whirlwind weekend

sometimes life seems to be stuck on a permanent fast forward button. Almost always when summertime comes, there are weekends of zipping through one celebration to the next. Stuck in there are memories and moments of laughter and this past weekend was no different. This is how it went:
Friday night, birthday party for my favorite 3 year old which of course, was "Cars" themed. The simple summertime life of blowing bubbles, eating outside and hanging out on picnic tables.

his momma made the cake herself and it turned out great!

Saturday morning up early to drive to other side of the state for a gorgeous (PINK) wedding in Troy. I really have never seen so much pink in one place at one time. "Barbie-esque" as my husband called it. No one escaped without a little bit of sparkle on them. I wish I had pictures but just imagine pink lemonade or pepto vision for everything you see and you can transport yourself there. Ryan's grandma was here as well for the wedding and we usually only see her one time a year, on the 4th of July so that was an extra treat.

Despite our calm smiles, we almost didn't make it to the wedding after realizing that it was 30 miles away from the place we were getting ready & found ourselves sitting in HEAVY traffic at 2:50 when the wedding started at 3:00. always an adventure. We made it and caught the vows, the rings, and when the pastor introduced the couple as Mr. & Mrs. Johnson (the bride's maiden name). Worst part was he didn't realize his error.

Sunday brought adventures at Sandy Pines, where Ryan's parents have a summer home and Rochelle and I laid by the pool and took a golf cart ride to the ice cream store, if that isn't the heart of summer, I don't know what is. We ended the weekend grilling out with our best friends from church whose little girl just turned 2 months old. I love watching our friends become parents and we enjoyed hanging out and taking a LONG walk that is part of their daily routine. What a weekend! Thankful for times away but always thankful to be home.

make new friends, but keep the old

make new friends but keep the old,
one is silver and the other gold.
like a circle has no end,
you and me will always be friends.

This Girl Scout's song has been playing through my brain for the past 24 hours after having Cara over for muffins yesterday...she and I met randomly (or maybe not so randomly) in a coffee shop months ago and in that time she got married so we had a little coffee date at my house to catch up. Those good ole Girl Scout days always help me but things back in perspective. Especially when there are Samoas or Thin Mints involved.

Speaking of goodies, I made muffins for us and have a new little baking secret to share. I know Sandra Lee is the queen of semi-home made but I will give it my best.

Here it is: you start with a box of muffin mix, for me it was apple cinnamon

here's where the "homemade part comes in":
mix oats, brown sugar, flour, butter and a little cinnamon and christen the top of the muffins, bake & voila! your very own homemade feeling, yet from a box, muffins:

tuesdays and thursdays

I think I am starting to understand that every one's weekly experience feels different, based on what their current routine looks like. I know this has been true for my life over the past year. As I grocery shopped this morning, on a Tuesday, I thought back about how a year ago, I could do the same but it was because I had ALL of my time to myself. And as wonderful and peaceful as that sounds like from the outside, there is value to having places to be and productive things to do. Not that checking facebook 14 times a day and frequenting coffee shops don't have a place, they certainly do but they are not a fulfilling full-time non-job.

For me, there are emotions that go with certain days of the week in this season. Wednesdays look like good beginnings with our staff prayer meeting at 8 am and good endings with Bible Study at 7 pm with work in between. Friday nights after work make me want to roll my windows down and fire up the grill. And for awhile now, Saturday mornings have been sure to include a long run if possible.

And now there are Tuesdays and Thursdays which never really had any significance before but in the month of June have risen to the top as a unique thing in and of themselves. We are soon closing a major chapter of our lives as Ryan and I have been praying about and working towards his transition out of the business world and into life as a full-time student. Starting with bringing his work schedule down to Monday, Wednesday, Friday for the month of June. Which just happen to be my days off as well. The first Tuesday was kind of weird, cause I already have my own Tuesday/Thursday routine, and we weren't sure if we should do our own thing or keep crossing paths. It kinda seemed like we kept getting in each other's way and neither of us found the day very productive. But as the month has gone on, there is a little smile in my heart on these days, going along doing our own thing but having the same pace as we do.

In a few short days we enter July where all of Ryan's days on the same plane, working towards school, starting his internship with our church for 8-10 hours, and stepping away (for now) from life as a business owner. As the days melt into weeks, into months, into years, I am so excited for the days ahead, to learn new routines together, to enjoy the space we have on the quiet mornings to drink coffee and maybe sneak another episode of Arrested Development in there before we officially start our days.

I just had to include this pic of Ryan on one of our recent afternoon adventures.

sunday worship

This song keeps pushing its way into my mind and I love the acoustic version of it, for the quality and for the nostalgia it brings from listening to the Jars accoustic version of Flood over and over and over in early high school. On a deeper level, I connect with the lyrics because so many times I feel this way, like one part of me is pulling closer and one part of me is pushing away. Maybe that will always be part of our struggle on earth but with grace, we can raise both hands and worship despite the pull.

