shenanigans

Lots of interesting firsts in the past few days. My first visit to "cash4gold" and and my first cooking demo...

Life continues as usual with my processing life stuff and ups and downs and maybe I will write more about that in coming days, but for now, I'm focusing on the carefreeness of the past 3 days. Like the lunch date that Amber & I had @ Real Food Cafe (A-MAZING quesadillas with chicken & artichokes and feta) and then jumping in her car to hit up Cash 4 Gold. Oh yes we did. You can read about the rest of our adventure here as told by Amber.

Yesterday, Michelle & I headed down to 2 antique shops on a mission. Project update the spare bedroom began @ Blue Star Antique Pavilion and about 3 booths in we hit the jackpot. The thing I love about spending time with Michelle is that we chat and tell stories and update each other on life, going from serious to carefree within a moment's notice.

A few weeks ago after the swap, we started talking about a vision for her & Britton's guest room which gets quite a bit of use since both of their families are from out of town. It has been nicely furbished to this point with pieces they already own, a nice bed, a side table, a mirror, the necessities. So we weren't starting from bare bones but knew that we wanted to take it in a whole new direction. So when we came across 2 nice side tables, 3 frames made out of old trim and a shabby chic shutter to serve as a headboard, it was a package deal.

This was the point in which Michelle knew I would write about our finds:

We'll take it! And it pays to ask about discounts because we found out that you can get 10% off most things at these types of antique malls.

From there we entered our destination into the GPS & headed to something I was really looking forward to. Jodi Michelle's cooking demo! Jodi & I first met probably 2 or so years ago when our husbands' business were both in the same building and have not had a lot of opportunities to get to know one another since then but I jumped at the chance to check out her cooking demo. Plus the menu sounded delicious and she hooked us up with some of these from the etsy shop "Kitchen Stories" :

It was a wonderful afternoon and I loved being in such a comfortable home with other women, some of which I knew, some that I didn't. We shared cooking tips, asked questions and learned a lot about the art of cooking salmon, how to make a delicious curry dip and the cake. oh the cake. I loved reading Jodi's perspective on the day (I think you will too) and am looking forward to recreating some of the recipes again soon!

counting my blessings

1) top on the list are these 3 flowers that a friend unexpectedly dropped off at the office yesterday with a little card with a cute birdie.

2) then came an email from a dear friend with this subject line:
Peace and this quote:
"It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart."

3) A mid-afternoon coffee date with a friend whose marriage is being restored and healed in powerful ways.

4) A 45 minute drive with my hubby to a family birthday party, great conversation

5) Last but not least, my dishwasher seems to be on the mend, I was washing by hand for about a week and a half and thankful when I come home that my sink isn't full.

What are you thankful for today?

Singletasking

I read an article this week in an old edition of Real Simple that intrigued me. The author committed one month of his life against multitasking. No MULTI-TASKING you say? How on earth in days of days of blue tooth-so you can drive and talk, tabbed browsing- cause you can’t just look at one website at a time, and drive through lattes could this be a good thing.?

And I asked myself, Self, "when was the last time you did just one thing at a time?" When I’m in the shower I think about my day and the lists I can make in my head. Driving to and fro I am on my cell phone or planning things, while making breakfast I think about the dishes to wash and the shirt to iron. I don’t do just one thing well.

This is not to say I have the whole “multitasking” thing licked. By no means; in fact, my version probably looks a lot more like inattention and distraction than it does streamlined process. But it was so interesting to me that I read the whole thing beginning to end and could feel the author’s life developing meaning in quiet moments as he chose to allow conversations and thoughts to happen when they needed to. So I decided to try it this afternoon.

Inconveniently and annoyingly Conveniently, my internet is not working consistently so I don’t have the option to flip over to the new arts website I became aware of. Pause my singletasking a minute for a little plug for Ambrose, a Holland based art/mentoring organization whose founder I sat by yesterday at the chamber luncheon. Check it out, especially if you are into custom tees or just want to be inspired. Ok, back to my one single task at hand. What was I saying again? Oh, yes, so my internet is down. And there is an emotional monkey on my back, an elephant in the room, that I needed to deal with.

I shut all distractions off, sat in my comfy chair and wrote. Opened up an old school word.doc and wrote and wrote and wrote. Ignoring the grammatical highlights and spelling suggestions I let it spill out. Something I probably could have used to do a few days ago but I ever so efficiently stepped around it with my multitasking until it and I were face to face.

And honestly, I feel a bit better. It was good in a deep way to submit my attention to one thing, to give in my focus and time. I realize we do not have the ability to stop our days and the things we need to accomplish to keep life moving but I think maybe once in a while singletasking could serve us well.

celebration

just a pic from last night, a celebration of 2 families coming together. And even though I was dateless (hubby was at a retreat this weekend up North), I huddled around tall tables champagne in hand and compared cupcakes and discussed wine and laughed about how old we are since we didn't know ANY of the songs that all of the high schoolers rocked out to. You better believe we were out there when YMCA and Love Shack came on.

return to writing

I missed typing out my words this week. They found themselves weaved this week into conversations with so many good friends and journals and the pages of my Bible and some only ran through my mind. Choosing to not detail out online the things that are taking place in the life of my family, I will simply give the context that things are not right and there is much grieving, processing, and loving taking place.

