing ourselves. I am looking forward to having that drive and a reason to challenge myself and even more than that, having something to focus forward on right now.
Like the early edition release of the Passion 2010 album that you can listen to online for free. Better believe that is on repeat on both my and Ryan's computers. Specifically #5, Christy Nockel's song Healing is in Your Hands.
And the success of 4 pairs of jeans for under $60 that were scored this weekend between Ryan and I. Let me just say that I love the ANA (a new approach) brand at JcPenney. And that 3 of the pairs belong to my husband but that he NEEDED some new pairs. I have started to become very thrilled about finding good deals and even flirting with the idea of becoming a coupon clipper. It feels a bit like revenge on the retail world and I am scared and delighted at the possibility.
My friend Jenn Webber told me about her sister-in-law who teaches people how to use coupons and I know that sounds silly but after reading the girl who teaches heart for helping families and even her global perspective, I am encouraged. To see what I mean, read her perspective. I don't what has kept me from using coupons to this point, maybe partly pride but mostly laziness.
One other thing that happened before the weekend got a bit heavy was the fact that I went to a hiking and outdoor gear store, on Friday and got fitted for some boots for Israel. I don't think I haven't written about our trip on here but Ryan and I will be going on a 2 week study/hiking tour for the first 15 days of May. As it gets closer, there is much work to be done in light of preparing ourselves physically for the time like climbing stairs a couple times a week for the next 8 weeks in our new boots. There are several organizations in West Michigan that put together trips to Israel, Turkey & Greece. So crazy as it sounds, we know more than handfuls of others that have been to Israel either as high school students or adults. Which means we have several resources to learn from as we prepare and the thing we have been told by every single person is that you cannot prepare enough physically. Last spring Stacie & I spent many a Tuesday morning climbing stairs and there was something sacred about driving to the lake when the sun was still coming up and pushing ourselves. I am looking forward to having that drive and a reason to challenge myself and even more than that, having something to focus forward on right now.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
prodigal sons and adopted children
Sunday at EGM we had a service full of people wanting to make their faith public, dedicating their lives and little ones to their God. I can't say I have it all figured out as far as profession of faith vs. baptism, I do know that I don't believe either can secure us a ticket to heaven, but I do know what I saw that day.
I saw pictures of God's story through people, a life of addiction being turned over as a the prodigal son running into the open arms of his father and it was beautiful.
Luke 15: 20-24
20 "So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
21"The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son."
"But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. 24For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.
I saw families making covenants with God on behalf of their adopted children to show their children how to love God; which is what I think James writes about:
James 1:27Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
It was so moving to me on Sunday to see so many snapshots of what God is doing even in the community around us. I have been thinking about "religiosity" lately, how I am surrounded by mostly believers and really challenged to think about what I do about that and how I can start to step in to doing life with others. I was so annoyed last week hearing someone I know use lots of faith talk and acronyms when asked about his life and maybe part of what bothered me is that I know that language. almost fluent in it. Am I living true religion, like James writes about, or am I too busy working out my faith that I end up like the prodigal son's older brother.
Luke 15:29
But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends.
And still the Father's response in the story of the prodigal son astonishes me. It is that everything he has is already the older sons to have. speechless. my only thought is that maybe I need to realize the blessings I have but not camp out there, do something to celebrate the lost being found and even engage in the rescue. So where are the action points? Is it spending time with someone who needs support? Is it awareness about international events and major struggles? Is it being open to adoption as a part of my own family at some point?
How do you battle "religiosity" and pursue true religion in your own walk?
I saw pictures of God's story through people, a life of addiction being turned over as a the prodigal son running into the open arms of his father and it was beautiful.
Luke 15: 20-24
20 "So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
21"The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son."
"But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. 24For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.
I saw families making covenants with God on behalf of their adopted children to show their children how to love God; which is what I think James writes about:
James 1:27Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
It was so moving to me on Sunday to see so many snapshots of what God is doing even in the community around us. I have been thinking about "religiosity" lately, how I am surrounded by mostly believers and really challenged to think about what I do about that and how I can start to step in to doing life with others. I was so annoyed last week hearing someone I know use lots of faith talk and acronyms when asked about his life and maybe part of what bothered me is that I know that language. almost fluent in it. Am I living true religion, like James writes about, or am I too busy working out my faith that I end up like the prodigal son's older brother.
Luke 15:29
But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends.
And still the Father's response in the story of the prodigal son astonishes me. It is that everything he has is already the older sons to have. speechless. my only thought is that maybe I need to realize the blessings I have but not camp out there, do something to celebrate the lost being found and even engage in the rescue. So where are the action points? Is it spending time with someone who needs support? Is it awareness about international events and major struggles? Is it being open to adoption as a part of my own family at some point?
How do you battle "religiosity" and pursue true religion in your own walk?
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