Jars of Clay, 2 Hands
I’ve been living out of sanity
I’ve been splitting hairs and blurring lines
I am a house that is divided
In my heart and in my mind

Chorus*
*I use one hand to pull you closer
The other to push you away
If I had two hands doing the same thing
Lifted high, lifted high*

I have a broken disposition
I’m a liar who thirsts for the truth
And while I ache for faith to hold me
I need to feel the scars and see the proof

And if we just keep digging we can reach the foundation
Of our souls
And if we just keep cutting all the chains from our hearts
We’ll lose control

And it feels like giving in
It feels like starting over
It feels like waking up, and you know it’s coming
It feels like a brand new day
Open your eyes

Lifted high,
Lifted high,

inviting creativity to the party

you may have noticed a new little button on my site here...I am now an
Uppercase Living consultant (wall words and all kinds of fun stuff)! If you have not heard of the company, no worries. I had not either until early April when I was at a home decor boutique in a local beach town and the shop owner showed me a few Uppercase Living ideas. I was hooked and am excited to share it with you. Here is a link to my personal site if you are interested in checking a catalog out.
http://joyfulhomes.uppercaseliving.net

I am also going to be creating original pieces inspired by the whole "shabby chic" look starting with the windows and doors that I got at an awesome barn sale today. Major adrenaline rush as I got there and there were already 20 people scouring the place for deals at 9:10...the doors opened at 9. It's funny because I never dreamed that I would be doing something like this but somehow over the events of the past year, perspective switched a bit and here I am. I promise this blog won't become my business journal. Nope, counting on it and my good friends to keep my creative adrenaline in balance.

but while we are here, check out a few fun things for inspiration! If you are interested, send me an email me and we can chat. And for the rest of y'all (still the lingering effect of the Southern drawl coveted while in Florida with the girls) there may just be a giveaway somewhere down the road as well...

beauty through tragedy

I heard part of this family's story yesterday on the radio and was so touched by their testimony of faith through tragedy that I had to share it with you. Jake and Rebecca Mutz were a young married couple whose daughter was born with unexpected complications and after 7 days in their arms, went to be with Jesus.
I contemplated posting this because I want to protect the minds and the hearts of my dear friends who are young moms and moms-to-be. I don't know how it will hit your heart and my prayer is that if you do feel led to listen to it, that what you sense through their story is not the fear and loss they experienced but their joy in His goodness in their lives.

It is a 5 part interview that you can listen to here as well as get more information about the book that this family has authored. They read the introduction to the book and it was so beautiful that I wanted to share those words.

When I hear Handel, Beethoven, or Bach, I think how profoundly moving music can be. I feel my soul lifted, called to something higher, something nobler, something more perfect than this fallen world has to offer. It invades my mundane, ordinary existence and as I listen I feel transported—as if the music has escaped from another realm.
A grand and glorious symphony has been written, and for seven dark but beautiful days I heard the strains of its melody. The musical score came from Heaven with the debut of a tiny, helpless baby. Her song was complex, yet perfectly written.
Frail as she was, this little one took center stage and, without uttering a sound, stirred the passions of the thousands who listened.
Elegant music has a lingering effect. And so did the hymn of this tiny life. She touched me and I am left with the divinely beautiful memory, changed forever by having heard a few measures of His symphony in her brief but mighty life.
Be still and listen. May you, too, feel the wonder of this great mystery, that one so small could lead so many to hear the Everlasting Song.
As taken from the book "A symphony in the dark".

Since losing Kaden, my heart and mind have found a more comfortable place in grief than I ever knew possible. I know that I like to avoid pain and feeling uncomfortable, useless to fix anything, and broken myself. But I also know, and was reminded after listening to this story that Psalm 30:11 was never more true.

You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; You have loosed my sackcloth and girded me with gladness.

getting crafty

I don't know about everyone else but I think we have started to move from the wedding most weekends phase to the baby shower phase. Which is a happy transition but there are still a few weddings each summer and about a year ago, I started to realize how quickly each time I would run to Bed Bath & Beyond with my 20% coupons in hand and scour the aisles for the perfect potholder or cocktail set.

One wedding it hit me as I recieved a gorgeous invitation that I set on my side table, then moved to my fridge and eventually threw away. So much heart is put into every detail of a wedding, including the invite, and what a shame for that to go to waste. So I started a new wedding gift tradtion. Sorry BBB.

I began by purchaing an 5x7 or 8x10 frame, depending on the invitation's size, and using craft paper or whatever layout worked best, then frame the invite as our gift. We are headed to a wedding on the east side of the state in 2 weeks and here is the one I made yesterday as an example (covered up the date for the sake of the couple's privacy).