Grief continues to be a funny thing in life that feels somewhat thematic of the past year and not something that I ever anticipated writing about or thinking about this often. A friend posted an article recently by Dan Allender (author and professor @ Mars Hill Graduate School) , entitled the Hidden Hope in Lament. It talks about how lament, both private and public are an appropriate expression in our relationship with God and how many times the Psalmist uses their own words to give us a model on how to do so. I also loved this acknowledgement in the article (read the rest of it here):

Christians seldom sing in the minor key. We fear the somber; we seem to hold sorrow in low-esteem. We seem predisposed to fear lament as a quick slide into doubt and despair; failing to see that doubt and despair are the dark soil that is necessary to grow confidence and joy.

I think that is so true, that we fear sackcloth and ashes and tell one another to pray about it. And I firmly believe in and have felt the prayers of the saints both in the past 7 days Yet, I also feel there is outward and physical response to grief that is part of the road to healing. As I continue to learn what that looks like, I am taking notes, literally. I want to see God's hand in the process and affirm that faithfulness. I also want to remember what things made sense to me so when others are in this place, I have a resource. Here are some of the things that have ministered to me this week (insert overwhelming thankfulness for all of my dear friends here):

If you have the inclination to pick up the phone or send an email, do it. This is something I always hesitate on doing but so appreciate them on the recieving end.

Send scripture in ways that can be carried (on cards, notecards, crafts).

Do normal things. Coffee. Magazines. It may seem trivial but normalcy is a gift.

Make meals.

Cry.

Understand the desire to engage but the inability at moments to engage as well.

Send packages.

Show up.

Gas gift cards.

PRAYER. on the phone. in coffee shops. in cars.

All of that said, I am fighting to see God's faithfulness because I believe it is that important and really looking forward to the wedding of a friend tonight who is getting remarried after 4 hard years. I will be DANCING it up downtown @ the reception and enjoying the celebration. Also will be rockin this dress (CLEARANCE!) & my new little headband with the silver flower...

pendant love

I loved reading all of your Valentine's memories and connected with so many of you on how dearly your Mom loved you and made the day special as well as dad-daughter events and special memories with friends and boyfriends.

In the end, I pulled my own Valentine in and had him read each of your stories, unbiased and really not too sappy for "love-day". And despite his bent toward resisting "Hallmark" holiday moments, he really liked many of them but Molly- your's took the cake. Here is what she said:

My favorite V-Day memory is probably when I was in Cairo with YWAM, and the boys on our team decided that the girls needed to feel loved while we were all so far from home. They arranged a special dinner for us at a restaurant on a riverboat on the Nile, and had flowers and Valentine's waiting for everyone when we arrived. Then, they wrote and played us a song all about being God's beloved--still makes us all smile, four years after the fact. It was amazing, that a few young guys could bless us in a completely platonic and friendly way--and that they would have the insight to focus on and remind us of God's love for us on such a romantic kind of day.



Molly choose the feather baby pendant from Inspired Pendants and I think she will love it. I want to encourage the rest of us to shop around their site as a portion of their proceeds during the 1st week of March are going to their church missions trip to Brazil.

Speaking of love, I need to spend some time this week resting in God's love and am going to take a little break from writing here in order to write in my journal and Bible for the next 7 days. resting in the truth of His Love.

Psalm 90:14
Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,
that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.

L is for the way you look at me.

Cheesy I know but some parts of Valentine's Day just have to be to get the full value out of the holiday. I don't feel like writing about regular old life right now and am happy to blog about a fun giveaway instead.

Before I go all giveaway crazy and tell you what it is...a few things to catch you up on for the sake of L-O-V-E. Like my lovely sister in law, who after hearing my obsessing over nature and birds made me this:

my very own bird nest, modeled by me:


on to the goodies though. Since I love my necklace, I thought it would be fun to give you a little Valentine's Day bling as well. I just love showing off my crafty friends & blessing the few of you who read my thoughts. I guess it goes back to my desire to give thoughtful and unique gifts.

Without further ado. I present to you the loveliness of Inspired Pendants , the brainchild of Ami & Christy (I have known Ami since I was 12). There are so many options to choose from
and you can shop your little heart out here

Here are two of my personal favorites that I can imagine wearing with jeans and a white tank on a summer's night. Sounds really good right now as the snow piles grow higher and higher.



Head over to their new website to find your own personal favorite. Then come back here and I want to know the best Valentine's day memory you have along with your pendant choice. You have until Saturday at midnight to enter & I will have my Valentine help me determine the winner & share my best Valentine's memories as well. Go!

channeling Julia Child

The 2 dishes to be conquered were as follows:
Ratatouille and Poulet Sauté aux Herbes de Provence
recipes found here and here

Saturday night my dear and brave friend Jamie & I faced our biggest kitchen challenge yet. 2 recipes by the world renouned Julia Child. We tied our aprons (more like I spilled on my scarf that I just got dry cleaned) and sharpened our knives.