I also have found that a bulk size pack of tissue paper and plain gift bags have been a great investment. I don't have to worry about not having the right bag and running into Target between the wedding & reception for wrapping stuff (don't tell me you haven't been there too!).

smells like...

my high school bffs circa 1999. I know the rest of you 80s children were waiting for me to finish that sentence with "Teen Spirit". Let me explain myself so you don't start wondering what exactly my friends smelled like sophomore through senior year of high school.

Yesterday after an early morning run on the other side of town, I used Bath & Body Works Cucumber Melon body wash in a friend's shower. It took me straight back to the locker room for JV volleyball games, hanging out with my girls outside of our lockers senior year, Slurpee runs and days at Grand Haven. This was our scent.

Then came Ralph Lauren Romance, Ryan bought my first bottle for me right before beginning my freshman year at Taylor University. A smell signifying a young romance, late night phone conversations outside my door in Room 237, driving 3 hours just to meet for dinner (and maybe a kiss too), a new chapter of life. Sophomore year brought a whiff of "Ralph", the edgier scent that came in that cute little blue bottle. That was the year that we broke up for a while, I changed my major to communications and then back to psychology within a matter of weeks, went to Kenya, tried to heal from a heartbreak, mended the heartbreak, and started wearing Romance again.

A few more current scents that give me emotion:
-the smell of JP's coffee which reminds me of the beginning of my professional career after college & getting coffee in the mornings
-Old Spice deoderant that smells like cologne when Ryan gives me a hug
-Cover Girl powder which will always smell like my grandma "touching up" her makeup

What are your "smells like" scents that bring you back to places and times?

a new slight obsession

what started as a small simple journal...led to a website...and now I may never be the same. Forgive my dramatics but I just jumped on galison.com after purchasing one of their journals. Think Steven Covey (Franklin Covey) meets your junior high art teacher. brilliant. I have this little guy and originally bought it because I needed a place to record prayers and praises.

I felt like too much of life was just passing me by with small miracles, prayers, quotes, running in and out of my mind before I had a chance to soak any of them in. So I wrote in the front "prayers and praises" 2009 and found that it fits perfectly in my purse so I have no excuse for leaving it on my nightstand.

Last night I was reminded, in my Esther study (of course), that it is "for such a time as this" we were born. Esther didn't just happen to be born at the time she was, a Jew, in the palace and with an opportunity. She had a choice, to face her fear and to take the courage given to her. Those may have seemed like big moments and we can wonder how it might relate to our daily prayers and comings and goings, but I think God gives those to us day by day if we look for them. We spent some really meaningful time in prayer as a group and sharing small miracles that give hope. Those are the things that I need to write down, to keep in my journal and on my heart.

Just for fun, they also have a great collection of diaries with locks. If I were 10, you might see this one crammed between my mattress'.

a day in pictures

the big 2-6 turned out to be such a great day from beginning to end. It began with waking up and deciding that instead of working out, I would make some morning glory muffins. which were then enjoyed ala breakfast in bed watching multiple episodes of Arrested Development on Hulu with Ryan, who just so happened to be working from home.

on to an afternoon of coffee with my mom & 2 brothers,and a surprise gift! A whole box of party stuff like napkins, paper plates, etc. I don't think they knew I would be so happy about it but the fact that it had to be in the picture might have given them a clue.


When I got home, there was a card on the counter with 2 little cards inside from Ry. A nice card, despite the silly picture but that is what you get for a dog lover. The cards were for my choice for dinner and to go shopping for one thing that I wanted.

Red Robin was a MUST for dinner, hello! they give you a free burger on your b-day for signing up for their e-newsletter. freesy easy! Whisky River BBQ burger and bottomless fries. Then on to Coldstone for my free "like it" that I got the same way...yum. And my shopping choice, some new sandals that I LOVE. Thanks babe, it was such a great night!

Wanted to share a few of the Florida pics in honor of the wonderful 3 days marking our 2009 reunion! I had such a great time spending with them, whether it be on Kel's couch discussing everything from the past year to the latest Jon & Kate updates...these are my girls. There is just something about being known. these are my friends. aren't they gorgeous?! And the best part is that they are beautiful inside and out.

Here are our host and hostess, Kelli & Jared whose invited us into their beautiful home for the weekend. I am so proud of Kel for the wife she is to Jared & not to mention her intense cooking and baking abilities. I have never seen a baker's rack so full of cookbooks in my life!

my dear city dwelling friend Emily who assured my sweaty palms during turbulence among other blessings

And then there is our little momma, Bethany, the first of the group to venture into the next chapter, motherhood. Thanks for paving the way B! You are going to be an awesome mom!



love you girlies and am feeling more refreshed than I have in months. God was so good to me, knowing the first week of June would be a perfect time for me to have a deep breath of fresh air. One other thing that was a really big blessing to me on the trip was that my early riser tendencies created a sacred window each morning for me to be in the word, studying Esther which is affirming my heart in personal and deep ways.

drumroll please...

thanks friends for all of your entries! It was fun to read where each of you would spend yours if you were the winner and learn a little about you through your comments.