A few observations from the evening:
- there is nothing quite like cooking with a glass of wine in hand with a good friend
- the complexity of the recipes may or may have not taken us over 2 hours to complete
- when it says "a whole chicken" you don't put the insides in. I have a gracious friend and a long way to go in the cooking world. That sure freed up some space in my pan
- "If you’re afraid of butter, just use cream"- a direct quote from Julia which seems fitting as inspiration seeing as there was over a stick of butter & 7 tbs of olive oil combined between the dishes

they came, we swapped

I am full of joy from having women in my house this morning bringing laughter and stories and bags and boxes of stuff. And before I tell you how much I loved the swap (and my new stuff), I have to tell you that the community of it was what was life giving today. If I am honest, I woke up a little down this morning, distracted by something that was bothering me. But then friends stepped in with smiles and sunshine and GOOD FOOD. yes. good food helps most things. And I LOVED it and having them.

Including meeting my blog friend Amber for the first time! Isn't it a weird world where internet dating and cyber connections eclipse reality for some? Let me reassure you, we are not those people. But here we are, two girls journeying through life and sharing stories of our everyday, what Amber would call shenanegans. And now we are REAL LIFE friends who are going to get breakfast in a few weeks at a wonderful little cafe in GR where I used to go with Erich when he was in college.

And there were these fun girls who totally jumped right into the sillininess of working a pose within 10 minutes of meeting one another. Thanks to our photographer friend Christy for that inspiration!
Amber, Christy, Joy, Bree, Me, Joy, Michelle, Rochelle

Everyone brought so many great things and the selection really was incredible, including several item still in original packaging, proving that we all have great things that we just don't use! Here are some of my goodies and I can't wait to incorporate them into my decor.

I think the great thing about a swap is that you could do almost anything- books, accessories, clothing...possibilities are endless. Here a few things that I learned:

*Offer to bring all extra items to Goodwill- that way your guests really do only go home with new items and after all, they brought stuff they want to get rid of so help them do it.
* One cannot underestimate the necessity of good coffee and food for girlfriends. Crucial to the success of any get together and added a lot of extra mingling to the party.
*The more the merrier- invite friends to invite their friends. The more people you have, the more great stuff to choose from and the more opportunity for people to connect with other women they have not met before.

me and my W2(s)

boy oh boy. Nothing like multiple tax forms to remind me of the events of the past year in my professional life. I had my job @ the non-profit consulting firm that I loved and lost within 3 short months due to economic strain, got this job the same day I lost that one, was rehired at the company that I quit 8 months earlier, starting selling Uppercase Living & accepted the position as the High School Youth Group assistant at our church. Which is where we land now; with me working a total of 5 days between 3 part-time jobs.

Let me do some calculations. 5 jobs in one year. No wonder if felt a bit rocky at times. If I were a CPA, I would hate me. Maybe even judge me due to my heavy paperwork as someone who is a chronic floater, discontent or a restless employee. I don't feel like that girl anymore, although I can definitely say that this is not what I had in mind for the trail on my resume. I guess some things cannot be easy judged by the trail left behind but have to be understood through experiencing them. I also know through this time I have had some incredibly patient friends who continued to push me to look for answers, to sort through discontentment rather than stuff it and to ultimately look for and realize my worth outside my work.

And the good thing is that I still really LIKE working. I have a healthy appetite to learn new things in the roles that I am in and continue to find that what I put in, I get out. So here's to a year of less tax forms and keeping things constant. sounds like a plan to me.

loving lately.

man. I am loving Hillsong's music lately. The places it takes me and the lyrics that seem to just get it. Here is a little piece of what I mean with my current fave:


Other Pandora stations in rotation include:
missy higgins
Regina Spektor
Natasha Bedingfield
Sara Bareilles

I have to confess, I am also continuing to love birds. Not robins and blue jays but pieces inspired by nature like hooks

and jewelry

and love birds just in time for Valentine's Day

what are you loving lately?

grief is like a tsunami

tsunami (noun):
a series of water waves that is caused by the displacement of a large volume of a body of water, such as an ocean.

I have heard the phrase "grief is like an ocean" before and I think it is true but even more, I believe that grief is like a tsunami. Let me explain. I was at church recently, simply making a trip to the drinking fountain and passed through the courtyard where the remnants of the luncheon following a funeral were still set up. There they were, bouquets upon bouquets of flowers sent for the family, pictures of a loving mom and friend, notes and tissues and programs and punch. It was all there.

And I was still sad. Not just sad again, but another wave of sadness rushed over me about this and this and this wave of grief in the past year.

I think the initial pain of grief is like a tsunami, a wave of catastrophic proportions that rushes in without warning, ripping roots and creating confusion. And after the water receeds you are left with clean up and learning a new normal and from time to time, there is a ripple effect, little waves lapping in pools around your feet or sweeping you up. But it is not without hope.

1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 (ESV)
Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.