But now the time has come for comments to end and to announce that thanks to Random.org, the winner is...Torie . I had to go random because I really wanted to share my birthday with y'all. I loved the southern accent and culture I experienced in Florida this weekend and am trying to integrate it into my very Midwestern life- don't mind me.

Torie- enjoy your date night with your hubby or a girls night over coffee- whichever you choose!

back to the homestead

ahh. back from the sunny south. with the tan lines to prove it.


Feeling so rejuvinated after 3 days away with my dear friends who know me. Pics later, for now I want to make sure and enjoy the Sunday night with my hubby before the week begins.

Don't forget to put in your vote for my little giveway that ends tomorrow night at 9 pm. Help me help you.

it's my birthday and I'll give if I want to

well, it's not technically my birthday until next Tuesday but since I believe in the phenomenon known as the birthday week, let's get this party started.

I have a gift card sitting at my house to a store that I don't intend using it at...so with the help of Gift Card Buy Back, I am going to exchange it in just in time for a little birthday dinner gift card. I'm so excited I might even let Ryan count it as my birthday present. There are lots of yummy places on the list and I think I have it narrowed down to Red Lobster. Cheesy garlic biscuits. enough said.

And since it will be my birthday, I get to decide how to celebrate and I want to invite you to the party. Since you can't all come to my house for a slice of cake and ice cream, I am going to give $10 of my gift to one of you! lucky lucky you. All you have to do is check out this site and come back here to let me know by Monday at 9 p.m. EST where you would shop if this gift became yours. Happy shopping...

In the meanwhile, I am headed to Florida with the girls and will be enjoying a long weekend of sunshine and good company. Looking forward to reading your choices and when I return with a tan.

N. as in "Gnome"

I had a giggle fest 2 nights ago silly enough to match any laughter I have had in the past year. It seems like in traveling, you start to see people and things and can make your own little "what not to do" list in your head. Not talking about the "what not to wear" portion of travel, when you see couples in matching wind suits and a family of 10 in matching shirts; although those situations provide humor too.

I'm talking about the customer service aspect of travel. Let me tell you my story and it will make more sense. Tuesday night I was booking long-term parking for Ryan as he is flying out of O'Hare this morning and the young man I was working with just couldn't quite seem to get it together. My first clue should have been when he repeated my credit card number back to me more than 3 times with errors. But here is the kicker. When it came time to validate the email address I was providing for a confirmation, I wanted to clarify a letter for him so I said something like, as in "d" for dog.

Well, this young phone operator decided that in that moment, he would go above and beyond the call of duty and repeat back the email address to me with a word to clarify each letter. g for girl, d for dog, e for elephant. and then we got to the letter "N". And out of his mouth came "N for GNOME!" GNOME! That starts with a "g" bud! I lost it and had to hold the phone away from my mouth for the rest of our conversation. He proceeded through the alphabet and after hanging up, Ryan entertained with things the rest of the night like "your nomenclature makes it difficult to understand you or "I don't gnome what to do next". Maybe this guy should get a job with Travelocity since they use a gnome in their advertising!

the difference one year can make

welcome to june, only 3 days late right? This week is flying by and I stopped in my tracks Monday morning, realizing that a year ago (june 1, 2008) was my first day of choosen unemployment. While, maybe not choosen unemployment but working myself out of a job without another one lined up.
I went back and read my first thoughts on this blog at that time, looking for a space to lay my thoughts out to examine.

And oh friends, the difference a year can make. Let's start from the very beginning and at the risk of writing chapters, I think a list will do:

in the past year I...
-left my job and my stability
-left my position with the youth group
-enter identity crisis, stage right
-sat on my couch, coffee shops and the chairs of my interviewers for 5 weeks
-got hired at non-profit development company
-company closed
-back to coffee shop, but only for a morning as I met my new boss there
-started working for a non-profit, realized it had a short term purpose
-left that job for my old job that I worked so hard to quit
-decided with my husband that he would sell his business and I would be his sugar mamma
-found myself happy there

On a heart level: learned my worth is defined so much deeper than what I am doing, that someday I will love being a mother, watched dear friends get married, friends who struggled to have a baby have their sweet baby girl, learned about grief, learned about joy, watched my husband grow in his faith & joined in for the ride, ran some more miles, experienced anxiety and experienced peace.

I am thankful for the difference that a year can make.